The Bluest Eyes in Texas
Title - The Bluest Eyes in Texas
Author - DXlovaSakura
Pairing -Nick/Warrick
Summary - When a loved one dies, it is usually the people who are left behind that suffer the most. Warrick gets a chance to look after Nick, and instead of calming him, what he sees only haunts him.
Rating - PG
Warning: Angst and lots of it
Disclaimer - I don't own anybody in this fic and even after I post it, I will still be broke
Warrick's POV
I still can't believe it. I'm dead. I'm six feet under, I've bought the farm, kicked the bucket. Whatever the hell you want to call it, I'm still no longer alive. All because someone got scared and couldn't own up to what they did. That fool of an undersheriff had to take everything away from me. I used to think that whenever I died, no matter when or what happened, I would have no regrets, and I don't. Except for one...
Not being able to say goodbye to my lover.
My cowboy.
My trouble magnet.
My Nicky.
He's really the only thing I'll miss. Just the simple things like the way his eyes would light up when he was excited, His smiles that seemed like they could like up an entire room, or how he felt against me when we made love. It's moments like that I'll cherish no matter what.
In a way I guess it's also why I decided to do this, to watch over you even if you can't know it. I just couldn't keep away. I wanted... no needed to know that you were alright after I was gone, and even though I got my answer, it wasn't the one I was hoping for.
I saw when you nearly lost you cool and and almost killed the bastard that shot me, but I'm glad you didn't. Even though I would have gladly shot him, you had lost so much and been through hell before this and you didn't need to lose your friends and your job because me.
I watched you at the funeral too. You were more yourself then. More feeling and less stone. I wasn't worried. I knew you were in pain then, but I knew you were strong enough to get through this, and I thought that you would get back to your normal happy self, but I wasn't at all worried about you. I guess I should have been.
It was after that when you began acting different. You started working longer hours and throwing yourself, heart and soul, into his work. Your appearance changed. I watched as you stopped eating and barely got any sleep. You went through the day in a daze, as if each moment was part of an average routine and there was nothing special about each day anymore.
It was your eyes that that made me see just how pain your was in. I always loved your eyes. Those deep pools of blue that with one glance, I could get lost in for hours. They had lost their light. They were dull and empty as if your soul had been pulled out of you. You were like a shell of your former self, and I couldn't stand it.
I know you were hurting baby, but I was glad that Catherine finally stepped in and said something about it. You refused to listen to anyone, and it was kind of obvious that after our years together my stubbornness had finally rubbed off on you.
"Catherine for the last time I'm fine. I just want to get these samples to Greg so I can hopefully solve this case."
"Nick, you need to stop this." She pleaded and took the jars from him. "Warrick wouldn't want you to do this. You know that."
"Well Warrick isn't here anymore, is he?"
This sadness and despair in your voice nearly killed me again. I could never stand to see you hurt. When you were kidnapped and buried I thought I would go insane watching you on that camera. After that I never wanted to let you out of my sight, but you wouldn't hear of it. As soon as you were better you were back in the field.
After that, Catherine let you go and she didn't try to say anything else. Everyone could see that you needed to be left alone for a while. You actually raced home that day. That was the first time in weeks when you actually willingly left the lab.
When you walked through the door, you were still all zombie, no Nicky. You walked through our home blindly like you were searching for some trace that this was all a dream. I watched you freeze in front of a picture. It was one of us together. I think it was on our second anniversary. I remember this one vividly. I was standing behind you with my arms wrapped around your waist and you resting your head against my chest.
You held that picture in your arms so tightly I could see how the metal frame was cutting into your arms. Tears streaked down your face as sobs wracked your body. I was happy, at least you were showing some kind of emotion instead of acting like a shell.
Nick looked down at the picture sadly, slipping it out of the frame, he ran his fingers over their faces. "Warrick...Warrick...It's all my fault. It should have been me...I should have never left you alone."
After hearing you say that, I want nothing more than to reach out to you and tell you I'm just fine, that my death was never your fault. Between the look on your face and fact you believe my death is your fault. I don't know which haunts me more. After seeing you like this I feel worse then ever. I said I would never hurt you and that's exactly what I did.
When I see you like this, I remember a song you used to love. Of course since it was country I didn't pay much attention to it, but for some reason the lyrics always stuck with me.
The bluest eyes in Texas
Are haunting me tonight
Like the stars that fill the midnight sky
Her memory fills my mind
Where did I go wrong?
Did I wait to long?
Or can I make it right?
The bluest eyes in Texas
Are haunting me tonight
As soon as the last word leaves my lips. I think I know why I've always remembered this song. Since I'm the ghost, automatically it's thought that I would be the one doing the haunting, but it's actually the ones we leave behind that do the haunting. I can't close my eyes without seeing my Nicky's devastated eyes. I guess in my case the lyrics are true, because the bluest eyes in Texas really are haunting me.