Sticking to my guns
Dear Tae-sung,
The feelings of a year ago and years built up before that haven't really gone away it seems.
I'm working now, but I feel as useless as ever. I'm doing some of what I dislike most, which seems to be human interaction in general for the most part. It feels like I get no respect really. I'm to blame too but it's frustrating. Did I ever mention I hate being surrounded by too many people? Well, it happens daily. I feel my anxiety building and its hard to take sometimes. I'd have to change my whole personality really to be able to do as they like. Its a job though right? I want to leave really badly at times but I need to find another job first. One that pays the same or better that won't drive me crazy like this one. Because really... I can be a receptionist, get payed more and not have the anxiety I have here. And I could wear my contacts too without getting my eyes irritated.
I say all that but I have to get that job right? If I can't last even 6 months, that can't look good right? So I'm sticking to this for as long as I can. If I'm fired, fuck it, but I can't give up on my own just yet.
I'm tired. Good night.
Dvious
The feelings of a year ago and years built up before that haven't really gone away it seems.
I'm working now, but I feel as useless as ever. I'm doing some of what I dislike most, which seems to be human interaction in general for the most part. It feels like I get no respect really. I'm to blame too but it's frustrating. Did I ever mention I hate being surrounded by too many people? Well, it happens daily. I feel my anxiety building and its hard to take sometimes. I'd have to change my whole personality really to be able to do as they like. Its a job though right? I want to leave really badly at times but I need to find another job first. One that pays the same or better that won't drive me crazy like this one. Because really... I can be a receptionist, get payed more and not have the anxiety I have here. And I could wear my contacts too without getting my eyes irritated.
I say all that but I have to get that job right? If I can't last even 6 months, that can't look good right? So I'm sticking to this for as long as I can. If I'm fired, fuck it, but I can't give up on my own just yet.
I'm tired. Good night.
Dvious