So...

[dying_rag_doll]

I've started yet another Thinspiration journal. Nothing too big...but I am getting big myself. I've gained 6 pounds in one week, all by eating chocolate and fatty foods. I don't understand why I'm having cravings like this all of a sudden, and I can't just control what I eat. It's sickening, the way I eat food too...I think I'm a binger. John took away my laxatives, mainly because I've been abusing them like woa, and he's just concerned that I'll end up in the hospital if I keep using them the way I do. So...it looks like I'm gonna have to lose weight the old-fashioned way. I wanna lose AT LEAST 15 pounds, that way I can fit into all my clothes again, and I can have my self confidence back. I can't even look in a full mirror anymore...that's how bad I feel about myself. I told John...he HAS to help me do this, because I can't keep fucking it up and eating everything I want. I'm not pregnant anymore...I can't do this!!! I'm so determined to stick to this, and by buying the Thinspiration journal, which I keep with me AT ALL TIMES, I'll be able to write down how I'm feeling and if I'm getting cravings or not. Because by taking your mind off food for even ten minutes, the craving disappears. (sigh) I just hope that losing weight works for me this time. I want to do it the healthy way, so I'm going to walk AT LEAST 2 miles each day and eat the right foods. Fruits, veggies, all that good stuff :-)

Also...I'm back at Gamestop, so come visit me sometime!