5x07: The Rift

Jul 14, 2008 23:03

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persiflage_1 July 15 2008, 07:02:06 UTC
Loved this! Especially:

Martha's silent for a long moment. "Jack," she says.

He looks up at her. "Yeah?"

"If we spend enough time telling ourselves we're all right," Martha says, making sure she stays looking at Jack as she asks it, "that living so long, or surviving that year, or fighting the Daleks the way we did -- that it's fine, does it eventually become true?"

Jack considers this for a moment; then he grins, brilliant and painful. "Yes it does, Martha Jones. Of course it does."

Martha/Jack friendship is a wonderful thing!

There's nothing specific in the flare, just a lot of Doctorishness, which is quite enough to make him feel he needs a long bath just to scrub off the phantom hair gel.

That last bit made me giggle madly - but I love the idea of "Doctorishness" coming off our favourite Time Lord!

But I think you've a typo here:

where his fingertips were glow in a gold impression for a moment before fading

Either the "were" isn't necessary, or it should be "glowing"...

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therru July 15 2008, 12:42:06 UTC
Re the "typo": It sort of made me falter, too, before I could sort it out, but what I think it says is "Martha, watching closely, sees [the place where his fingertips were] glow in a gold impression for a moment before fading." "Were" as in "touched the surface of the box", type of thing.

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persiflage_1 July 15 2008, 13:12:51 UTC
Then I'd say it needs some commas to make that clearer...

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therru July 15 2008, 19:17:34 UTC
Well, there is no way you can put more commas in that sentence and keep it good English... And the author has changed it now, anyway. :)

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persiflage_1 July 15 2008, 19:18:51 UTC
Right...

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bakaknight July 15 2008, 13:06:57 UTC
It could be 'aglow'. That'd also work.

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