Doctor Who / The West Wing: Paradoxical
Title: Paradoxical
Author's Name: anjenue
Recipient's Name: butterbuns
Fandom: The West Wing
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Ten, Jack, Martha; Sam, Josh, Donna, Margaret
Pairing: Josh/Sam, Josh/Jack/Sam
A/N: This is slightly timeline-altered in order to fit with the latest in Doctor Who (namely, the West Wing timeline has been pushed back ten years).
Martha knew, as soon as they entered the building, that something wasn't quite right.
'They sound...'
'Intelligent?' The Doctor gave Jack a suspicious look, and Jack spread his hands in the age-old sign of what the fuck did I do?
'Why do you assume that I did something?' he asked, sounding huffily defensive, though Martha could see the small smile playing around the corners of his mouth that said maybe I did, maybe I didn't. For someone who'd had several lifetimes of experience to learn to school his features, he was abysmal at it. Or maybe he just didn't care to. The Doctor, after all, could see right through both of them, even though he often chose to ignore it. Probably why Jack never bothered being anything like subtle.
Martha rolled her eyes. Jack caught her looking and gave her a cheeky grin; she just stared at him until he looked away, looking the slightest bit abashed.
'Okay, so maybe I did do something. But I swear, I was not fucking with the time continuum!'
'Was that choice of words deliberate?' The Doctor raised his brows at Jack, who just grinned back and shrugged. Martha didn't miss the slightest hint of jealousy to the Doctor's voice, which was completely irrational as far as she was concerned, but then, the Doctor wasn't very rational when it came to Jack. Nice to know he wasn't without cracks in his façade, after all.
The Doctor eyed Jack for another long moment, with that head-tilt and eyebrow-raise that clearly communicated I'm very disappointed in you, and then said, 'Right then. Let's go see what Jack's done now.'
Jack was uncharacteristically silent as they wound their way through the foyer and down one of the halls. The Doctor seemed to know where he was going, which was unsurprising, considering how often he'd probably been here before (Martha had heard him talk about meeting Abraham Lincoln once, though he might have just been trying to outdo a drunken Jack), but Jack seemed oddly familiar with it too. Martha felt rather like an outsider, even though she'd probably travelled just as much as either of them, relatively speaking - even if that year hadn't technically happened, it still had. That was the weird thing about paradoxes, and it was a good thing she didn't try too hard to think about it because she was pretty sure it would have broken even her brain.
If she'd tried to explain how and why they were here, that would only have made it worse - they'd come back in time to forward in time of when they'd last seen each other, the Doctor saying something about wanting to tie up loose ends and the like (though privately, Martha thought he really just wanted an excuse to see Jack again; she wasn't so sure about herself, but it had been long enough since she'd seen him that she wasn't going to turn down travelling with him again, regardless), and then of course there was the fact that Jack had somehow managed to be sometime in this general timeframe before, but that would have to have happened after the whole event with the Master, which meant between the time the Doctor had left and come back, but then again, Jack had been without the use of his vortex manipulator during that time, which meant he would have to have come here after now but been here before now, and...
Martha was getting dizzy already.
Her train of thought was when a very American-looking and thoroughly engrossed brunet in glasses bumped into her, and then caught her shoulders, apologising profusely as the sheaf of papers he'd been holding scattered all over the floor.
'I'm so sorry,' he said, blushing as he bent to collect the papers. The Doctor gave her a Look - their perception filtres only worked when they didn't draw attention to themselves, after all, and she'd been so caught up in her thoughts that she had walked right into him. Kind of hard to ignore that.
'Sorry,' she mouthed, and then bent to help him. 'It's all right,' she told him with her friendliest smile.
He paused, peering up at her. 'You're not American,' he said, a bit stupidly.
Martha bit her tongue. Great. 'No,' she agreed. 'I'm--'
'How's it going?'
Jack grinned, handing him a messy pile of papers, and the man's eyes widened behind his glasses as he toppled backward onto his arse. 'Jack!' he exclaimed, cheeks flushing a dull puce as he stared at Jack as if he'd seen a ghost. Jack raised his free hand and wiggled his fingers in greeting; Martha looked up at the Doctor just in time to see him roll his eyes in disgust. They both knew by now exactly what that wave meant.
'Jack, what are you...' The man scrambled up to hands and knees, hissing at Jack as if trying to avoid anyone overhearing, which, incidentally, was kind of difficult since they were on the floor in the middle of the hallway surrounded by a mess of papers. 'What are you doing here?'
'I just wanted to see how things were going!' he said cheerfully. 'Congratulations on winning the election, by the way. Not that I had any doubt.'
'Jack is his own bloody paradox,' the Doctor muttered under his breath as Martha straightened and crossed to him, still trying to figure out how this all worked, unwise as it might have been.
The man rumpled his already-rumpled hair, then nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he collected the last of his papers and stood, awkwardly. 'Thanks,' he said, not quite looking at Jack. He cleared his throat, shuffling the papers in his hand, but Jack was still gazing at him intently, and Martha could see the man crumbling beneath the weight of Jack's stare.
'Josh'll want to see you too,' the man said, still flustered. 'I'll go find him, if you want to wait--' He practically fled without waiting for Jack's answer, then returned a second later to grab the handful of papers Jack was still holding. 'Sorry,' he said with a sheepish smile. 'Going. Be back.'
