(no subject)
yesturday was fun indeed.
Jennah and I went to the mall and bought NOTHING. but it was cool.
last night i seen the biggest douche bag in the world. I used to do meth with this guy a few years back. I talked to him for a moment and asked him if he was using. (Its odd cause now after me and John broke up, the dregs are all unsurfacing). well n e way... oh, the guys name is Dave, so i asked him if he still used and of course he said no, but i could tell. He smelt like death and didn't look too alive. He was sweating really bad( it was freezing out) and his eyes weren't dialating, though, i guess that could have been another substance he is abusing. well then he asked me if i chased lately... I was so exstatic to say no. and be honest about it. I told him that i haven't touched the shit for 8 mos. he looked kinda disapointed, which i could understand. He always wanted to be clean.
But thats when it happened... HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO START UP AGAIN. what a fag. I wanted to run to my car and run him over a lot!!! was he fucking kidding me? See that was the thing with Chet. If he knew you were trying to stay off the shit, he'd never offer it to you. not like that.
I deceided to get myself out before i did something stupid and i took off. As i was walking away i screamed that he was always going to be a junkie. Then he yelled back at me " you will be too" I wanted to cry, but i didn't want to show weakness, They feed on weakness. When i got to my car is when i let it out.
I used to be so much stronger. I tryed damn hard to get off and this asshole wants to ruin it for me. I have a future now and he was jealous. Thats what made me feel better. "I m not a Junkie, not any more and i am damn proud of myself. I love myself." i dunno people can be so ignorant... and STUPID