i can never make anyone happy
my words mean nothing to you so mean mean nothing to me.
your deleted from my heart. bitch.
ok for all that who gives a damn and that really cares. i have found out some news. maybe not great news. but its news. i bet your wondering what this news is huh? well maybe i dont want to say knowing that some certain people dont like my desicion...now dont you think that is fucked up.. i think so. but anyways i just found out that i was pregant...great huh. nott really but whatever.but some certain people. and i will mention no names. dont like the choiuce that i made. they dont like it that i am keeping it. they think it is stupid..well they can fuck off because i dont need them telling me how to make my choices and why i should make my choices.....if people as in my friends dont like the choices i make and are then pissed off at me. then fuck off you were a waste of fuckin time you hoe. dont tell me...im am fuckin 18 i dont need a 17 year older to tell me i am making the wrong choiuce and making me feel less then a person for doing so. Cunt.
but today was not a good day. last night i told my mom. not a great thing. i dont want to talk about it. but then it made me think. i know it is going to tear my family apart i just know it. so i was talking to lisa last night and i told her i didnt know what to do anymore. i dont i am at a loss
so i guess mike was reading the conversation when i was talking to lisa and mike told dale.:( and today dale brought me into the bathroom. he wanted to know if i was gonna go through with the abortion and i told him i didnt know. and he was like so are you going to let your parents deside if you are going to have the baby or not and i was like i dont know so then he stormed off and thats when i started to ball my eyes out.i guess he was going to leave but lisa stopped him and she was talking to him.. and thats when my good ol pal mike came to talk to me. i love that kid he is one of my best friends. i know he will always be there for me as i will be there for him. he is like a brother to me:) but anyways i decided that i am going to keep it but i dont know still. i know if i did that dale would never talk to me again and it would rip him apart.
i realized that i never want to make my self happy. i want to make people happy instead of myself. i never put myself first i always put people first.:( why dmn it. i am not physically let alone not even close to emotionally ready for this. i am waaay to stressed and depressed. i just dont know, i am at a halt. but i am esing my way up to keeping it. i just have to sit down and think about it.
this is already changing my life and if i keep it...egh i dont know i know i have seen a different side to dale that i have never seen before.EVER
all i can say if people dont like my choice....theres the door. im not going to put up with anyone and if they cause shit they better watch it. i am right about to break and if anyone ticks me off the worng way...like in the next week i dont know what i will do...but i a going to go.
your deleted from my heart. bitch.
ok for all that who gives a damn and that really cares. i have found out some news. maybe not great news. but its news. i bet your wondering what this news is huh? well maybe i dont want to say knowing that some certain people dont like my desicion...now dont you think that is fucked up.. i think so. but anyways i just found out that i was pregant...great huh. nott really but whatever.but some certain people. and i will mention no names. dont like the choiuce that i made. they dont like it that i am keeping it. they think it is stupid..well they can fuck off because i dont need them telling me how to make my choices and why i should make my choices.....if people as in my friends dont like the choices i make and are then pissed off at me. then fuck off you were a waste of fuckin time you hoe. dont tell me...im am fuckin 18 i dont need a 17 year older to tell me i am making the wrong choiuce and making me feel less then a person for doing so. Cunt.
but today was not a good day. last night i told my mom. not a great thing. i dont want to talk about it. but then it made me think. i know it is going to tear my family apart i just know it. so i was talking to lisa last night and i told her i didnt know what to do anymore. i dont i am at a loss
so i guess mike was reading the conversation when i was talking to lisa and mike told dale.:( and today dale brought me into the bathroom. he wanted to know if i was gonna go through with the abortion and i told him i didnt know. and he was like so are you going to let your parents deside if you are going to have the baby or not and i was like i dont know so then he stormed off and thats when i started to ball my eyes out.i guess he was going to leave but lisa stopped him and she was talking to him.. and thats when my good ol pal mike came to talk to me. i love that kid he is one of my best friends. i know he will always be there for me as i will be there for him. he is like a brother to me:) but anyways i decided that i am going to keep it but i dont know still. i know if i did that dale would never talk to me again and it would rip him apart.
i realized that i never want to make my self happy. i want to make people happy instead of myself. i never put myself first i always put people first.:( why dmn it. i am not physically let alone not even close to emotionally ready for this. i am waaay to stressed and depressed. i just dont know, i am at a halt. but i am esing my way up to keeping it. i just have to sit down and think about it.
this is already changing my life and if i keep it...egh i dont know i know i have seen a different side to dale that i have never seen before.EVER
all i can say if people dont like my choice....theres the door. im not going to put up with anyone and if they cause shit they better watch it. i am right about to break and if anyone ticks me off the worng way...like in the next week i dont know what i will do...but i a going to go.