To:
gentlehobbitFrom:
karlamartinova Title: Home
Characters and/or Pairings: Donna, Eleven, Amy/Rory
Rating: PG
Summary: There is a place for everyone, a place where every choice you made is the right one.
Word Count: approx. 2900
Beta:
bas_math_girl (I had more help:)
There is a magical box in her dreams. It has the most noticeable shade of blue and Donna remembers when the sky was as blue too. Dark times came after that and she wriggles out of its grasp. But she always forgets when she wakes up.
That colour stayed with her though; she noticed hats and cars, child buggies and one crazy man that painted his house like that. “I'm waiting,” he said to a news-reporter that didn't have a better topic for the late night news.
Donna snorted then and got up to bring butter cookies to go with their tea and didn't notice the scared looks of her family. But she didn't notice more than that. Her life was slowly seeping through her fingers because every single time she wanted to take a step forward, something pulled her back. Only in her dreams was Donna close to understanding what it was.
.
The dark was very unusual for the control room. The TARDIS existed outside time; night didn't take place after night and she always liked to have her lights on. It was more cosy and, now that she had a family inside her, it was important.
So, when the Doctor finally opened his eyes, the dark was first thing he noticed. Second was the lack of his companions.
“Amy! Rory!” he yelled and quickly scrambled off the floor where he obviously either fell asleep or hit his head as Amy always predicted. Looking around furiously, he noticed that not only the lights were off but also all systems. The Doctor tried to establish a mental link with his ship but he couldn't get to her. Something was blocking him. Something dark and powerful. But before he could question it, a loud noise came from the inside of the ship and he ran toward it. It led him to the library, where he found Amy and Rory getting out of the pool.
“Brilliantly placed,” muttered Rory, but Amy only grinned and hit him playfully on the arm.
“Don't complain, at least we landed softly. What happened anyway?” she asked, sitting at the edge trying to get water out of her shirt.
The Doctor scratched his head and tried to come up with an explanation he didn't, as yet, have. But he always made it up as he went anyway. “The TARDIS seems to be turned off,” he said, and helped Amy to get up.
She looked at him strangely. “You mean you said something that made her angry or that she is just gone.” There was more sadness than fear in her voice and it made him realize how much Amy had learnt since she became his companion. The TARDIS wasn't just a blue box to her anymore.
The Doctor motioned around him, throwing his hands in the air. “She is here, but I can’t communicate with her. Something is blocking her,” he said and stared into the air. It was really difficult to admit that he didn't have any answers.
It was merely months since she was forced out by House and he was still repairing some damage. Could it be this? Could House leave something in her systems? Or maybe she was too weak and he didn't notice.
There were so many possibilities but one thing the Doctor knew for sure: it happened because of him.
“What can we do?” Rory asked when the Doctor was silent for too long. It never meant anything good. Amy was nervously fidgeting beside him and he reached down to hold her hand. She immediately stopped and sent him a thankful smile.
“We need to search; that thing blocking her must be here. We need to find it and release her,” the Doctor answered triumphantly. They had a plan now and that was always good. But someone saw the flaw already.
“How big is this place exactly?” Rory asked and they all turned to the infinite number of corridors.
“Oh,” the Doctor noted. “We probably should split up.”
.
Donna closed the book with a thud. She noticed that it was way past midnight and the house was quiet. Donna remembered Shaun saying “good night”, but she was so engrossed in the book she wasn't sure she said anything to him.
She felt guilty because of it. They had a house and a big garden, both were doing things they loved, and yet Donna never felt happy. Something was always missing, something her mother called “a baby” and Gramps “an adventure”. They were trying to conceive and she was busy reading every adventurous novel she could find, so they were probably right, but Donna couldn't help but hope there was more to her life than this.
She got up and folded the blanket her mother had made for her future grandchild.
Shaun was fast asleep when she came into their bedroom and she kissed his forehead before she went to change in her nightshirt.
Donna always pondered what was wrong with her. Why couldn't she just be happy? She had everything she could wish for and more, and yet there was still a missing piece. She felt the hole inside her growing each day and sometimes, the pain was physical when a flash of light made her head feel like she was burning from inside.
In bed she snuggled closer to her husband and closed her eyes.
It took her only seconds to fall asleep and only a strange humming made Donna open them again. She was in a long dark corridor and yet she didn't feel cold, she felt warmth enveloping her like the strong hands of her father. This sudden memory startled her. Her dad had died in the year she didn't remember and that clouded all her memories of him.