Jack chuckled, and then walked back to where Martha and the Doctor were standing. 'He's cute,' he said in an undertone. 'I wonder if this Josh is just as cute.'
'You don't remember?' The Doctor looked horrified, though at the same time unsurprised.
Jack shrugged. 'I've never met him before. Either of them.'
Martha stared at him. The paradox thickens. 'Then how...?'
'Call it a hunch.' Jack was grinning again, unrepentant. 'He's exactly my type.' He gave the Doctor a meaningful look, but the Doctor just shook his head, sighing.
'Remind me to break your vortex manipulator again,' he muttered, frowning as Jack gave him a serene smile that said he had no intention of doing any such thing.
'Can't,' he replied. 'If you do, then I can't go back in time after this to do whatever I did in the first place that made this meeting possible, in which case this wouldn't even be happening.'
The Doctor's scowl darkened. There was one thing a Time Lord couldn't get around, and that was paradoxes - the Master might've managed it, but Martha knew the last thing he would ever do was copycat him.
'Let's go,' said the Doctor suddenly; at Jack and Martha's inquisitive looks, he lifted his eyebrows meaningfully. 'He's gone, and they,' with a broad, sweeping gesture, 'can't see us. We should go do what we're here to do and then get out before Jack fucks up the timeline any further.' Before either of them could protest, he was stalking down the hall; Martha turned to Jack with an arched brow, and he just snickered.
Jealous? he mouthed.
Martha grinned wickedly. Oh yeah, she mouthed back, and they shared a laugh before taking off after the Doctor. It wasn't that it didn't still hurt, but it was nice sometimes to have someone with whom to commiserate. Besides, better him than her - she had a nice boyfriend finally, one who actually noticed her, and if the Doctor was mooning over Jack then at least she had incentive not to fall for him again. Or at least, not as hard as she had before.
'Jack!'
Jack stopped so suddenly that Martha smacked into him. She turned her head to see that man approaching, followed by another who looked, if possible, even more American than the first; where the first was neat, tidy, a bit twitchy and uptight, and reminded her somewhat of some of her classmates at medical school, this one was laid back, casual, and turning on the boyish charm full blast as he sauntered down the hall and clapped Jack on the shoulder. In fact, he rather reminded her of Jack, although, if possible, with an even larger ego.
'Josh!' It was a gamble, but when the man just grinned wider, Martha saw the hint of tension in Jack's shoulders relax.
'What the hell are you doing here? Sam said he'd bumped into you - I assume he meant literally - but I thought he was just pulling my leg.'
'Nope!' Jack turned his megawatt grin on the slighter man - Sam, apparently - and winked at him.
Sam blushed.
'That's Jack?'
Martha jumped, and turned to see a willowy blonde with big blue eyes watching the three men with failed surreptitiousness. 'Sorry?'
'Donna Moss,' said the girl. 'I asked if that was the famous Jack that Josh and Sam keep talking about when they think nobody's listening.'
'I suppose it must be,' Martha replied with a shrug. 'Martha Jones.'
'Hi,' said Donna, though her eyes never left Josh's face. Martha'd seen that look before, had felt it on her own face in fact, and she sighed, patting Donna on the shoulder. When Donna looked at her in surprise, Martha gave her the eyebrows, and after a moment, Donna sighed too.
'He makes Josh jumpy,' she said instead of admitting anything, turning back to watch them as they chatted with seeming amicability. 'He's being especially jovial, which means he's nervous.'
'The other one - Sam?' Donna nodded. 'Is more than making up for it. He looks like he's about to--'
'--pass out?' Donna grinned, looking at Martha out of the corner of her eye. 'That's just Sam though. So excitable. Josh says he was even worse when they first met. But it's part of what makes him such a great speechwriter.'
'Ah,' Martha said as if she understood, though she really didn't.
'--swept New Hampshire, of course,' Josh was saying, proud grin in place.
'Of course,' Jack replied, grinning just as widely. 'What was the final...'
'303-235,' Sam answered, adjusting his glasses again. 'And 48 percent of the popular vote. It was close, but the President pulled through in the end.'
'I knew he would,' Jack replied, patting Sam on the shoulder, grin widening a bit as Sam's blush darkened. Martha had to hand it to him - for someone who had no idea what had happened between the three of them, he was doing a remarkable job of faking it.
'It's a good thing he came along when he did though,' Donna said, and Martha eyed her, noting the wistful look buried in her eyes. 'They were impossible before then.'
'What happened?'
Donna flushed a bit, eyes shuttering. 'I shouldn't really talk about it,' she said. 'Josh wouldn't like it if I...'
'Oh, go on,' said Martha, smiling encouragingly. 'I'm not going to tell. I'm only here for the day anyway.'
Donna blinked at her in surprise. 'You don't work here?'
Bugger. 'No,' she said, thinking fast. 'I'm the aide to the...ambassador for sociocultural affairs. He has a meeting with the President today.'
'Shouldn't you be in there with him?' Donna was looking a bit suspicious now.
'No. He's uh...well, he's a bit eccentric,' Martha said as if imparting a great secret, lowering her voice and looking around shiftily. 'He doesn't like to do anything the orthodox sort of way.'
'Ah.' Donna nodded, understanding smile in place. 'The political ambassador is like that too.' She bit her lip then, inching closer to Martha as her expression turned fearful. 'He's not...prone to sexual advances on strangers, is he?'
Martha almost snorted. 'No,' she assured Donna without hesitation. 'He most definitely is not.'
