I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired.
I was walking down the street today, minding my own business, and talking to myself out loud. Sometimes I wonder if I talk out loud to myself just to see the people’s looks. Then I do it when no one is around. I may I just need to adjust the volume of my inner voice.
I won a billion dollars on the 11th of august, and spent the time since then being the happiest I’ve ever been. The problem is I had to go in and receive my money. I put it off for a while looking for a lawyer and an accountant. Then a couple of days ago, as I was walking to get my cash, I stepped in a fucking bear trap.
I laid there a moment to try and figure out how a bear trap got to be on the sidewalk. Then I wondered how I didn’t see it. I contemplated gnawing my leg off but I can’t imagine I taste that good, and with no seasoning it wasn’t worth the effort. Just then I saw a brilliant light in the sky.
As it descended upon me I thought I couldn’t have died from this. Also, considering my history I assumed that my post death experience would include more fire.
As the light drew near me a heavenly voice spoke to me asking, “What are youuuuuuuuu doing,” and before me stood an angel with black wings.
The pain melted away and I replied, “Just catching some sun.” She laughed as she removed my leg from the trap, and my leg was fine.
Life has its ups and its downs. It wouldn’t be interesting otherwise.
Sometimes I would like to live an uninteresting life, sometimes,
Dwayne
I won a billion dollars on the 11th of august, and spent the time since then being the happiest I’ve ever been. The problem is I had to go in and receive my money. I put it off for a while looking for a lawyer and an accountant. Then a couple of days ago, as I was walking to get my cash, I stepped in a fucking bear trap.
I laid there a moment to try and figure out how a bear trap got to be on the sidewalk. Then I wondered how I didn’t see it. I contemplated gnawing my leg off but I can’t imagine I taste that good, and with no seasoning it wasn’t worth the effort. Just then I saw a brilliant light in the sky.
As it descended upon me I thought I couldn’t have died from this. Also, considering my history I assumed that my post death experience would include more fire.
As the light drew near me a heavenly voice spoke to me asking, “What are youuuuuuuuu doing,” and before me stood an angel with black wings.
The pain melted away and I replied, “Just catching some sun.” She laughed as she removed my leg from the trap, and my leg was fine.
Life has its ups and its downs. It wouldn’t be interesting otherwise.
Sometimes I would like to live an uninteresting life, sometimes,
Dwayne