Spooks Pie (A Parody)
Because it is my right. and essays are less fun than songs
Spooks Pie
A long, long time ago.
I can still remember
How spooks used to make me smile.
And I knew that if I had my chance
I could make Ruth and Harry prance.
And maybe the fans would be happy for awhile.
But 10.6 made us shiver
with every romantic moment they did not deliver.
Bad news on Ruth’s suffolk doorstep
we knew she’d never take one more step.
And I can’t remember if we cried
when we heard about Ruth’s widowed spy
but something touched me deep inside
the day Ruth Evershed died.
And the fans were singing
Bye bye we’re going down with our ship
tried our hardest to deny it, but the producers a twit
and them good old spooks, up in heaven, on high
were singing this’ll be the day that we sigh
this’ll be the day that we sigh.
Did you write the Ruth/Harry book of heartrending
And do you have faith in Nicola and Peter’s ending
If outside the theatre they tell you so?
Now do you believe in Ruth ascending? Can Tom returning keep us from Kudos offending
And can he teach us how to recover reaaaal slow?
Well, in s2 we all knew that you were in love with him
coz we saw you gazing with that grin
you kept on touching his hand
yeah we dug that Section Head man.
We were all man that ending won’t suck,
with our fanmixes and fan fic smut
but we knew we were out of luck
the day, Ruth Evershed died.
And we fans are singing
why why, God in heaven why?
You did your best to invest us
And then said “haha Ruth die”
And them good old spooks
Up in heaven on high
Are singing this’ll be the day that we sigh
This’ll be the day that we sigh
Now since series eight, Ruth’s been all sad, and we all hoped it was just a fad
Coz that’s not how it used to be.
When she forgot to knock on Harry’s door
With folders she grabbed up off the floor
In a way that spoke to shipper you and meeee.
Oh and while the producer was looking down
Nicola stole the show’s battered crown
The romance was left adjourned
No verdict was returned.
And while the forumers wrote poetry and verse
Kudos’ office became more diverse
And we wrote postcards with much mirth
The day Ruth didn’t die.
Back then we were all singing
Bye Bye Nicola bye
Shipped Ruth and Harry hard
but now you’re off pregnant, oh my!
And us good old shippers waiting patiently
God knows why
Were singing this is the day we vow Ruth never dies.
This is the day we vow she never dies.
Helter skelter in a Cyprus swelter- the boy jumped in the pool, in the hope of shelter
His name was Nico and he was about to lose out faaaaast
Ruth was watching from the grass
While George went for a walk past, we know, hanging with Ruth, this guy cannot last.
Now, the terrorists come in a swanky car, we all know Ruth ain’t getting far
Oh we all cheered for her to take a stance, but she never got the chance
Coz the terrorists tried to take the field, but Ruth and Nico refuse to yield
Do you recall the angst of the 8.1 deal?
The day the terrorists called.
And we were singing,
My, my spooks, gosh, oh my,
Did your best to surprise us and by Jove we see why
That good old will/they won’t they
Is to fun to deny
Singing 8.1 will be the day that fans will cry
8.1 will be the day that fans will cry
And there you and Harry were, all in one place- a relationship lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on- writers be nimble, writers be quick, writers give us back our ship
Coz loneliness is our couple’s only friend
And as we watched Mani mock them like they were on stage
Our hands were clenched in fist’s of rage
No angel born in hell, could break that Mani’s spell
And as shots rang higher, took a life
And Malcolm told a story in sacrificial strife
We heard the writers laughing in delight
The day, George died.
And we fans were singing
Why, why, Ruth why?
Left the show all alone, and now your dead husband makes us cry
And them good old spooks
Up in heaven on high were singing
this’ll be the day that we sigh
this’ll be the day that we sigh
I met a fellow fan, who was devastated too, and we wished we were one of the happy few
But she just smiled and turned away.
I tried to rewatch s2 ,3 and 4, where I’d watched my ship start, years before
But the emotional trauma meant us fans couldn’t press plaaaay.
And on tumblr, the addicts screamed, the lovers cried and the deniers dreamed
Not a word was left unspoken, “that ending was all hokum.”
And the three characters left we cared about most: Harry, Sasha and Ilya (his tortoise is in the post)
They took the last train for the coast.
The day that spooks died.
And we were singing,
Why, why, oh writers why?
Did your bestest to impress us
But your ending don’t fly
And them good old shippers trying their best not to cry
Are singing this’ll be the day that you deep fat fry.
This’ll be the day that you deep fat fry…”
They were singing,
Why, why, SHOW DAMN IT WHY?
Did your bestest to impress us
But yo ending don’t fly
And them poor old fans, shaking fists at the sky
Are singing this will be the day that you die…
This will be the day that you die…
Spooks Pie
A long, long time ago.