Donna relaxed visibly. 'Good,' she said. 'I don't much like the other British ambassador, even if he does have the hardest political position in the world as of now. Your last Prime Minister was a nutjob, wasn't he?'
Martha grimaced. 'You have no idea.'
Donna gave her a sympathetic smile. 'I pity you, having had to work with him, and now with the political Ambassador...'
'Oh,' said Martha, 'we don't actually...you know. We're a separate office.'
'Ah. So like the President and the Vice President. Don't even work in the same building, and all that.'
'Pretty much!' Martha agreed, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. Donna smiled at her for a moment more, then turned back to watch the conversation, as Martha looked around for any sign of the Doctor. He seemed to have disappeared, but then, he was prone to do that anyway, and she wasn't about to go looking for him - she was pretty sure she'd just get lost, and then she'd be stuck here. She'd already lived through 2008 twice, and she didn't especially want to do it again.
'How's Jack connected to that then?' Donna asked. 'He doesn't sound British.'
Martha just managed to catch a wince. 'He's not,' she said, casting about for ideas. 'He's the D--the Ambassador's...they're old friends. They don't see each other much, so when Jack heard he was in town...'
'Isn't he jealous?'
Martha blinked, looking at Donna, who had a knowing expression on her face. '...jealous?'
'You were going to say something other than "old friends".' Donna raised a brow. 'It's not like it's a big deal, really. I mean, I know it's kind of frowned upon in politics, but it happens, and people in the same office just sort of turn a blind eye. So long as it's not made public, because that could ruin a career, but really, if he's the Ambassador, he shouldn't have anything to worry about, right?'
'Come again?'
Donna sighed. 'Look,' she said. 'You seem like a smart woman. I might not look it, but I'm pretty smart too. You don't have to play dumb, firstly because it's not necessary, and secondly because it won't work, not around here. So when you say "old friends" but actually mean something far less innocuous, we both know what you're talking about. So I return to my question. Isn't he jealous?'
'Um. Yes, I suppose he is,' Martha answered slowly, hesitant to even reveal that much. 'Not that he's one to show it, really. Or to show most emotions, for that matter. He's...'
'...not good at noticing things,' Donna finished for her. 'And even worse at expressing them.'
'Exactly.'
Donna smiled, though there was a sad cast to it. 'Josh is the same,' she said. 'And Sam is...well, he's sweet, but he's the most awkward person I've ever met, and that includes my highschool boyfriends. So it's not really surprising that they danced around it forever without even noticing it themselves. It was obvious to the rest of us, but...'
'Hang on.' The pieces were starting to come together. 'So Jack...'
'Catalyst,' Donna said, nodding. 'About six months ago. We were running the campaign, Josh actually recruited Sam away from a six-figure income to come campaign with us, but they were both having a hard time concentrating and didn't have any idea why. CJ - she's Press Secretary - tried dropping hints, and even Leo - Chief of Staff, and Josh's boss - all but bashed their heads together, but they're so thick that--'
Donna caught herself, lowering her voice. 'Sorry.'
''S fine,' Martha replied, waving her on.
'They're so thick,' Donna continued, 'that they just had no clue. At all. Then we were in...South Carolina, about as conservative as you can get, and Jack showed up while Josh and Sam were out discussing...whatever they discuss whenever they go out to a bar together. And one thing led to another and they all ended up in bed together.'
'No.' Martha was gaping in shock, though really, considering Jack, that wasn't all that surprising. Though since Jack hadn't done it yet, she figured maybe she should mention it to him.
Or maybe not.
Bloody paradoxes.
'Yep.' Donna gave Martha a grim smile. 'And then apparently he just...vanished. And things were a bit tense for awhile, and Josh and Sam avoided each other, but eventually they just...got over it. And they started thinking a lot more clearly, and the campaign got better, and then...we won.' She shrugged. 'And they haven't stopped since, far as I know.'
'How do you know all this?' Martha stared at Donna in horrified fascination. She was being so matter-of-fact about it, when Martha knew she couldn't've been feeling that way, not if how she felt about Josh was as close to how Martha felt once about the Doctor as she thought it was.
Donna shrugged again, eyes fixed on Josh as she spoke. 'Heard them talking about it once,' she admitted. 'Not...that...I was eavesdropping, or anything, but...I don't go home until Josh goes home, most nights, and he was working late, and Sam dropped by to see him, and they were just...talking, and somehow the conversation went that direction, though they didn't mention a name. I just assumed it was a girl.'
Martha saw how Donna's face twisted a bit at that, and she understood. She'd always been horribly jealous of Rose, but Jack hadn't ever inspired the same brand of jealousy. There was something about knowing your rival was of the opposite sex - in some ways, it was more insulting, as Tish would no doubt insist, but Martha was rather more open-minded than that, and she found it made things easier. At least Jack had things she could never give the Doctor.
'So how did you find out about Jack then?'
'Oh, just...the name would come up in conversation sometimes - not his name, just the name - and for awhile at the beginning, Sam would startle, and Josh would kind of give him a sharp look. I figured it out pretty quickly.'
'Oh, I see.' This time, Martha actually did see. After all, it was hard not to pick up on things when you spent every waking hour watching someone without them being aware of it.
'They're pretty discreet, on the whole,' said Donna, 'but when you're someone's shadow...'
