(no subject)
When clients are calling themselves your boyfriends, you know it's gonna be an interesting day. At 9:01am, Phil from Jeno Neuman calls.
Phil: Hey.
Me: Hi Phil.
Phil: Yes, its your boyfriend. How are you?
Me: I'm great. Something tells me you want something.
Phil: How could you tell. I want to meet all the candidates you sent, one this morning if possible and the rest on Monday.
Me: This morning?
Phil: Only in the morning. I'm only at work for the morning.
Me: Greaaat. I'll call you back asap.
Phil: Have me paged because I'm going to Sears later so Sheila may have to meet them. If I'm not there call me on my cell.
He's a character, he calls 19 times a day and Steph and Lucie have their voyages with him so guess who gets him? ME. Oh was today ever interesting.
Yesterday, Patty left me a voicemail to tell Chantal to book her flight for next Tuesday. Fine. I told Chantal. Chantal didn't have her credit card number. So later, when Patty just happened to be on the phone to me and Chantal was standing in front of me, Chantal asked me to ask. So I asked, she gave it to me, no big deal. I guess she mentioned it to Joan in passing. So Joan calls and FLIPS OUT.
Joan: Andrea. This is unacceptable. How dare you not call me and ask for it. How dare you involve Patty. You go through ME..
And it went on and on. So I ran into Lucie's office as soon as I'd slammed the phone day.
Me: FINALEMENT, J'AI MON FUCKING VOYAGE.
Lucie: Why, qu'est ce qui est arrive?
So I told her. She FLIPPED OUT. She said she didn't care. She was talking to Patty today. That this was unfair and she was not going to let me take it. So she called Patty. When Patty came in, Lucie marched into her office and closed the door. She comes out half an hour later and Patty goes "Andee, can you help me with something, Come see..." So I go in and she closes the door.
Patty: Okay, what the hell is going on and why didn't you tell me? I know you can't come to me with this stuff so nevermind. I know you don't go to many people when you have issues so tell me whats been going on. Its not right for you to be feeling this way.
Me: Well, it depends what Lucie said..
Patty: Well she said that you're on the verge of quitting. And she was crying and she said that if you go, she's gone too.
Me: Aww.. Well look. Joan hasn't been being fair to me. She's been disrespectful and I'm sure not intentionally but its still not right.
Patty: Of course its not right. This is a huge deal. And we're going to fix this. We're all going to talk to her on Monday, me, you and Lucie.
So we talked for about 45 minutes and then I said "Okay I need to go hug Lucie now." So I ran in, she was on the phone and desperately trying to get the candidate to hang up so we could talk. Anyway, we hugged and cried some more and then we went to Thursday lunch. Steph and Lucie are like my sisters. We're a package deal. And I'm still frustrated, so they are also. I met with Joan and Patty this morning and Joan denied all allegations, she was so cold and refused to make any change as she saw nothing wrong. And then she played the "You're young, maybe I shouldn't talk to you like that." and I said "No, it has nothing to do with me being young. The fact that I took the shit for being the messenger yesterday was not fair." So we came to the conclusion that I need to tell Joan when she's out of line and she will try and fix it. All day, every time I call her, she answers "Joan speaking." IF THATS NOT RUDE, I DONT KNOW WHAT IS. YOU CAN SEE ITS MY EXTENSION CALLING YOU AND IT RINGS AN INTERNAL RING. YOU DONT EVEN "JOAN SPEAKING" MOST CLIENTS. So if she continues this on Monday I'm marching right back into patty's office and spilling the beans. Like Joan said in our meeting.. "I said to Stephen last night while we were watching Survivor "If the office were Survivor, I'd be voted off." You fucking think. I bend over backwards for everyone, I don't bitch, I don't complain unless its jokingly and I'm never unfair to anyone. Now you tell me why you're getting voted off.
