Learning Humanity
Title: Learning Humanity
Author: eryaforsthye
Rating: PG
Pairings: Nine/Rose
Characters: One, Katarina, Sara Kingdom, Two, Jamie, Zoe, Three, Jo, Four, Nyssa, Five, Tegan, Adric, Six, Peri, Seven, Ace, Eight, Nine, Rose, Ten.
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.
Like it? Hate it?
Please comment! :)
Summary:
The Doctor learns how to be human in ten painful steps.
1.
The Doctor closes his eyes, then quickly opens them.
The sight of Katarina's desperate face is burnt into his retinas.
He wonders what he is doing, consorting with such frail creatures.
2.
At the end of his second life, the Doctor waves goodbye to his best friends, knowing with the certainty of his kind that they will not remember him, that Zoe will live out her days (short, though they are) a living computer, and that Jamie, dear Jamie will die in under a year.
He wonders if he'll live long enough to forgive his people their kindness.
3.
Back on Earth, brief jaunt for freedom well and truly over, the Doctor finds he cannot look away from the gentle profile of his young assistant.
When he closes his eyes the ravaged visage of another young woman appears, her aging face replacing Jo's (both frightened, both accusing).
He wonders if the Time Lords have exiled him to this planet for a lesson in something other than obedience.
4.
It is on Logopolis staring at features so very familiar, that it stops being a game.
His oldest enemy (friend) holds a newly orpaned girl with her father's hands, and destroys a life, a world, a galaxy on a whim.
The Doctor wonders why that never angered him so much as now.
5.
A short while later (relatively speaking), he sinks into a chair, and stares at the blank viewscreen, seemingly still glowing with the after-image of the freighter's collision with Earth.
Propelled suddenly by Tegan's broken recriminations, he stands, hands moving to the console, settling on the co-ordinate panel.
It is then he remembers who, what, he is, and slowly he sits back down again, hands folding (twisting) in his lap.
He wonders how to grieve.
6.
In his next body the Doctor paces, pulls violently at blond curls and asks himself what he is doing, what he has become.
That he, once so rational (though not, perhaps, reasonable) should falter, should hesitate at so simple a task!
Anyone would think he was human.
Yet something holds him back each and every time he moves to set a destination.
What if he had lied?
What if he hadn't?
What if she was -
Slumping to the floor next to where she would've hovered, the Doctor wonders if this was madness, to hope, to fear so very strongly, in equal measure.
7.
Crouching in the rain, mud splattering both their legs, the Doctor pleads.
He watches as her face crumples at the edges, (his) Ace, oh so independent, trying to curb the tears, to hide her pain.
From him.
As he begs her understanding, her forgiveness, the Doctor wonders when her belief in him had become so very important.
8.
Slamming long-fingered hands onto the metal working table, the Doctor holds back a scream of frustration.
He feels Time shorten, for him, for his planet, his people.
He is their last resort (chance, hope, salvation) and he has nothing.
The Doctor wonders how humans deal with this helplessness.
Wonders how they live with this fear, this desperation.
9.
The Doctor runs to his death with a quip and a mad grin.
Later, he is interrupted by a human girl, and as she swings him to safety (to life) he wonders if this is love.
10.
The Doctor stares at the Chamaeleon Arch, the words of a woman he could've (would've, had) loved burnt into his memory.
He wonders if this pain (this humanity) will ever end.
Author: eryaforsthye
Rating: PG
Pairings: Nine/Rose
Characters: One, Katarina, Sara Kingdom, Two, Jamie, Zoe, Three, Jo, Four, Nyssa, Five, Tegan, Adric, Six, Peri, Seven, Ace, Eight, Nine, Rose, Ten.
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.
Like it? Hate it?
Please comment! :)
Summary:
The Doctor learns how to be human in ten painful steps.
1.
The Doctor closes his eyes, then quickly opens them.
The sight of Katarina's desperate face is burnt into his retinas.
He wonders what he is doing, consorting with such frail creatures.
2.
At the end of his second life, the Doctor waves goodbye to his best friends, knowing with the certainty of his kind that they will not remember him, that Zoe will live out her days (short, though they are) a living computer, and that Jamie, dear Jamie will die in under a year.
He wonders if he'll live long enough to forgive his people their kindness.
3.
Back on Earth, brief jaunt for freedom well and truly over, the Doctor finds he cannot look away from the gentle profile of his young assistant.
When he closes his eyes the ravaged visage of another young woman appears, her aging face replacing Jo's (both frightened, both accusing).
He wonders if the Time Lords have exiled him to this planet for a lesson in something other than obedience.
4.
It is on Logopolis staring at features so very familiar, that it stops being a game.
His oldest enemy (friend) holds a newly orpaned girl with her father's hands, and destroys a life, a world, a galaxy on a whim.
The Doctor wonders why that never angered him so much as now.
5.
A short while later (relatively speaking), he sinks into a chair, and stares at the blank viewscreen, seemingly still glowing with the after-image of the freighter's collision with Earth.
Propelled suddenly by Tegan's broken recriminations, he stands, hands moving to the console, settling on the co-ordinate panel.
It is then he remembers who, what, he is, and slowly he sits back down again, hands folding (twisting) in his lap.
He wonders how to grieve.
6.
In his next body the Doctor paces, pulls violently at blond curls and asks himself what he is doing, what he has become.
That he, once so rational (though not, perhaps, reasonable) should falter, should hesitate at so simple a task!
Anyone would think he was human.
Yet something holds him back each and every time he moves to set a destination.
What if he had lied?
What if he hadn't?
What if she was -
Slumping to the floor next to where she would've hovered, the Doctor wonders if this was madness, to hope, to fear so very strongly, in equal measure.
7.
Crouching in the rain, mud splattering both their legs, the Doctor pleads.
He watches as her face crumples at the edges, (his) Ace, oh so independent, trying to curb the tears, to hide her pain.
From him.
As he begs her understanding, her forgiveness, the Doctor wonders when her belief in him had become so very important.
8.
Slamming long-fingered hands onto the metal working table, the Doctor holds back a scream of frustration.
He feels Time shorten, for him, for his planet, his people.
He is their last resort (chance, hope, salvation) and he has nothing.
The Doctor wonders how humans deal with this helplessness.
Wonders how they live with this fear, this desperation.
9.
The Doctor runs to his death with a quip and a mad grin.
Later, he is interrupted by a human girl, and as she swings him to safety (to life) he wonders if this is love.
10.
The Doctor stares at the Chamaeleon Arch, the words of a woman he could've (would've, had) loved burnt into his memory.
He wonders if this pain (this humanity) will ever end.