'Yeah, I get it.' Martha gave her a wry smile, and Donna smiled back. Martha studied her face for a moment, tempted to tell her what her friend had said about not wasting her life pining but just walking away while she could, but she knew it wouldn't do any good, not now. Donna wasn't ready to hear it - that much was clear from the stars in her eyes. Instead, she followed Donna's gaze back to the small group, which was making some sort of motion toward the door. Josh broke away from the group, sauntering over to Donna and giving her a crooked grin; Martha stepped aside, and Josh didn't even notice her.
'Hey, Donna, I need you to do me a favour. Cancel my appointments for the rest of the day? Something came up that I need to take care of.'
Martha watched as Donna arrested an eyeroll, and just nodded, pasting a smile on her face. 'Sure thing, Josh. Are you coming back tonight?'
'...Naw....' Josh said, thoughtful, drawing the word out. 'Naw, I'll just come in early tomorrow to catch up a bit.' He cleared his throat. 'You don't have to, if you don't w--'
'I'll be here.' Donna's voice was firm despite the sunny (albeit fake) smile, and Martha winced. Smitten.
'Kay.' Josh smiled again, then ran a hand through his hair. 'I'll just....' He chucked his thumb over his shoulder, and Donna nodded, smile widening and eyebrows going up as if to say go on. Josh did, catching up to Sam and Jack and slinging an arm around each of their shoulders; Martha watched the back of Sam's neck turn bright red, and stifled a snort as Jack turned his head a bit and gave Martha a surreptitious thumbs up.
'Who's that?'
Martha jumped, turning to look at the tall redhead who'd just arrived next to them, a calculating look on her face.
'Oh, hey, Margaret.' Donna's smile was genuine now, tinged with that same wistfulness. 'That was Jack.'
'The Jack?' Margaret's eyes widened, and Donna nodded.
'The very same.'
'Wow.' Margaret stared openly for awhile, and then, when she caught Martha looking at her, looked away. 'Sorry. Is he your boss?'
Martha did snort this time. 'Hardly,' she said. 'He's just...'
'He's her boss's friend,' said Donna with a meaningful look, and Margaret raised her brows, nodding.
'I see. So which one...'
'The boss.' Donna was almost grinning now, and Martha was bloody glad she was too dark to show a blush.
'Ah. You too, huh? Poor thing.'
Donna chuckled. 'Margaret's...part of the club too, as it were,' she explained. 'I think she's a bit worse off than we are though.'
'Gay?'
'Married,' Margaret answered with a hint of a scowl. 'Happily.'
'Oh.' Martha gave her a sympathetic smile. Then she blinked, brow furrowing. What the hell was she doing participating in office gossip? She hated girl talk more than just about anything, and really had no desire to participate in it. She could when it was necessary, but...
It's all in the name of the mission, she told herself, and was almost able to believe it.
'So what's up, Margaret?' Donna smiled curiously.
'Oh. Well, Leo just...Leo's my boss,' she interrupted herself, and Martha nodded. 'A little while ago, he stormed into the President's office after grumbling something about that "crazy Queensman monopolising the President's valuable time", and he hasn't come back since. I went to check with Mrs Landingham (she's the President's head secretary), and she just smiled at me and said the President had it under control. But they've been in there almost two hours now, and Leo's already missed five appointments.'
Donna blinked at her in obvious surprise, but Martha just shook her head. 'Of course,' she muttered. At the inquisitive looks from the others, she explained, 'That's just...how he is. Once he gets going, there's no stopping him, and quite frankly, most people don't want to.'
Guess he decided this outing was a success then, Martha thought, trying not to imagine the gleeful look on the Doctor's face as he flailed at the new President. She and Jack had already decided there must have been something good that came out of the Master's visit, and it seemed this was it - America was no longer being run by a complete idiot, if his staff was any indication. And they all seemed to look up to him, at least as far as she could tell, which boded well. All that was left now was for the Doctor to finish his fit of hysterics and Jack to finish with his...business, and then they could go.
'Hang on,' she said as the rest of Margaret's words registered. 'Did you say two hours?'
Margaret nodded vigorously. 'I've had to send CJ away twice and Toby five times already. I think he's about to give up and go home.'
'Bugger,' Martha cursed, eloquently, and immune to the surprised-excited look on Margaret's face as she did so. 'And Jack and them...'
Donna shook her head. 'They'll be gone for awhile,' she said, hovering on the i. 'Josh said he wouldn't be back tonight, and he's usually here late every night, which means...'
'...he's serious about this.' Martha sighed, making a face. There was nothing to it then. She knew that there was very little that could stop the Doctor once he got started, and if both the President's Chief of Staff and his secretary weren't able or willing to interfere, then...
She shook her head, silently cursing the Doctor, not to mention her own judgment for agreeing to come with them. 'Come on,' she said, grabbing Donna and Margaret by the wrists. 'No point standing around waiting for them. Let's go find a pub.'
'Ooooh,' Margaret said, eyes shining. 'A "pub"! Sounds exotic! ...By the way,' she added, as Martha began to drag her off, 'that's a neat necklace. Where'd you get it?'
Martha looked down at where Margaret was looking, and blinked in surprise. She'd never taken off the TARDIS key. Sam had seen her, because she'd bumped him, and Josh had ignored her completely, which was what was supposed to happen. So then how...?
Margaret smiled. 'I notice things,' she said, and Donna nodded in agreement.
Well then. Maybe this wasn't going to be such a boring evening after all.