“Am I dreaming?” she asked aloud to the air only to hear a quiet “yes” in her mind.
“Who said that?” Donna looked around startled and to her horror, she started to recognize those gray walls. Here, in her dreams, Donna Noble was still the saviour of the universe and the empty feeling disappeared, leaving only curiosity.
“I'm back,” she said aloud.
“Yes, I brought you here because the Doctor needs your help.” This time Donna knew who was answering her. She felt the TARDIS getting settled inside her head where no Time Lord knowledge meant harm to her.
Donna smiled. “What did he do now?”
But the TARDIS was silent and even those few lights making her see at least the end of her nose started to go out one after another, and soon the darkness was almost near her. But Donna remembered, remembered that dark could hold dangerous things and she remembered one thing that the Doctor made sure she would never forget.
Run.
.
“I'm glad we stayed together,” Amy said quietly and Rory turned to send her a reassuring smile. He could understand why she was so anxious. She told him what she saw when House made them run for their lives. Rory was glad that he saw only dark. Still, he was more than happy that the Doctor let them eventually stay together.
They tried to follow a trail he sent them on. The Doctor explained that the TARDIS made them when she was changing so he could find the rooms that weren't needed anymore, like the armoury one of his previous incarnations got while on a collecting spree. None of those weapons were used and he was sure that whatever they were after, it was hiding in one of these.
“Amy, are you okay?” Rory stopped, he could feel there was more to her just the anxiety and since he was feeling a whole lot of it himself, he needed to talk it out.
“What if it’s me who caused this?” she mumbled and looked away from him staring at the walls. Rory couldn't be more surprised. He knew that Amy had her own baggage, as did he and the Doctor, but she was always so cheerful, so happy. It was easy to forget that she went through all those things too.
He shook his head. “No, Amy. There is no way this could be your fault. It’s probably some bloody alien that the Doctor made angry. What could you possibly do to cause this?” He took her hands into his, saw them shaking and pulled for a hug. Sometimes it was easy to forget she was fragile too.
“I caused a paradox. We took my future-self close to the TARDIS. What if...,” Amy started, but Rory cut her off.
“No, this is not your fault in any way, it’s his, always his. Do you understand?” he said forcefully, not leaving a single place for her to doubt his words. She nodded against him and he could feel her calming breath against his neck.
None of them noticed a figure observing them from afar. “Yes,” it said, “yes, it’s his fault. Always his.”
.
The Doctor didn't follow the Ponds, didn't start to look through the TARDIS. While he was arguing with them that splitting into three could speed the search, he could feel the TARDIS getting stronger. But it wasn't enough and she only had a chance to whisper one thing to him.
“She will help you,” she said to him, and even though he still didn't know who the “she” was, he knew he had to find her. TARDIS brought her here to help, so that could mean she would know what was happening as she could attract the culprit that was causing this.
“I need to find her,” he murmured with a wire in his mouth. He was lying under the console rearranging the rooms so they all lead there. It was a very logical choice; he congratulated himself on it and regretted not doing it sooner. But before he could finish his plan, the wire in his mouth started to warm up; the whole room was heating up.
The Doctor dropped it and jumped up, pushing the heating down, but it wasn't on in the first place. “What are you trying to..?” he was about to ask when a screen above his head came into life. “Oh no, no, no, no,” the Doctor yelled and ran away in the direction the TARDIS was showing.
Donna was there. Donna was there opening the room.
.
“Are you sure this is the right room?” Donna asked aloud just for sure after she stopped in front of the white door. She had seen enough already. Golden rooms and black rooms, children's rooms and something that looked like an inside of a chapel.
There were pictures of the Doctor’s previous companions and Donna stroke the faces of children she knew were his just from looking at them. She remembered his eyes when he talked about them, about the family he lost and only mere moments after he lost Jenny too.
Her spaceman always carried his guilt like a belt and she just knew it would pull him down sometimes. She suspected this moment was one of them.
“Donna,” a voice called from behind a close door; a voice she didn't recognize, but which sent thousands of goosebumps along her arms. It sounded inhuman and Donna reached for the doorknob expecting hairy creatures and enormous snakes. She wasn't afraid; it was only a dream after all.
But before she could turn, someone tore her away from the door from behind. Donna fell on the ground, not feeling the coldness of the floor on her legs. She turned again, furious, and wanted to smack the person that stopped her from finally finding the reason the TARDIS brought her here.
