(no subject)
Hi friends-
I'm checking in to let you know about a local sexual assaulter, Scott Beiben. You might know Scott as the person behind Lost Film Festival, a project based out of West Philly that also tours the country. He also is involved with Blood Link Records. He was recently called out publicly as a sexual assaulter. He is on tour right now and I know some of you live in places where he's going. The survivor has asked that peple attend Lost Film Fest screenings and spit on Scott. The tour dates are as follows:
apr 11 tue NY NY @ NYU - Shorin Auditorium | room 802 | Kimmel Center for University Life | 60 Washington Square South | 8pm | free
apr 12 wed MA Boston @ Emerson College - Walker #503 120 Boylston St - 8pm | Free (sponsored by Films From the Margin, Women in Motion) RSVP: http://reed.facebook.com/events.php
apr 19 wed IA Des Moines @ Drake University - Meredith Hall | 8pm | $5-10 sliding scale donation
apr 20 thu IA Des Moines @ Des Moines Art Center - 4700 Grand Ave.-- Levitt Auditorium | 6:30pm - 9pm
apr 22 sat IL Chicago @ Versionfest (Bridgeport Neighborhood) www.versionfest.org
apr 23 sun IL Chicago @ Around the Coyote Gallery - 1935 1/2 W. North Ave. (in the historic flat iron building) | 7pm | $5-10 sliding scale
apr 28 fri NY @ SUNY Purchase
apr 29 sat CA Coachella
apr 30 sun CA Coachella
may 5 fri CA Santa Barbara @ Isla Vista Theater
Updates with more tour info are at his website, www.lostfilmfest.com
For the survivor's public letter calling him out, which is highly triggering, please look here
here's the deal. this is the first time i've written about this.
scott beibin lives in philadelphia and runs BLOODLINK RECORDS and THE LOST
FILM FESTIVAL. some of you may be familiar with one or both of those.
i think scott beibin should be banned from the punk rock and radical
communities. and here's why....
i was born with a bunk heart. it's given me problems for years (and put me
in the ER twice), but, for those who are concerned, it seems to be fine
now (though i'm getting it checked out soon just to make sure).
when i was 19 years old i lived in richmond, virginia. i was doing a zine
and looking for people to place ads in it (to fund the printing- it was a
fairly large project) and i liked bloodlink records so i called scott. we
talked for hours about my zine, projects, hardcore and punk, and then he
said, "hey, are you doing anything? wanna come to philly?" and i wasn't
doing anything, so i went. i was casually seeing someone at the time and
heavily persuing a mutual friend of scott and i's (which i told scott all
about).
i didn't know scott at all and had never heard of him before. i went to
philly with a promise of free photocopies and good food. he is vegan
straight edge and into the same shit i'm into so i figured it'd be a fun
time. i stayed for 5 or 6 days.
scott hit on me every day, hour after hour. those who know me know how
blunt and to-the-point i am about how i feel, and i told him that not only
was i not into him, but that i needed him to stop telling me how much he
liked me and asking me to MOVE IN WITH HIM. after a few days i said to him
that i felt like he wasn't listening or respecting me, that he was really
crossing my boundry line, and that he needed to let "his feelings" rest
because it was NOT OK. i told him that he needed to hear and comprehend
and accept and respect my NO. i told him that he was disrespecting me by
continuing to hound me about wanting to hook up. he seemed surprised,
apologized, and continued to hit on me.
because his house was a wreck i was staying in his bed. there was shit
EVERYWHERE and a tiny path cleared for walking. when i went down i didn't
know i'd be staying in his bed, but it was my only option. so i slept
facing away from him, no touching (for those who know me you know how i
hate to be touched), no cuddling (i only cuddle people i fuck), no
nothing.
