PROOF OF MIRACLES
I was looking in the mirror the other morning when the thought hit me that a lot of religions have bible stories about some magically ‘refilling’ miracle. You know the ones I’m talking about. Where there is not enough of something but somehow more spontaneously appears and prolongs the supply well past its expected depletion.
When Jesus’ Mom informed him they were out of wine he miraculously made more by just adding water. The Jews only had enough lamp oil for a night but miraculously it lasted over a week so centuries later Jewish parents could give their kids socks and stale chocolate gold coins for Hanukkah. Even Buddha pulled the miraculous deal-e-o with some firewood. You get the idea. What made me think of this common theme is that apparently I have a miraculous zit.
For about a week now I have tried to make this zit on my cheek go away. I poke it, prod it and pop it. I drain it, exfoliate it and holistically coat it with anise yet every time I look in the mirror I discover it miraculously has refilled itself back into full-blown whitehead status. Ugghhhh!
This thing should have only lasted a day after I busted the daylights out of it the first night but (cue the angelic sound effects) ‘Aaaaaaa Aaaaa” it just keeps filling back up no matter what I do. Years ago I used to kid around that the human body had a pus layer just below the skin that would lay in wait for any chance to get out of your body. Whenever a breach like a zit or wound appeared on the skin, all the pus would race towards the escape route like water pushing through a crack in a dam. Could that be what’s happening here?
Does this zit know that I am almost 50 years old? Isn’t there some law that says when you hit 40 years old your done with pimples. I mean come-on, male pattern baldness, wrinkles AND acne. That’s not fair. I’ve had old High School friends die, I’m supposed to get periodic colonoscapy exams and I get junk mail from AARP. I should not still have acne. Who do I call to complain about this? I wish a plague upon my miraculous eternal zit. As long as it’s not boils, that plague would only exasperate the issue.
When Jesus’ Mom informed him they were out of wine he miraculously made more by just adding water. The Jews only had enough lamp oil for a night but miraculously it lasted over a week so centuries later Jewish parents could give their kids socks and stale chocolate gold coins for Hanukkah. Even Buddha pulled the miraculous deal-e-o with some firewood. You get the idea. What made me think of this common theme is that apparently I have a miraculous zit.
For about a week now I have tried to make this zit on my cheek go away. I poke it, prod it and pop it. I drain it, exfoliate it and holistically coat it with anise yet every time I look in the mirror I discover it miraculously has refilled itself back into full-blown whitehead status. Ugghhhh!
This thing should have only lasted a day after I busted the daylights out of it the first night but (cue the angelic sound effects) ‘Aaaaaaa Aaaaa” it just keeps filling back up no matter what I do. Years ago I used to kid around that the human body had a pus layer just below the skin that would lay in wait for any chance to get out of your body. Whenever a breach like a zit or wound appeared on the skin, all the pus would race towards the escape route like water pushing through a crack in a dam. Could that be what’s happening here?
Does this zit know that I am almost 50 years old? Isn’t there some law that says when you hit 40 years old your done with pimples. I mean come-on, male pattern baldness, wrinkles AND acne. That’s not fair. I’ve had old High School friends die, I’m supposed to get periodic colonoscapy exams and I get junk mail from AARP. I should not still have acne. Who do I call to complain about this? I wish a plague upon my miraculous eternal zit. As long as it’s not boils, that plague would only exasperate the issue.