“What do you think you are doing you idiot?” she started to yell at the young man sitting on the floor beside her, but when he looked, when he really looked at her, Donna recognized those sad eyes of her best friend.
She smacked him on the arm. “How dare you scare me like that?” she said before she started to chuckle.
“Donna,” the Doctor sounded annoyed but soon joined her. They sat there on the cold floor and laughed. It reminded them too much of their time spent together and Donna could almost say she felt happy finally.
But the voice spoke again, startling them both. “Donna and the Doctor together at last. Do you feel it now? Do you feel the guilt yet?” the voice mocked them through the door. The Doctor stood, pulling Donna with him.
“What should be there?” she asked as they both neared it.
The Doctor turned to her and Donna could see the man the whole universe could be afraid of, that turned Daleks into dust and still loved his companions as his own family.
“Me,” he answered, and pushed the doorknob.
.
They abandoned the search after an hour. The corridors just kept getting longer and darker, and they didn't even see anything stranger that they had seen before.
“I have a feeling that he only sent us here to get us out of his way,” Rory said grumpily when they missed the turn to their room for the third time. Amy only smiled.
“Yeah, that seems like him, but we will get in his way eventually,” she said, pulling him toward her. Her back hit the wall, and Rory landed softly on her. He suspected that the search wouldn't be resumed soon.
“Yeah,” he retorted before his wife claimed his lips and erased all the anxieties and troubles bothering them since they met the Doctor.
.
“So, you are finally here. I was getting lonely here and I know how you hate to see the universe on your own, Doctor,” the voice said. Donna gasped loudly when he stepped out of the shadows.
The Doctor didn't look surprised as he watched his ganger walking slowly towards them. His eyes were dark red and Donna didn't find a single similarity in them to the man beside her. Those eyes reeked of hate.
“I thought that you didn't just vanish,” the Doctor said and stepped forward, hiding Donna from those hateful eyes. “You sneaked in, didn't you? Wanted to get out so you don't end up like useless play dough.”
A sly smile appeared on the flesh Doctor, his teeth were slowly turning into white mash.
“Doctor, what is he?” Donna asked and stepped forward again.
The Doctor turned toward her and then back to the flesh Doctor, who fell on the floor in convulsions. His hand got bigger and bigger, turning into a long flat mash. He really did look like a play dough, though.
“He is my ganger, created from flesh, a substance that could carry a human life for a short time, since the original is put in stasis. He was created during a storm and I thought he died,” he paused. “He is dying now, it is too late anyway. He lured me here to kill me so he can take my place.”
“But what happened to the TARDIS? Why did she bring me here?” She might have a Time Lord mind, but nothing made sense to her. She shouldn't be here, not now, not ever. She should be living happily with Shaun, trying to make a baby and seeing the beauty of the world in its eyes. Yes, she had seen the universe and unimaginable things, but there was so much to love on Earth.
“She wanted you to save him,” the Doctor said and motioned to his flesh ganger lying on the ground. Donna didn't question his words and stepped forward, kneeling by him. She could feel the life slowly leaving him; life that was so generously given only to be taken away in the cruellest way. Without any hope.
Donna took his hand and started talking. She talked about their adventures and the universe, about the smallest flower-shop in London, about the baby she felt growing inside her. And as she talked, it wasn't only the flesh Doctor taking comfort in her words.
It was the Doctor who needed to hear that the choices he had made were eventually the right ones; that he hurt the people he loved, but they would understand finally. That they would know that sometimes someone needed to stop time existing or life evolving.
“One day we will all go to a better place,” Donna said softly, and for the first time, the Doctor understood what it meant.
.
He found Amy and Rory sitting side by side on the railing in the control room. They seemed to be more at ease, more comfortable after all the troubles they had gone through. “So, what’s was this all about?” Amy asked, kicking her legs in the air.
The Doctor grinned. “Why me, of course.”
The cheerful laugh that erupted made the TARDIS turn on all her lights, even the Christmas ones that he kept hiding from Amy. And for once, all the darkness was pushed back into the Doctor’s soul.
.
Donna still didn't remember anything when she woke up. She didn't remember the real goodbye she finally said to her best friend, nor did she remember that the TARDIS sang her a love song. But when Donna Noble woke up that morning, she knew two things.
That her mother’s blanket would be put to use soon, and that she was the happiest woman alive and nothing, nothing would be ever missing from her life.