Let's Make A Change
i just got done talking laycees and she definatly gave me something to think about
I need to start growing up and making something out of my life.I can't just isolate myself in my house and wait for something to happen. I need to get up and get out. But there is only one problem. the need for transportation. Well I will be getting that soon. Besides that back to what I was saying. I know dating someone is not going to justify my life damn it. But I need someone seriously to be there for me. Someone to love me. I need love in my life. And I feel like I am not getting it from anyone besides two of my friends, you know who you are. I want someone to hold me and kiss me and tell me I am beautiful, and that they love me for me. I don't care what you are going to say because this is how I feel and it is not going to change. I hate how my friends say I dont need a guy/girl whatever. I hate it. and maybe just maybe it will get me back on track to being happy again instead of all depressed .They are not realizing what/HOW I feel!!
I really like him I do, but, o well, I know nothing is going to happen. I guess we will only remain friends.Which i dont mind because he is a great guy! It hurts but I will get over it. I am not going to complain like my "other friend" who I wont name. Yes he likes 2 other girls but I am not going to bitch. My time will come though I wish it was NOW. But I guess I can wait. Well I am gonna have to wait anyways.
I hate how everything is APPEARENCE. All the guys in this school are super ficial high school boys. Not all people are attractive, but everyone needs to start seeing people for what they are inside. not there damn looks. Most people who may not look like super models, are beautiful to me because of who they are inside. At school I get a kick out of it because guys only want to date the "skinny pretty girls" but when I look at these girls I see nothing but ugly because of their personalities. I might not be gorgeous, but I have a lot going for me, i just need to first figure out what that is, but I'm glad I don't really have great looks. At least I know when people pay attention to me its because of who I am inside, not out.
I am actually happy for me right now. I am doing track and what not, and this for me, is my time to loose some weight. Not for anyone else but for ME. I am so sick of being judged on my "size" instead of my personality. look at what society is now!IMAGE! I may be big but I am kick ass at alot of things. Some you would'nt even think of.;) Back to the point. Maybe if I loose just 50 ilbs I will be MORE happy and confident with myself. I don't want to be so skinny I mean I don't know about you but I want some meat on my bones! But my mind is so set on this I am excited. I am glad that Haley pushed me into doing this. Maybe my life will start coming about
I can honestly say that Haley is my best friend. I couldn't say that she is not. She puts me in line when I need to be.Shuts me up when the shutting needs to be shut, and helps me alot. When I talk to her I feel so great and happy. I love her because she LISTENS she does not judge. I have told her my deepest darkest secret which makes me feel so much better. I at least needed to tell someone, because I could not hold it in anymore. and I am glad that I told Haley. She is like no other, though she may not consider me as her "best friend", or whaever. I am just glad I have her in my life. She is everything. She is like the special present that I can't wait to open ON my birthday. The antisipation on opening it is so great. And when you finally got the wrapping paper off you are amazed at what you have received. You have recieved something that is beautiful,soft, kind, and something that does not judge you. It is content with you at every waking moment. You can't wait to play with it,(NOT THAT WAY DUMBASSES!) once it is out of the package!After that you just want to cuddle with it when you are laying in bed knowing that you are secure and safeAND MOST OF ALL LOVED. That is what a friend is to me and i can only THINK of having two of them and i know who they are. and i hope they do to. H.C and H.M(yes you)!!! but anyways i have had alot to say and i dont think i have anymore to say. toodle doo
I need to start growing up and making something out of my life.I can't just isolate myself in my house and wait for something to happen. I need to get up and get out. But there is only one problem. the need for transportation. Well I will be getting that soon. Besides that back to what I was saying. I know dating someone is not going to justify my life damn it. But I need someone seriously to be there for me. Someone to love me. I need love in my life. And I feel like I am not getting it from anyone besides two of my friends, you know who you are. I want someone to hold me and kiss me and tell me I am beautiful, and that they love me for me. I don't care what you are going to say because this is how I feel and it is not going to change. I hate how my friends say I dont need a guy/girl whatever. I hate it. and maybe just maybe it will get me back on track to being happy again instead of all depressed .They are not realizing what/HOW I feel!!
I really like him I do, but, o well, I know nothing is going to happen. I guess we will only remain friends.Which i dont mind because he is a great guy! It hurts but I will get over it. I am not going to complain like my "other friend" who I wont name. Yes he likes 2 other girls but I am not going to bitch. My time will come though I wish it was NOW. But I guess I can wait. Well I am gonna have to wait anyways.
I hate how everything is APPEARENCE. All the guys in this school are super ficial high school boys. Not all people are attractive, but everyone needs to start seeing people for what they are inside. not there damn looks. Most people who may not look like super models, are beautiful to me because of who they are inside. At school I get a kick out of it because guys only want to date the "skinny pretty girls" but when I look at these girls I see nothing but ugly because of their personalities. I might not be gorgeous, but I have a lot going for me, i just need to first figure out what that is, but I'm glad I don't really have great looks. At least I know when people pay attention to me its because of who I am inside, not out.
I am actually happy for me right now. I am doing track and what not, and this for me, is my time to loose some weight. Not for anyone else but for ME. I am so sick of being judged on my "size" instead of my personality. look at what society is now!IMAGE! I may be big but I am kick ass at alot of things. Some you would'nt even think of.;) Back to the point. Maybe if I loose just 50 ilbs I will be MORE happy and confident with myself. I don't want to be so skinny I mean I don't know about you but I want some meat on my bones! But my mind is so set on this I am excited. I am glad that Haley pushed me into doing this. Maybe my life will start coming about
I can honestly say that Haley is my best friend. I couldn't say that she is not. She puts me in line when I need to be.Shuts me up when the shutting needs to be shut, and helps me alot. When I talk to her I feel so great and happy. I love her because she LISTENS she does not judge. I have told her my deepest darkest secret which makes me feel so much better. I at least needed to tell someone, because I could not hold it in anymore. and I am glad that I told Haley. She is like no other, though she may not consider me as her "best friend", or whaever. I am just glad I have her in my life. She is everything. She is like the special present that I can't wait to open ON my birthday. The antisipation on opening it is so great. And when you finally got the wrapping paper off you are amazed at what you have received. You have recieved something that is beautiful,soft, kind, and something that does not judge you. It is content with you at every waking moment. You can't wait to play with it,(NOT THAT WAY DUMBASSES!) once it is out of the package!After that you just want to cuddle with it when you are laying in bed knowing that you are secure and safeAND MOST OF ALL LOVED. That is what a friend is to me and i can only THINK of having two of them and i know who they are. and i hope they do to. H.C and H.M(yes you)!!! but anyways i have had alot to say and i dont think i have anymore to say. toodle doo