I want to grow up
I still feel so much like a child. I want to just fast forward the next five years... and be at a job. Where I go to work and make money. I know what I'm going to be doing everyday. I don't have a choice... I'm horrible at making choices. I used to be so confident in everything I said, everthing i did... but not so much anymore. I have been upset for so long... and it just won't go away... and all that ever happens... is I end up getting really depressed for no reason, then I write stupid crap in my live journal, and finally I wake up the next day and delete it. I used to get upset, but I would have never considered myself a depressed person. Now, I can't stand anything. The people I've surrounded myself with are people who you'd think would be a positive influence, but they aren't; they're dragging me down. I need to get away from everything and evaluate my life. Most people don't realized how messed up i am... except for the few people who see my live journal. I had a long talk with Kristen a few weeks ago... and I told her a lot of things that I've never told anyone... and she had no idea... she thought I was a lot happier and just didn't care about stuff... I don't even know what i'm trying to say.... alright, i'm going to sleep.