Dearest emily
Dearest Emily,
I'm so very sorry for the lateness in this note. I had postcards and cute stationary I was going to use. I was waiting for the actual start of something that is no longer happening. I was hoping to move into a house with my boyfriend of six years and start a life there. With the current election and the fact he directly contributed to it with no thoughts of anyone else, including me, all of it has left me bewildered and heartbroken. To the point he was actually mad at me for being upset and having feelings about the state of the world. How can I feel safe and loved in a relationship where I can't even express feelings without being yelled at or verbally attacked? My grandpa gave me good advice before he died ...granted it was about my ex at the time but it still holds.. he said “don't marry him“. I think about those words a lot and the reasons at the time and how they resonate with the current times. I deserve better. Women everywhere deserve better.
I'm currently on a tour but when I get home next week I'll realistically be packing and looking for new options to start my life again. Your gift will help in immeasurable ways. In a very real life saving capacity. I know my family would help in whatever way they can, but I've always tried to hold my own and will continue to do so until I absolutely can't anymore. Hopefully one day I can have a real home of my own. I don't particularly see it happening anytime soon. But I'll always have hope.
You've always been such a special person in my life whether you knew or not. From a young age I've always looked up to the love you and my mom hold for each other. I try to apply the same love to my cherished friendships. It's so important to have a person like you in life.
I wrote this about my best friend but I think it also applies to you because I know you'd be there for me in this way if I needed it and I know you and my mom have this.
My best friend, who's across the country, always tells me she loves me when I rant and freak out about issues she can't do anything about. She tells me her point of view on situations when I can't see clear. Gives her honest opinions on decision making. Sends me memes and animal pictures/videos. Tells me all the tea at her job and in her life and listens to mine. Reminds me of inside jokes that I've forgotten about. When we're together there's an indescribable feeling that no matter what we'll be okay as long as we're together. Even when it's raining shit on both of us, we know we have each other to do these things mostly without judgement. Even with minor judgements we give details and explanations on why we think it's a bad idea/wrong and offer solutions so whatever it is wont happen again. We've also been bff for almost 20 years now. Which unfortunatly most people don't have that blessing. But I feel so lucky that I do.
From the depths of my heart and soul, thank you so much! Again I'm so sorry it was delayed.
With all the love in my heart,
Viva Sigal Sahar
