depressed...
Ive been feeling really DEPRESSED today for some reason. i keep thinking about CUTTING MYSELF like i used to do but my mom would always find out about them... i had a ciggarette to make me feel better once everyone left from the easter party. i'm thnking about my girlfriend MORE THAN EVER and i need to see her soon, before i go back to school. im trying to appolagize to her parents for whatever the fuck i did to them. but i have cried alot today, more than i would every night. i cryed so much. i need to see her before school starts for me because I MISS HER SOO MUCH!!!
maybe when i get back to school we will continue going out.
maybe ppl will laugh at me.
maybe she will ignore me like she doesnt care.
maybe we will hookup in school.
maybe we will make out in front of mrs hale (devil) ((Asistant principle of hell)).
maybe my friends will hate me.
maybe im worrying too much.
if only i could kiss her lips again. if only her parents would like me and allow her to sleepover. if only my fucking life got better just a little bit. i just want to see her again. i need her in my arms. no one knows what its like to be different and be hated for being different and dressing a different way. everyone at my skool are all preps and jocks. no one is like me besides olivia, who has friends. alex is like, not a goth/emo person, but like shes kinda herself. like me. but ppl dont make fun of her. i am the only person that wears tripp pants (besides olivia) in my skool. im the only one that has pink and black hair. im the only one who is depressed about life. i hate myself.
i hate polson.
i hate all those rich fags that go to my skool.
i hate my body.
i hate my hair.
i hate everything.
except alex
maybe when i get back to school we will continue going out.
maybe ppl will laugh at me.
maybe she will ignore me like she doesnt care.
maybe we will hookup in school.
maybe we will make out in front of mrs hale (devil) ((Asistant principle of hell)).
maybe my friends will hate me.
maybe im worrying too much.
if only i could kiss her lips again. if only her parents would like me and allow her to sleepover. if only my fucking life got better just a little bit. i just want to see her again. i need her in my arms. no one knows what its like to be different and be hated for being different and dressing a different way. everyone at my skool are all preps and jocks. no one is like me besides olivia, who has friends. alex is like, not a goth/emo person, but like shes kinda herself. like me. but ppl dont make fun of her. i am the only person that wears tripp pants (besides olivia) in my skool. im the only one that has pink and black hair. im the only one who is depressed about life. i hate myself.
i hate polson.
i hate all those rich fags that go to my skool.
i hate my body.
i hate my hair.
i hate everything.
except alex