one night, out of the blue, while we were watching tv in his living room,
i had a huge heart problem. it was fluttering and skipping beats and it
wouldn't stop. at first i grabbed my chest, thinking after a second or two
it would stop, but it didn't. it kept going. every time my heart would
thump against my chest i'd involentarily groan. i stood in scott's living
room, holding my chest, falling downward a little with each random heart
beat, making this weird gutteral noise that i had no control of. i became
weak (from the blood being pumped or not pumped or whatever was
happening), i held the wall to keep myself from falling. it was
terrifying. i was too weak and too scared to cry. i was so weak i could
only speak in a whisper. i hadn't told scott about my heart, or about the
panic attacks i get from having heart probelms, and, holding to the wall
with my heart going crazy, i tried my best to summarize. he brought me the
phone. after trying to dial twice and calling the wrong number (from my
hands shaking so much) i had scott dial the number of best friend, who
knew how to calm me down. but my heart didn't stop. i was hysterical,
shaking, pale as a ghost, thinking that i was going to die. i think i even
said to scott, while looking at my own shaking hands "i don't want to die.
i don't want this to be the last time i see my hands..."
when i'm sick, scared, or my chest feels tight or my heart get thumping, i
get into the bathtub until i calm down. i had scott run a bath for me and
while he was filling the tub i undressed and got in. I WAS NOT TRYING TO
FUCK HIM. that's obvious, right? i was having a fucking heart attack. when
you think you're about to die having a "friend" see you naked is not high
on your list of concerns.
so i curled up in a ball in the tub with the lights off (lights excite the
mind which in turn makes your heart beat faster, so we cut all sound and
light to try to steady my heat beat). i couldn't cry so i just whimpered,
facing the wall. i couldn't even look at anything, any color, any motion,
because it would get my heart fluttering and pounding again.
i sat in that tub for 6 hours. i couldn't even speak. i just whimpered,
and after awhile i couldn't even do that.
scott asked if i wanted to hear stories read aloud after awhile i nodded
yes. i felt like a little kid. he read to me for awhile, the came over and
dumped warm water on my back. i thought he was being a good friend trying
to sooth me. i was so scared.
i zoned out, still staring at the white wall, with scott dumping water on
me... then i noticed he was touching my breasts. i told him to stop. he
did. l
i got out of the tub and went up to his bed, exhausted and shakey and
scared and wanting to sleep (i was going home on the first bus out), and
scott wouldn't stop trying to cuddle with me. i was too tired and weak to
tell him no. he went to touch me and i just didn't have it in me anymore
to fight him, so i said, "you can touch me but i don't want to touch you"
so he touched me for a second, then i looked over and saw his dick, felt
digusted, told him to stop, went to sleep, went home, and didn't leave my
house for 2 MONTHS. i didn't feel normal again for about 6 months. that's
just because of my heart. i didn't think about scott or what he did until
i felt better. when i told my roomate he was shocked and i got mad, saying
that scott was a good friend to put up with me, a total stranger, having
such crazy health problem in his house. being so nice to run a tub for me.
read me stories.
then i realized that he took advantage of me during the scariest moment of
my life. that he waited for my moment of weakness, when i was having
FUCKING HEART PROBLEMS, to swoop in and grab a feel.
then i told a few people, and they said he had a reputation for doing
things like that.
i wrote to scott to let him know that we were no longer friends. i never
told him why. i have seen him once since i moved to philly and my heart
raced and i started sweating and i almost cried. i thought i'd be able to,
you know, ruin his day or something but i felt totally helpless.
so.
fuck scott beibin. do not support his film fest or his record label. warn
other people about him. he likes younger girls (like me when i was 19 and
he was 30), he takes sexual advantage of girls (like me when i was sick
and in a state of shock). he's showing his films here in philly this week
so make sure not to go to that, and if you do, make sure you spit on him.
