(no subject)
My mother sent me this.
Men are like....
1. Men are like ... Laxatives ... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
The great says of our time:
BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN...IS HERSELF
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER
I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN....SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN....AND I HAVE A GUN
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE...AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME
DO NOT START WITH ME....YOU WILL NOT WIN
ALL STRESSED OUT....AND NO ONE TO CHOKE
And last but not least:
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED....SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
Men are like....
1. Men are like ... Laxatives ... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
The great says of our time:
BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN...IS HERSELF
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER
I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN....SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN....AND I HAVE A GUN
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE...AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME
DO NOT START WITH ME....YOU WILL NOT WIN
ALL STRESSED OUT....AND NO ONE TO CHOKE
And last but not least:
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED....SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN