"Poet Speak"
When writing poetry, I have learned--for this day and age and for the particular style we are in--we must do away with "poet speak." That means, no romantic language, ballads to tree stumps or the like. Very depressing (and just one side, I'm sure). So I have some examples from my own writing that can help tighten up a poem and make it more realistic. Plus, poets often don't want people to know it is a poem. When you use certain dialect, it's obvious it's a poem, and that can turn people away instantly. Instead, it is interesting and inspiring to read something or hear it and then be told it was a Shakespearean sonnet and you had no idea. Makes it more impressive, I think.
Examples:
"I was of skinny years" is not something people say. Instead, write it something like "Back in my skinny years."
"Bend to breathe their scents and leave the earth's small colors on Her breast" (yeah, I had fun with this one) could be better expressed as "Don't pick the flowers." I'm doing this very quickly, so there are better realistic phrases one could use; I simply don't have time to investigate them right now.
My prof's: "Upon my walk along the trickling creek" can easily be turned into "I walk along the trickling creek."
Examples:
"I was of skinny years" is not something people say. Instead, write it something like "Back in my skinny years."
"Bend to breathe their scents and leave the earth's small colors on Her breast" (yeah, I had fun with this one) could be better expressed as "Don't pick the flowers." I'm doing this very quickly, so there are better realistic phrases one could use; I simply don't have time to investigate them right now.
My prof's: "Upon my walk along the trickling creek" can easily be turned into "I walk along the trickling creek."