At the very least, it'd be a nice change.
Author's Name: anjenue
Recipient's Name: butterbuns
Fandom: The West Wing
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Ten, Jack, Martha; Sam, Josh, Donna, Margaret
Pairing: Josh/Sam, Josh/Jack/Sam
A/N: This is slightly timeline-altered in order to fit with the latest in Doctor Who (namely, the West Wing timeline has been pushed back ten years).
Martha knew, as soon as they entered the building, that something wasn't quite right.
'They sound...'
'Intelligent?' The Doctor gave Jack a suspicious look, and Jack spread his hands in the age-old sign of what the fuck did I do?
'Why do you assume that I did something?' he asked, sounding huffily defensive, though Martha could see the small smile playing around the corners of his mouth that said maybe I did, maybe I didn't. For someone who'd had several lifetimes of experience to learn to school his features, he was abysmal at it. Or maybe he just didn't care to. The Doctor, after all, could see right through both of them, even though he often chose to ignore it. Probably why Jack never bothered being anything like subtle.
Martha rolled her eyes. Jack caught her looking and gave her a cheeky grin; she just stared at him until he looked away, looking the slightest bit abashed.
'Okay, so maybe I did do something. But I swear, I was not fucking with the time continuum!'
'Was that choice of words deliberate?' The Doctor raised his brows at Jack, who just grinned back and shrugged. Martha didn't miss the slightest hint of jealousy to the Doctor's voice, which was completely irrational as far as she was concerned, but then, the Doctor wasn't very rational when it came to Jack. Nice to know he wasn't without cracks in his façade, after all.
The Doctor eyed Jack for another long moment, with that head-tilt and eyebrow-raise that clearly communicated I'm very disappointed in you, and then said, 'Right then. Let's go see what Jack's done now.'
Jack was uncharacteristically silent as they wound their way through the foyer and down one of the halls. The Doctor seemed to know where he was going, which was unsurprising, considering how often he'd probably been here before (Martha had heard him talk about meeting Abraham Lincoln once, though he might have just been trying to outdo a drunken Jack), but Jack seemed oddly familiar with it too. Martha felt rather like an outsider, even though she'd probably travelled just as much as either of them, relatively speaking - even if that year hadn't technically happened, it still had. That was the weird thing about paradoxes, and it was a good thing she didn't try too hard to think about it because she was pretty sure it would have broken even her brain.
If she'd tried to explain how and why they were here, that would only have made it worse - they'd come back in time to forward in time of when they'd last seen each other, the Doctor saying something about wanting to tie up loose ends and the like (though privately, Martha thought he really just wanted an excuse to see Jack again; she wasn't so sure about herself, but it had been long enough since she'd seen him that she wasn't going to turn down travelling with him again, regardless), and then of course there was the fact that Jack had somehow managed to be sometime in this general timeframe before, but that would have to have happened after the whole event with the Master, which meant between the time the Doctor had left and come back, but then again, Jack had been without the use of his vortex manipulator during that time, which meant he would have to have come here after now but been here before now, and...
Martha was getting dizzy already.
Her train of thought was when a very American-looking and thoroughly engrossed brunet in glasses bumped into her, and then caught her shoulders, apologising profusely as the sheaf of papers he'd been holding scattered all over the floor.
'I'm so sorry,' he said, blushing as he bent to collect the papers. The Doctor gave her a Look - their perception filtres only worked when they didn't draw attention to themselves, after all, and she'd been so caught up in her thoughts that she had walked right into him. Kind of hard to ignore that.
'Sorry,' she mouthed, and then bent to help him. 'It's all right,' she told him with her friendliest smile.
He paused, peering up at her. 'You're not American,' he said, a bit stupidly.
Martha bit her tongue. Great. 'No,' she agreed. 'I'm--'
'How's it going?'
Jack grinned, handing him a messy pile of papers, and the man's eyes widened behind his glasses as he toppled backward onto his arse. 'Jack!' he exclaimed, cheeks flushing a dull puce as he stared at Jack as if he'd seen a ghost. Jack raised his free hand and wiggled his fingers in greeting; Martha looked up at the Doctor just in time to see him roll his eyes in disgust. They both knew by now exactly what that wave meant.
'Jack, what are you...' The man scrambled up to hands and knees, hissing at Jack as if trying to avoid anyone overhearing, which, incidentally, was kind of difficult since they were on the floor in the middle of the hallway surrounded by a mess of papers. 'What are you doing here?'
'I just wanted to see how things were going!' he said cheerfully. 'Congratulations on winning the election, by the way. Not that I had any doubt.'
'Jack is his own bloody paradox,' the Doctor muttered under his breath as Martha straightened and crossed to him, still trying to figure out how this all worked, unwise as it might have been.
The man rumpled his already-rumpled hair, then nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he collected the last of his papers and stood, awkwardly. 'Thanks,' he said, not quite looking at Jack. He cleared his throat, shuffling the papers in his hand, but Jack was still gazing at him intently, and Martha could see the man crumbling beneath the weight of Jack's stare.
'Josh'll want to see you too,' the man said, still flustered. 'I'll go find him, if you want to wait--' He practically fled without waiting for Jack's answer, then returned a second later to grab the handful of papers Jack was still holding. 'Sorry,' he said with a sheepish smile. 'Going. Be back.'
Jack chuckled, and then walked back to where Martha and the Doctor were standing. 'He's cute,' he said in an undertone. 'I wonder if this Josh is just as cute.'
'You don't remember?' The Doctor looked horrified, though at the same time unsurprised.
Jack shrugged. 'I've never met him before. Either of them.'
Martha stared at him. The paradox thickens. 'Then how...?'
'Call it a hunch.' Jack was grinning again, unrepentant. 'He's exactly my type.' He gave the Doctor a meaningful look, but the Doctor just shook his head, sighing.
'Remind me to break your vortex manipulator again,' he muttered, frowning as Jack gave him a serene smile that said he had no intention of doing any such thing.
'Can't,' he replied. 'If you do, then I can't go back in time after this to do whatever I did in the first place that made this meeting possible, in which case this wouldn't even be happening.'
The Doctor's scowl darkened. There was one thing a Time Lord couldn't get around, and that was paradoxes - the Master might've managed it, but Martha knew the last thing he would ever do was copycat him.
'Let's go,' said the Doctor suddenly; at Jack and Martha's inquisitive looks, he lifted his eyebrows meaningfully. 'He's gone, and they,' with a broad, sweeping gesture, 'can't see us. We should go do what we're here to do and then get out before Jack fucks up the timeline any further.' Before either of them could protest, he was stalking down the hall; Martha turned to Jack with an arched brow, and he just snickered.
Jealous? he mouthed.
Martha grinned wickedly. Oh yeah, she mouthed back, and they shared a laugh before taking off after the Doctor. It wasn't that it didn't still hurt, but it was nice sometimes to have someone with whom to commiserate. Besides, better him than her - she had a nice boyfriend finally, one who actually noticed her, and if the Doctor was mooning over Jack then at least she had incentive not to fall for him again. Or at least, not as hard as she had before.
'Jack!'
Jack stopped so suddenly that Martha smacked into him. She turned her head to see that man approaching, followed by another who looked, if possible, even more American than the first; where the first was neat, tidy, a bit twitchy and uptight, and reminded her somewhat of some of her classmates at medical school, this one was laid back, casual, and turning on the boyish charm full blast as he sauntered down the hall and clapped Jack on the shoulder. In fact, he rather reminded her of Jack, although, if possible, with an even larger ego.
'Josh!' It was a gamble, but when the man just grinned wider, Martha saw the hint of tension in Jack's shoulders relax.
'What the hell are you doing here? Sam said he'd bumped into you - I assume he meant literally - but I thought he was just pulling my leg.'
'Nope!' Jack turned his megawatt grin on the slighter man - Sam, apparently - and winked at him.
Sam blushed.
'That's Jack?'
Martha jumped, and turned to see a willowy blonde with big blue eyes watching the three men with failed surreptitiousness. 'Sorry?'
'Donna Moss,' said the girl. 'I asked if that was the famous Jack that Josh and Sam keep talking about when they think nobody's listening.'
'I suppose it must be,' Martha replied with a shrug. 'Martha Jones.'
'Hi,' said Donna, though her eyes never left Josh's face. Martha'd seen that look before, had felt it on her own face in fact, and she sighed, patting Donna on the shoulder. When Donna looked at her in surprise, Martha gave her the eyebrows, and after a moment, Donna sighed too.
'He makes Josh jumpy,' she said instead of admitting anything, turning back to watch them as they chatted with seeming amicability. 'He's being especially jovial, which means he's nervous.'
'The other one - Sam?' Donna nodded. 'Is more than making up for it. He looks like he's about to--'
'--pass out?' Donna grinned, looking at Martha out of the corner of her eye. 'That's just Sam though. So excitable. Josh says he was even worse when they first met. But it's part of what makes him such a great speechwriter.'
'Ah,' Martha said as if she understood, though she really didn't.
'--swept New Hampshire, of course,' Josh was saying, proud grin in place.
'Of course,' Jack replied, grinning just as widely. 'What was the final...'
'303-235,' Sam answered, adjusting his glasses again. 'And 48 percent of the popular vote. It was close, but the President pulled through in the end.'
'I knew he would,' Jack replied, patting Sam on the shoulder, grin widening a bit as Sam's blush darkened. Martha had to hand it to him - for someone who had no idea what had happened between the three of them, he was doing a remarkable job of faking it.
'It's a good thing he came along when he did though,' Donna said, and Martha eyed her, noting the wistful look buried in her eyes. 'They were impossible before then.'
'What happened?'
Donna flushed a bit, eyes shuttering. 'I shouldn't really talk about it,' she said. 'Josh wouldn't like it if I...'
'Oh, go on,' said Martha, smiling encouragingly. 'I'm not going to tell. I'm only here for the day anyway.'
Donna blinked at her in surprise. 'You don't work here?'
Bugger. 'No,' she said, thinking fast. 'I'm the aide to the...ambassador for sociocultural affairs. He has a meeting with the President today.'
'Shouldn't you be in there with him?' Donna was looking a bit suspicious now.
'No. He's uh...well, he's a bit eccentric,' Martha said as if imparting a great secret, lowering her voice and looking around shiftily. 'He doesn't like to do anything the orthodox sort of way.'
'Ah.' Donna nodded, understanding smile in place. 'The political ambassador is like that too.' She bit her lip then, inching closer to Martha as her expression turned fearful. 'He's not...prone to sexual advances on strangers, is he?'
Martha almost snorted. 'No,' she assured Donna without hesitation. 'He most definitely is not.'
Donna relaxed visibly. 'Good,' she said. 'I don't much like the other British ambassador, even if he does have the hardest political position in the world as of now. Your last Prime Minister was a nutjob, wasn't he?'
Martha grimaced. 'You have no idea.'
Donna gave her a sympathetic smile. 'I pity you, having had to work with him, and now with the political Ambassador...'
'Oh,' said Martha, 'we don't actually...you know. We're a separate office.'
'Ah. So like the President and the Vice President. Don't even work in the same building, and all that.'
'Pretty much!' Martha agreed, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. Donna smiled at her for a moment more, then turned back to watch the conversation, as Martha looked around for any sign of the Doctor. He seemed to have disappeared, but then, he was prone to do that anyway, and she wasn't about to go looking for him - she was pretty sure she'd just get lost, and then she'd be stuck here. She'd already lived through 2008 twice, and she didn't especially want to do it again.
'How's Jack connected to that then?' Donna asked. 'He doesn't sound British.'
Martha just managed to catch a wince. 'He's not,' she said, casting about for ideas. 'He's the D--the Ambassador's...they're old friends. They don't see each other much, so when Jack heard he was in town...'
'Isn't he jealous?'
Martha blinked, looking at Donna, who had a knowing expression on her face. '...jealous?'
'You were going to say something other than "old friends".' Donna raised a brow. 'It's not like it's a big deal, really. I mean, I know it's kind of frowned upon in politics, but it happens, and people in the same office just sort of turn a blind eye. So long as it's not made public, because that could ruin a career, but really, if he's the Ambassador, he shouldn't have anything to worry about, right?'
'Come again?'
Donna sighed. 'Look,' she said. 'You seem like a smart woman. I might not look it, but I'm pretty smart too. You don't have to play dumb, firstly because it's not necessary, and secondly because it won't work, not around here. So when you say "old friends" but actually mean something far less innocuous, we both know what you're talking about. So I return to my question. Isn't he jealous?'
'Um. Yes, I suppose he is,' Martha answered slowly, hesitant to even reveal that much. 'Not that he's one to show it, really. Or to show most emotions, for that matter. He's...'
'...not good at noticing things,' Donna finished for her. 'And even worse at expressing them.'
'Exactly.'
Donna smiled, though there was a sad cast to it. 'Josh is the same,' she said. 'And Sam is...well, he's sweet, but he's the most awkward person I've ever met, and that includes my highschool boyfriends. So it's not really surprising that they danced around it forever without even noticing it themselves. It was obvious to the rest of us, but...'
'Hang on.' The pieces were starting to come together. 'So Jack...'
'Catalyst,' Donna said, nodding. 'About six months ago. We were running the campaign, Josh actually recruited Sam away from a six-figure income to come campaign with us, but they were both having a hard time concentrating and didn't have any idea why. CJ - she's Press Secretary - tried dropping hints, and even Leo - Chief of Staff, and Josh's boss - all but bashed their heads together, but they're so thick that--'
Donna caught herself, lowering her voice. 'Sorry.'
''S fine,' Martha replied, waving her on.
'They're so thick,' Donna continued, 'that they just had no clue. At all. Then we were in...South Carolina, about as conservative as you can get, and Jack showed up while Josh and Sam were out discussing...whatever they discuss whenever they go out to a bar together. And one thing led to another and they all ended up in bed together.'
'No.' Martha was gaping in shock, though really, considering Jack, that wasn't all that surprising. Though since Jack hadn't done it yet, she figured maybe she should mention it to him.
Or maybe not.
Bloody paradoxes.
'Yep.' Donna gave Martha a grim smile. 'And then apparently he just...vanished. And things were a bit tense for awhile, and Josh and Sam avoided each other, but eventually they just...got over it. And they started thinking a lot more clearly, and the campaign got better, and then...we won.' She shrugged. 'And they haven't stopped since, far as I know.'
'How do you know all this?' Martha stared at Donna in horrified fascination. She was being so matter-of-fact about it, when Martha knew she couldn't've been feeling that way, not if how she felt about Josh was as close to how Martha felt once about the Doctor as she thought it was.
Donna shrugged again, eyes fixed on Josh as she spoke. 'Heard them talking about it once,' she admitted. 'Not...that...I was eavesdropping, or anything, but...I don't go home until Josh goes home, most nights, and he was working late, and Sam dropped by to see him, and they were just...talking, and somehow the conversation went that direction, though they didn't mention a name. I just assumed it was a girl.'
Martha saw how Donna's face twisted a bit at that, and she understood. She'd always been horribly jealous of Rose, but Jack hadn't ever inspired the same brand of jealousy. There was something about knowing your rival was of the opposite sex - in some ways, it was more insulting, as Tish would no doubt insist, but Martha was rather more open-minded than that, and she found it made things easier. At least Jack had things she could never give the Doctor.
'So how did you find out about Jack then?'
'Oh, just...the name would come up in conversation sometimes - not his name, just the name - and for awhile at the beginning, Sam would startle, and Josh would kind of give him a sharp look. I figured it out pretty quickly.'
'Oh, I see.' This time, Martha actually did see. After all, it was hard not to pick up on things when you spent every waking hour watching someone without them being aware of it.
'They're pretty discreet, on the whole,' said Donna, 'but when you're someone's shadow...'