I can still remember
How spooks used to make me smile.
And I knew that if I had my chance
I could make Ruth and Harry prance.
And maybe the fans would be happy for awhile.
But 10.6 made us shiver
with every romantic moment they did not deliver.
Bad news on Ruth’s suffolk doorstep
we knew she’d never take one more step.
And I can’t remember if we cried
when we heard about Ruth’s widowed spy
but something touched me deep inside
the day Ruth Evershed died.
And the fans were singing
Bye bye we’re going down with our ship
tried our hardest to deny it, but the producers a twit
and them good old spooks, up in heaven, on high
were singing this’ll be the day that we sigh
this’ll be the day that we sigh.
Did you write the Ruth/Harry book of heartrending
And do you have faith in Nicola and Peter’s ending
If outside the theatre they tell you so?
Now do you believe in Ruth ascending? Can Tom returning keep us from Kudos offending
And can he teach us how to recover reaaaal slow?
Well, in s2 we all knew that you were in love with him
coz we saw you gazing with that grin
you kept on touching his hand
yeah we dug that Section Head man.
We were all man that ending won’t suck,
with our fanmixes and fan fic smut
but we knew we were out of luck
the day, Ruth Evershed died.
And we fans are singing
why why, God in heaven why?
You did your best to invest us
And then said “haha Ruth die”
And them good old spooks
Up in heaven on high
Are singing this’ll be the day that we sigh
This’ll be the day that we sigh
Now since series eight, Ruth’s been all sad, and we all hoped it was just a fad
Coz that’s not how it used to be.
When she forgot to knock on Harry’s door
With folders she grabbed up off the floor
In a way that spoke to shipper you and meeee.
Oh and while the producer was looking down
Nicola stole the show’s battered crown
The romance was left adjourned
No verdict was returned.
And while the forumers wrote poetry and verse
Kudos’ office became more diverse
And we wrote postcards with much mirth
The day Ruth didn’t die.
Back then we were all singing
Bye Bye Nicola bye
Shipped Ruth and Harry hard
but now you’re off pregnant, oh my!
And us good old shippers waiting patiently
God knows why
Were singing this is the day we vow Ruth never dies.
This is the day we vow she never dies.
Helter skelter in a Cyprus swelter- the boy jumped in the pool, in the hope of shelter
His name was Nico and he was about to lose out faaaaast
Ruth was watching from the grass
While George went for a walk past, we know, hanging with Ruth, this guy cannot last.
Now, the terrorists come in a swanky car, we all know Ruth ain’t getting far
Oh we all cheered for her to take a stance, but she never got the chance
Coz the terrorists tried to take the field, but Ruth and Nico refuse to yield
Do you recall the angst of the 8.1 deal?
The day the terrorists called.
And we were singing,
My, my spooks, gosh, oh my,
Did your best to surprise us and by Jove we see why
That good old will/they won’t they
Is to fun to deny
Singing 8.1 will be the day that fans will cry
8.1 will be the day that fans will cry
And there you and Harry were, all in one place- a relationship lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on- writers be nimble, writers be quick, writers give us back our ship
Coz loneliness is our couple’s only friend
And as we watched Mani mock them like they were on stage
Our hands were clenched in fist’s of rage
No angel born in hell, could break that Mani’s spell
And as shots rang higher, took a life
And Malcolm told a story in sacrificial strife
We heard the writers laughing in delight
The day, George died.
And we fans were singing
Why, why, Ruth why?
Left the show all alone, and now your dead husband makes us cry
And them good old spooks
Up in heaven on high were singing
this’ll be the day that we sigh
this’ll be the day that we sigh
I met a fellow fan, who was devastated too, and we wished we were one of the happy few
But she just smiled and turned away.
I tried to rewatch s2 ,3 and 4, where I’d watched my ship start, years before
But the emotional trauma meant us fans couldn’t press plaaaay.
And on tumblr, the addicts screamed, the lovers cried and the deniers dreamed
Not a word was left unspoken, “that ending was all hokum.”
And the three characters left we cared about most: Harry, Sasha and Ilya (his tortoise is in the post)
They took the last train for the coast.
The day that spooks died.
And we were singing,
Why, why, oh writers why?
Did your bestest to impress us
But your ending don’t fly
And them good old shippers trying their best not to cry
Are singing this’ll be the day that you deep fat fry.
This’ll be the day that you deep fat fry…”
They were singing,
Why, why, SHOW DAMN IT WHY?
Did your bestest to impress us
But yo ending don’t fly
And them poor old fans, shaking fists at the sky
Are singing this will be the day that you die…
This will be the day that you die…