********
feel free to repost this and tell my story as you will. if this is what it
takes for people to see him for what he is, then this is what it takes.
since i posted this as a bulletin on myspace 3 people have written to me
to share their own scott beibin stories, and all 3 asked me to keep them
private. just know that i am not the only one, even in my MYSPACE FRIENDS
LIST, that scott has done this to. s
I'm checking in to let you know about a local sexual assaulter, Scott Beiben. You might know Scott as the person behind Lost Film Festival, a project based out of West Philly that also tours the country. He also is involved with Blood Link Records. He was recently called out publicly as a sexual assaulter. He is on tour right now and I know some of you live in places where he's going. The survivor has asked that peple attend Lost Film Fest screenings and spit on Scott. The tour dates are as follows:
apr 11 tue NY NY @ NYU - Shorin Auditorium | room 802 | Kimmel Center for University Life | 60 Washington Square South | 8pm | free
apr 12 wed MA Boston @ Emerson College - Walker #503 120 Boylston St - 8pm | Free (sponsored by Films From the Margin, Women in Motion) RSVP: http://reed.facebook.com/events.php
apr 19 wed IA Des Moines @ Drake University - Meredith Hall | 8pm | $5-10 sliding scale donation
apr 20 thu IA Des Moines @ Des Moines Art Center - 4700 Grand Ave.-- Levitt Auditorium | 6:30pm - 9pm
apr 22 sat IL Chicago @ Versionfest (Bridgeport Neighborhood) www.versionfest.org
apr 23 sun IL Chicago @ Around the Coyote Gallery - 1935 1/2 W. North Ave. (in the historic flat iron building) | 7pm | $5-10 sliding scale
apr 28 fri NY @ SUNY Purchase
apr 29 sat CA Coachella
apr 30 sun CA Coachella
may 5 fri CA Santa Barbara @ Isla Vista Theater
Updates with more tour info are at his website, www.lostfilmfest.com
For the survivor's public letter calling him out, which is highly triggering, please look here
here's the deal. this is the first time i've written about this.
scott beibin lives in philadelphia and runs BLOODLINK RECORDS and THE LOST
FILM FESTIVAL. some of you may be familiar with one or both of those.
i think scott beibin should be banned from the punk rock and radical
communities. and here's why....
i was born with a bunk heart. it's given me problems for years (and put me
in the ER twice), but, for those who are concerned, it seems to be fine
now (though i'm getting it checked out soon just to make sure).
when i was 19 years old i lived in richmond, virginia. i was doing a zine
and looking for people to place ads in it (to fund the printing- it was a
fairly large project) and i liked bloodlink records so i called scott. we
talked for hours about my zine, projects, hardcore and punk, and then he
said, "hey, are you doing anything? wanna come to philly?" and i wasn't
doing anything, so i went. i was casually seeing someone at the time and
heavily persuing a mutual friend of scott and i's (which i told scott all
about).
i didn't know scott at all and had never heard of him before. i went to
philly with a promise of free photocopies and good food. he is vegan
straight edge and into the same shit i'm into so i figured it'd be a fun
time. i stayed for 5 or 6 days.
scott hit on me every day, hour after hour. those who know me know how
blunt and to-the-point i am about how i feel, and i told him that not only
was i not into him, but that i needed him to stop telling me how much he
liked me and asking me to MOVE IN WITH HIM. after a few days i said to him
that i felt like he wasn't listening or respecting me, that he was really
crossing my boundry line, and that he needed to let "his feelings" rest
because it was NOT OK. i told him that he needed to hear and comprehend
and accept and respect my NO. i told him that he was disrespecting me by
continuing to hound me about wanting to hook up. he seemed surprised,
apologized, and continued to hit on me.
because his house was a wreck i was staying in his bed. there was shit
EVERYWHERE and a tiny path cleared for walking. when i went down i didn't
know i'd be staying in his bed, but it was my only option. so i slept
facing away from him, no touching (for those who know me you know how i
hate to be touched), no cuddling (i only cuddle people i fuck), no
nothing.