'Yeah, I get it.' Martha gave her a wry smile, and Donna smiled back. Martha studied her face for a moment, tempted to tell her what her friend had said about not wasting her life pining but just walking away while she could, but she knew it wouldn't do any good, not now. Donna wasn't ready to hear it - that much was clear from the stars in her eyes. Instead, she followed Donna's gaze back to the small group, which was making some sort of motion toward the door. Josh broke away from the group, sauntering over to Donna and giving her a crooked grin; Martha stepped aside, and Josh didn't even notice her.
'Hey, Donna, I need you to do me a favour. Cancel my appointments for the rest of the day? Something came up that I need to take care of.'
Martha watched as Donna arrested an eyeroll, and just nodded, pasting a smile on her face. 'Sure thing, Josh. Are you coming back tonight?'
'...Naw....' Josh said, thoughtful, drawing the word out. 'Naw, I'll just come in early tomorrow to catch up a bit.' He cleared his throat. 'You don't have to, if you don't w--'
'I'll be here.' Donna's voice was firm despite the sunny (albeit fake) smile, and Martha winced. Smitten.
'Kay.' Josh smiled again, then ran a hand through his hair. 'I'll just....' He chucked his thumb over his shoulder, and Donna nodded, smile widening and eyebrows going up as if to say go on. Josh did, catching up to Sam and Jack and slinging an arm around each of their shoulders; Martha watched the back of Sam's neck turn bright red, and stifled a snort as Jack turned his head a bit and gave Martha a surreptitious thumbs up.
'Who's that?'
Martha jumped, turning to look at the tall redhead who'd just arrived next to them, a calculating look on her face.
'Oh, hey, Margaret.' Donna's smile was genuine now, tinged with that same wistfulness. 'That was Jack.'
'The Jack?' Margaret's eyes widened, and Donna nodded.
'The very same.'
'Wow.' Margaret stared openly for awhile, and then, when she caught Martha looking at her, looked away. 'Sorry. Is he your boss?'
Martha did snort this time. 'Hardly,' she said. 'He's just...'
'He's her boss's friend,' said Donna with a meaningful look, and Margaret raised her brows, nodding.
'I see. So which one...'
'The boss.' Donna was almost grinning now, and Martha was bloody glad she was too dark to show a blush.
'Ah. You too, huh? Poor thing.'
Donna chuckled. 'Margaret's...part of the club too, as it were,' she explained. 'I think she's a bit worse off than we are though.'
'Gay?'
'Married,' Margaret answered with a hint of a scowl. 'Happily.'
'Oh.' Martha gave her a sympathetic smile. Then she blinked, brow furrowing. What the hell was she doing participating in office gossip? She hated girl talk more than just about anything, and really had no desire to participate in it. She could when it was necessary, but...
It's all in the name of the mission, she told herself, and was almost able to believe it.
'So what's up, Margaret?' Donna smiled curiously.
'Oh. Well, Leo just...Leo's my boss,' she interrupted herself, and Martha nodded. 'A little while ago, he stormed into the President's office after grumbling something about that "crazy Queensman monopolising the President's valuable time", and he hasn't come back since. I went to check with Mrs Landingham (she's the President's head secretary), and she just smiled at me and said the President had it under control. But they've been in there almost two hours now, and Leo's already missed five appointments.'
Donna blinked at her in obvious surprise, but Martha just shook her head. 'Of course,' she muttered. At the inquisitive looks from the others, she explained, 'That's just...how he is. Once he gets going, there's no stopping him, and quite frankly, most people don't want to.'
Guess he decided this outing was a success then, Martha thought, trying not to imagine the gleeful look on the Doctor's face as he flailed at the new President. She and Jack had already decided there must have been something good that came out of the Master's visit, and it seemed this was it - America was no longer being run by a complete idiot, if his staff was any indication. And they all seemed to look up to him, at least as far as she could tell, which boded well. All that was left now was for the Doctor to finish his fit of hysterics and Jack to finish with his...business, and then they could go.
'Hang on,' she said as the rest of Margaret's words registered. 'Did you say two hours?'
Margaret nodded vigorously. 'I've had to send CJ away twice and Toby five times already. I think he's about to give up and go home.'
'Bugger,' Martha cursed, eloquently, and immune to the surprised-excited look on Margaret's face as she did so. 'And Jack and them...'
Donna shook her head. 'They'll be gone for awhile,' she said, hovering on the i. 'Josh said he wouldn't be back tonight, and he's usually here late every night, which means...'
'...he's serious about this.' Martha sighed, making a face. There was nothing to it then. She knew that there was very little that could stop the Doctor once he got started, and if both the President's Chief of Staff and his secretary weren't able or willing to interfere, then...
She shook her head, silently cursing the Doctor, not to mention her own judgment for agreeing to come with them. 'Come on,' she said, grabbing Donna and Margaret by the wrists. 'No point standing around waiting for them. Let's go find a pub.'
'Ooooh,' Margaret said, eyes shining. 'A "pub"! Sounds exotic! ...By the way,' she added, as Martha began to drag her off, 'that's a neat necklace. Where'd you get it?'
Martha looked down at where Margaret was looking, and blinked in surprise. She'd never taken off the TARDIS key. Sam had seen her, because she'd bumped him, and Josh had ignored her completely, which was what was supposed to happen. So then how...?
Margaret smiled. 'I notice things,' she said, and Donna nodded in agreement.
Well then. Maybe this wasn't going to be such a boring evening after all.
At the very least, it'd be a nice change.