Steph and I got our nails done last night. I needed mine done, and I figured after a year, maybe it was time to go back to Tony with Steph. And I needed to spend time with her because I was just so frustrated. So first, Joan "forgot" to pay us. And I was broke and Steph was 50$ to broke. So Steph says I'll take care of our nails and next time we go you'll pay for me. So fine. We get there, we're getting our nails done, we're paying interac and Steph is looking at me from the machine like "eap". So then I see her frown and say "Okay try 40$" So I said to her "You know, I always knew I'd make someone broke, I just always thought it would be a husband, you know?"
Anyway, then she says "You're gonna have to help me get my keys" because both our nails were wet. So she lifts her arms in the air in the middle of the nail salon and I'm looking at her like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON!?" And she's looking at me the same way. About 20 seconds later I go "OH, your keys are in your pocket aren't they?" And she's all "NO IM DOING THE MACARENA YES DUMBASS THEYRE IN MY POCKET!" It was hilarious.
So, my nails are gorgeous, I'm buying my pink suit tomorrow, and were going to Gentile on Tuesday. Works for me.
Eric meanwhile needs a life. He hasnt been to work all week so he msns me today..
"Hey there miss talkative."
Me: Some of us work, you know.
Eric: Well you've been giving me one line answers all week I was starting to think I was msn'ing my ex girlfriend.
Me: Good, good. I've bee BUSY. Have you rsvp'ed for the barmitzfah yet, jayne is nagging me to nag you now.
Eric: I'm really bad with this stuff.
Me: You think?
So yesterday, we went to Mikasa for lunch. And just by fluke, Jamie was meeting Jen there. So she sees us and we schmooze. As we're leaving she goes to Patty "Hey Mil." And Jamie goes "Looks like you may have a new Dil." And I'm looking at them like they're crazy. So Jamie goes "Know what Mils and Dils are?" So I go, Dare I ask? And she goes "Daughter in Law and Mother In Law." And I'm all SHUT UP. So they have now decided that Eric and I are getting married and Patty loves the idea of me being her Dil. yes, it'd be fun to be her Dil though. But not so much fun to be married to her son I dont think. So I go to Jamie as she's leaving "Bye Jill" And she looks at me like HUH and I'm all "You're my Jamie in law!"
We're all a little bit psycho.
Phil: Hey.
Me: Hi Phil.
Phil: Yes, its your boyfriend. How are you?
Me: I'm great. Something tells me you want something.
Phil: How could you tell. I want to meet all the candidates you sent, one this morning if possible and the rest on Monday.
Me: This morning?
Phil: Only in the morning. I'm only at work for the morning.
Me: Greaaat. I'll call you back asap.
Phil: Have me paged because I'm going to Sears later so Sheila may have to meet them. If I'm not there call me on my cell.
He's a character, he calls 19 times a day and Steph and Lucie have their voyages with him so guess who gets him? ME. Oh was today ever interesting.
Yesterday, Patty left me a voicemail to tell Chantal to book her flight for next Tuesday. Fine. I told Chantal. Chantal didn't have her credit card number. So later, when Patty just happened to be on the phone to me and Chantal was standing in front of me, Chantal asked me to ask. So I asked, she gave it to me, no big deal. I guess she mentioned it to Joan in passing. So Joan calls and FLIPS OUT.
Joan: Andrea. This is unacceptable. How dare you not call me and ask for it. How dare you involve Patty. You go through ME..
And it went on and on. So I ran into Lucie's office as soon as I'd slammed the phone day.
Me: FINALEMENT, J'AI MON FUCKING VOYAGE.
Lucie: Why, qu'est ce qui est arrive?
So I told her. She FLIPPED OUT. She said she didn't care. She was talking to Patty today. That this was unfair and she was not going to let me take it. So she called Patty. When Patty came in, Lucie marched into her office and closed the door. She comes out half an hour later and Patty goes "Andee, can you help me with something, Come see..." So I go in and she closes the door.
Patty: Okay, what the hell is going on and why didn't you tell me? I know you can't come to me with this stuff so nevermind. I know you don't go to many people when you have issues so tell me whats been going on. Its not right for you to be feeling this way.
Me: Well, it depends what Lucie said..
Patty: Well she said that you're on the verge of quitting. And she was crying and she said that if you go, she's gone too.
Me: Aww.. Well look. Joan hasn't been being fair to me. She's been disrespectful and I'm sure not intentionally but its still not right.
Patty: Of course its not right. This is a huge deal. And we're going to fix this. We're all going to talk to her on Monday, me, you and Lucie.
So we talked for about 45 minutes and then I said "Okay I need to go hug Lucie now." So I ran in, she was on the phone and desperately trying to get the candidate to hang up so we could talk. Anyway, we hugged and cried some more and then we went to Thursday lunch. Steph and Lucie are like my sisters. We're a package deal. And I'm still frustrated, so they are also. I met with Joan and Patty this morning and Joan denied all allegations, she was so cold and refused to make any change as she saw nothing wrong. And then she played the "You're young, maybe I shouldn't talk to you like that." and I said "No, it has nothing to do with me being young. The fact that I took the shit for being the messenger yesterday was not fair." So we came to the conclusion that I need to tell Joan when she's out of line and she will try and fix it. All day, every time I call her, she answers "Joan speaking." IF THATS NOT RUDE, I DONT KNOW WHAT IS. YOU CAN SEE ITS MY EXTENSION CALLING YOU AND IT RINGS AN INTERNAL RING. YOU DONT EVEN "JOAN SPEAKING" MOST CLIENTS. So if she continues this on Monday I'm marching right back into patty's office and spilling the beans. Like Joan said in our meeting.. "I said to Stephen last night while we were watching Survivor "If the office were Survivor, I'd be voted off." You fucking think. I bend over backwards for everyone, I don't bitch, I don't complain unless its jokingly and I'm never unfair to anyone. Now you tell me why you're getting voted off.
Steph and I got our nails done last night. I needed mine done, and I figured after a year, maybe it was time to go back to Tony with Steph. And I needed to spend time with her because I was just so frustrated. So first, Joan "forgot" to pay us. And I was broke and Steph was 50$ to broke. So Steph says I'll take care of our nails and next time we go you'll pay for me. So fine. We get there, we're getting our nails done, we're paying interac and Steph is looking at me from the machine like "eap". So then I see her frown and say "Okay try 40$" So I said to her "You know, I always knew I'd make someone broke, I just always thought it would be a husband, you know?"
Anyway, then she says "You're gonna have to help me get my keys" because both our nails were wet. So she lifts her arms in the air in the middle of the nail salon and I'm looking at her like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON!?" And she's looking at me the same way. About 20 seconds later I go "OH, your keys are in your pocket aren't they?" And she's all "NO IM DOING THE MACARENA YES DUMBASS THEYRE IN MY POCKET!" It was hilarious.
So, my nails are gorgeous, I'm buying my pink suit tomorrow, and were going to Gentile on Tuesday. Works for me.
Eric meanwhile needs a life. He hasnt been to work all week so he msns me today..
"Hey there miss talkative."
Me: Some of us work, you know.
Eric: Well you've been giving me one line answers all week I was starting to think I was msn'ing my ex girlfriend.
Me: Good, good. I've bee BUSY. Have you rsvp'ed for the barmitzfah yet, jayne is nagging me to nag you now.
Eric: I'm really bad with this stuff.
Me: You think?
So yesterday, we went to Mikasa for lunch. And just by fluke, Jamie was meeting Jen there. So she sees us and we schmooze. As we're leaving she goes to Patty "Hey Mil." And Jamie goes "Looks like you may have a new Dil." And I'm looking at them like they're crazy. So Jamie goes "Know what Mils and Dils are?" So I go, Dare I ask? And she goes "Daughter in Law and Mother In Law." And I'm all SHUT UP. So they have now decided that Eric and I are getting married and Patty loves the idea of me being her Dil. yes, it'd be fun to be her Dil though. But not so much fun to be married to her son I dont think. So I go to Jamie as she's leaving "Bye Jill" And she looks at me like HUH and I'm all "You're my Jamie in law!"
We're all a little bit psycho.