(no subject)
Im begining to just want to give in. Im really unhappy. Super unhappy. Maybe I should just let my stupid heart fail. All this hard work feels like nothing. Like im not getting anywhere. I dont feel supported I simply feel gossiped about. I feel like I have NO ONE I can talk to hear. My problems are stupid to them. They dont understand how I can feel so awful inside. I dont either but I have to put up with it. Im moody and sick. Ive had to much blood drawn, to many tests taken. I knew what was wrong for the most part. Everyone else seems to see too and as worried as they say they are I feel no support from them, I just feel like its a huge burden for them to know. And I can tell that they resent that burden, thus making me feel worse and wishing more and more that I wont wake up the next day. If it is a burden for you to watch me destroy myself than dont bother worrying about it. There is no point. I am making my own choices as sick as they may be I know what Im doing and I see the risks. If I was dying of a brain tumor you would support me, but when it comes to dying of an emotional disease like ana you scoff at me and just tell me to stop. If you think this is fun 24 hours a day than you ought to leave right now. This is not fun, this is life. it is a struggle to live.