(no subject)
A friend of mine at work just lost his father so we all donated money to send flowers and a card to his funeral. I looked at that card... and had no clue on what to say. I sat there and nothing came to mind. I'm terrible with these things.
Initially it seemed as though losing my mother numbed me to death. I became jaded by it for a long time as a kid. you have something like that taken away from you so young that nothing matters after that. For a while I kind of felt like I was the only person who actually existed and everyone else was a fixture of my mind. I wondered if other people actually felt pain, or if they were just programed that way...
My feeling for it has changed... But It still leaves me speechless. I realize that life is real, not just some program made to entertain me. Because of my denial for so long, death is hard to swallow now.
I find myself not having a hard time talking about it in general, but talking to people who have lost isn't easy. It's something I've always wanted to be good at but never was. It's funny, I know what it feels like so i should know what to say since I know what I would want someone to say to me, right?
Truth is, there's really nothing you can say to make someone feel better about it. I've thought about it... and the reason I can't help people through their difficulty with it is because I'm still trying to cope. Until I know what could possibly be said to make me feel better about my mom's passing I'll never be comfortable trying to help someone else.
I know for a fact the words "I'm sorry for your loss" mean absolutely nothing. I accepted that as a child and for a while I was bitter about it... people would say it to me and i'd just be like "please, say anything EXCEPT that". For some reason it's probably the worse thing to say yet the only appropriate thing to say at the same time. But why is that?
People say it to express their sympathy, but their apologizing for something that wasn't their fault. One instance it's appropriate because the ultimate meaning of the term "I'm sorry" is to feel uneasy about something. however, isn't this only supposed to be used when some is at fault? It works and at the same time it doesn't.
when it boils down to it, people say their sorry because there's nothing else you can say. you pretty much cop out. There's nothing you can say or do to make the person feel better but you have to say something so you say that.
I judge this despite the fact that I know personally that there is nothing else that can be said. while I hate having it said to me I say it to others. does this make me a hypocrite?
I'm starting to think people are too lazy/pre-occupied with other things then to worry about this, and i think people don't think about it because death is something people don't want to think about. but why not? It's a part of life. part of the beauty of life is the fact that you live it, experience what you want, and then die. none of us are going to live forever and the sooner we all recognize that the better we'll be.
One thing that hasn't changed, I still don't fear death. No, I don't want to die right now. I'm having the time of my life. But when it's your time to go it seems like it would be easier to accept your faith. I've come to terms with this through conditioning. while I still can't accept my mothers faith, I can accept mine. why is that?? why is it so hard to let go of others but so easy to be selfless when you're about to go? you know what? scratch that. I don't know what it feels like to die so who am I to say it's easy to accept it? It's not like anyone's ever told me when I was going to die...
But seriously, if you died tomorrow would you be ok with it? would you be able to die knowing you did everything you wanted to do?
No...
Initially it seemed as though losing my mother numbed me to death. I became jaded by it for a long time as a kid. you have something like that taken away from you so young that nothing matters after that. For a while I kind of felt like I was the only person who actually existed and everyone else was a fixture of my mind. I wondered if other people actually felt pain, or if they were just programed that way...
My feeling for it has changed... But It still leaves me speechless. I realize that life is real, not just some program made to entertain me. Because of my denial for so long, death is hard to swallow now.
I find myself not having a hard time talking about it in general, but talking to people who have lost isn't easy. It's something I've always wanted to be good at but never was. It's funny, I know what it feels like so i should know what to say since I know what I would want someone to say to me, right?
Truth is, there's really nothing you can say to make someone feel better about it. I've thought about it... and the reason I can't help people through their difficulty with it is because I'm still trying to cope. Until I know what could possibly be said to make me feel better about my mom's passing I'll never be comfortable trying to help someone else.
I know for a fact the words "I'm sorry for your loss" mean absolutely nothing. I accepted that as a child and for a while I was bitter about it... people would say it to me and i'd just be like "please, say anything EXCEPT that". For some reason it's probably the worse thing to say yet the only appropriate thing to say at the same time. But why is that?
People say it to express their sympathy, but their apologizing for something that wasn't their fault. One instance it's appropriate because the ultimate meaning of the term "I'm sorry" is to feel uneasy about something. however, isn't this only supposed to be used when some is at fault? It works and at the same time it doesn't.
when it boils down to it, people say their sorry because there's nothing else you can say. you pretty much cop out. There's nothing you can say or do to make the person feel better but you have to say something so you say that.
I judge this despite the fact that I know personally that there is nothing else that can be said. while I hate having it said to me I say it to others. does this make me a hypocrite?
I'm starting to think people are too lazy/pre-occupied with other things then to worry about this, and i think people don't think about it because death is something people don't want to think about. but why not? It's a part of life. part of the beauty of life is the fact that you live it, experience what you want, and then die. none of us are going to live forever and the sooner we all recognize that the better we'll be.
One thing that hasn't changed, I still don't fear death. No, I don't want to die right now. I'm having the time of my life. But when it's your time to go it seems like it would be easier to accept your faith. I've come to terms with this through conditioning. while I still can't accept my mothers faith, I can accept mine. why is that?? why is it so hard to let go of others but so easy to be selfless when you're about to go? you know what? scratch that. I don't know what it feels like to die so who am I to say it's easy to accept it? It's not like anyone's ever told me when I was going to die...
But seriously, if you died tomorrow would you be ok with it? would you be able to die knowing you did everything you wanted to do?
No...