my heart cant take the hurt anymore
Im at shaunas right now. i have been contemplating for the past couple of hours about alot of things. everything is just happening so fast i dont know what to do anymore. im loosing friends. everyone is giving me shit for everything. i hate when i dwell on the past. i officially suck at life. i dont know who i can go to anymore just to talk. i have lost everyone. i am alone.i am no one.
why is it that i continue to do it. maybe its because my feelings have become more stonger. i never felt like this before. you are different. you are special to me.i love to indulge into you. but i get the idea that you dont even care. i want to know what makes you cry. i want you to talk to me. i want to be that one that you yearn for. but what am i talking about right? im just living in another dream. dreams never come true.
i hate my life. i hate everything i do. i hate everything i touch. i am at a point in my life where i am stuck and i dont know what to do. why cant it just end right now?
i lost the one thing that i cared for deeply. but we were just two different people that disagree over everyhting. i am not going to change what i am doing.i am not going to abandon one friend for another. the one thing that i wanted was understanding. but i couldnt get that. the one thing that i wanted was to be cared for and i got that. but in the wrong way. and for that. the freindship has ended on such a sad level. i have promised myself that i will never change for anyone. and that i am going to keep.i am my own person if you dont like me then fine. i wouldnt even change for a friend.sad. but no. if they cant except me then what good is that friendship anyways. i didnt think this would bother me this much but it is starting to take a heavy toll. the relentless hours of debating if i should or if i shouldnt. no more am i going to give in. i cant bare to do this but i have to do it. no matter how much it hurts.no matter how many tears i am going to cry. no matter how much i want to kill myself.i am no longer going to partake in my friends life:'(
why is it that i continue to do it. maybe its because my feelings have become more stonger. i never felt like this before. you are different. you are special to me.i love to indulge into you. but i get the idea that you dont even care. i want to know what makes you cry. i want you to talk to me. i want to be that one that you yearn for. but what am i talking about right? im just living in another dream. dreams never come true.
i hate my life. i hate everything i do. i hate everything i touch. i am at a point in my life where i am stuck and i dont know what to do. why cant it just end right now?
i lost the one thing that i cared for deeply. but we were just two different people that disagree over everyhting. i am not going to change what i am doing.i am not going to abandon one friend for another. the one thing that i wanted was understanding. but i couldnt get that. the one thing that i wanted was to be cared for and i got that. but in the wrong way. and for that. the freindship has ended on such a sad level. i have promised myself that i will never change for anyone. and that i am going to keep.i am my own person if you dont like me then fine. i wouldnt even change for a friend.sad. but no. if they cant except me then what good is that friendship anyways. i didnt think this would bother me this much but it is starting to take a heavy toll. the relentless hours of debating if i should or if i shouldnt. no more am i going to give in. i cant bare to do this but i have to do it. no matter how much it hurts.no matter how many tears i am going to cry. no matter how much i want to kill myself.i am no longer going to partake in my friends life:'(