Sadness Conquers All
I just got done having a heart to heart with my sister. For the most part i conclusively needed it.
If i did not have Jennifer in my life. i do not know where i would be. maybe dead for all i know.
although i just dont know if i can take it anymore. i am about to go at my wits end and do the unthinkable, though i dont want to break her heart. but i am breaking her heart as of now. i hate being stuck in a jam and you dont know what to do. you dont know what is right. i am at a point where i want to grow up.i want to feel free. but i cant because there is a barrier in the way. that being my mother. she is not giving me any leway. she could at least let me enjoy being 18.
last night i think was the most biggest stunt that i have ever pulled. i made so many people worry about me that i didnt even care about anyone but myself.
my mom got worried sick as a result.literally. i dont think i have ever felt this bad ever. it is getting to a point where i am acting selfish. but my friends need to understand that as well. Nobody understands where i am coming from or why i do the things i do. they always judge. no matter how hard i try people always judge me. quite frankly i am getting sick of it. but you know, what can i do? people are always going to have there opinions. you cant stop that.
Therefore i just ruined my whole entire life. there is no getting away from it. i can not escape my mom. there is only one way that i can get out and that is to just kiss her ass. and i dont want to. i dont have the patience nor do i want the time. i love my mom to death and there is no getting away from that. but she is crazy. my mom does not know how to lead a normal life. we are a fucked up family.but i love her:'(
If i did not have Jennifer in my life. i do not know where i would be. maybe dead for all i know.
although i just dont know if i can take it anymore. i am about to go at my wits end and do the unthinkable, though i dont want to break her heart. but i am breaking her heart as of now. i hate being stuck in a jam and you dont know what to do. you dont know what is right. i am at a point where i want to grow up.i want to feel free. but i cant because there is a barrier in the way. that being my mother. she is not giving me any leway. she could at least let me enjoy being 18.
last night i think was the most biggest stunt that i have ever pulled. i made so many people worry about me that i didnt even care about anyone but myself.
my mom got worried sick as a result.literally. i dont think i have ever felt this bad ever. it is getting to a point where i am acting selfish. but my friends need to understand that as well. Nobody understands where i am coming from or why i do the things i do. they always judge. no matter how hard i try people always judge me. quite frankly i am getting sick of it. but you know, what can i do? people are always going to have there opinions. you cant stop that.
Therefore i just ruined my whole entire life. there is no getting away from it. i can not escape my mom. there is only one way that i can get out and that is to just kiss her ass. and i dont want to. i dont have the patience nor do i want the time. i love my mom to death and there is no getting away from that. but she is crazy. my mom does not know how to lead a normal life. we are a fucked up family.but i love her:'(