one night, out of the blue, while we were watching tv in his living room,
i had a huge heart problem. it was fluttering and skipping beats and it
wouldn't stop. at first i grabbed my chest, thinking after a second or two
it would stop, but it didn't. it kept going. every time my heart would
thump against my chest i'd involentarily groan. i stood in scott's living
room, holding my chest, falling downward a little with each random heart
beat, making this weird gutteral noise that i had no control of. i became
weak (from the blood being pumped or not pumped or whatever was
happening), i held the wall to keep myself from falling. it was
terrifying. i was too weak and too scared to cry. i was so weak i could
only speak in a whisper. i hadn't told scott about my heart, or about the
panic attacks i get from having heart probelms, and, holding to the wall
with my heart going crazy, i tried my best to summarize. he brought me the
phone. after trying to dial twice and calling the wrong number (from my
hands shaking so much) i had scott dial the number of best friend, who
knew how to calm me down. but my heart didn't stop. i was hysterical,
shaking, pale as a ghost, thinking that i was going to die. i think i even
said to scott, while looking at my own shaking hands "i don't want to die.
i don't want this to be the last time i see my hands..."
when i'm sick, scared, or my chest feels tight or my heart get thumping, i
get into the bathtub until i calm down. i had scott run a bath for me and
while he was filling the tub i undressed and got in. I WAS NOT TRYING TO
FUCK HIM. that's obvious, right? i was having a fucking heart attack. when
you think you're about to die having a "friend" see you naked is not high
on your list of concerns.
so i curled up in a ball in the tub with the lights off (lights excite the
mind which in turn makes your heart beat faster, so we cut all sound and
light to try to steady my heat beat). i couldn't cry so i just whimpered,
facing the wall. i couldn't even look at anything, any color, any motion,
because it would get my heart fluttering and pounding again.
i sat in that tub for 6 hours. i couldn't even speak. i just whimpered,
and after awhile i couldn't even do that.
scott asked if i wanted to hear stories read aloud after awhile i nodded
yes. i felt like a little kid. he read to me for awhile, the came over and
dumped warm water on my back. i thought he was being a good friend trying
to sooth me. i was so scared.
i zoned out, still staring at the white wall, with scott dumping water on
me... then i noticed he was touching my breasts. i told him to stop. he
did. l
i got out of the tub and went up to his bed, exhausted and shakey and
scared and wanting to sleep (i was going home on the first bus out), and
scott wouldn't stop trying to cuddle with me. i was too tired and weak to
tell him no. he went to touch me and i just didn't have it in me anymore
to fight him, so i said, "you can touch me but i don't want to touch you"
so he touched me for a second, then i looked over and saw his dick, felt
digusted, told him to stop, went to sleep, went home, and didn't leave my
house for 2 MONTHS. i didn't feel normal again for about 6 months. that's
just because of my heart. i didn't think about scott or what he did until
i felt better. when i told my roomate he was shocked and i got mad, saying
that scott was a good friend to put up with me, a total stranger, having
such crazy health problem in his house. being so nice to run a tub for me.
read me stories.
then i realized that he took advantage of me during the scariest moment of
my life. that he waited for my moment of weakness, when i was having
FUCKING HEART PROBLEMS, to swoop in and grab a feel.
then i told a few people, and they said he had a reputation for doing
things like that.
i wrote to scott to let him know that we were no longer friends. i never
told him why. i have seen him once since i moved to philly and my heart
raced and i started sweating and i almost cried. i thought i'd be able to,
you know, ruin his day or something but i felt totally helpless.
so.
fuck scott beibin. do not support his film fest or his record label. warn
other people about him. he likes younger girls (like me when i was 19 and
he was 30), he takes sexual advantage of girls (like me when i was sick
and in a state of shock). he's showing his films here in philly this week
so make sure not to go to that, and if you do, make sure you spit on him.
********
feel free to repost this and tell my story as you will. if this is what it
takes for people to see him for what he is, then this is what it takes.
since i posted this as a bulletin on myspace 3 people have written to me
to share their own scott beibin stories, and all 3 asked me to keep them
private. just know that i am not the only one, even in my MYSPACE FRIENDS
LIST, that scott has done this to. s