'Shall Not Fade' by hils, commentary by danceswithgary

[danceswithgary]

Title: Shall Not Fade
Author: hils
Fandom: Smallville
Commentator: danceswithgary



I enjoyed snarking at Lois in this fic, she just made me angry the way she treated Clark. She was written to be consistent with S4 Lois characterization, so it was believable for me. My comments reflect what I was thinking as I read the fic, just as if I was yelling at the screen. :-D

Clark had always imagined that his life would be simpler when he grew up. He'd have a job, maybe a girl. He'd visit his mother every weekend so she could feed him up, and they could talk about what they'd been doing all week. Never once did he imagine he'd be longing for the days when his biggest problem was some sort of teenage meteor mutant.

Poor Clark, not very ambitious, is he?

Now he had two jobs, both seemed to involve keeping Lois out of trouble and one of involved frequent battles with his former best friend. So much for the simple life.

"Hey, Smallville," Lois said as she plonked herself down on the edge of his desk. Clark knew the twinkle in her eye and the teasing tone in her voice did not bode well. "Guess who left another message for you?"

Clark wasn't going to groan, and he certainly wasn't going to let Lois see how much this was bothering him. "My mom?"

"Only if your mom is male, bald, and owns half of Metropolis."

Clark tried to keep his face neutral. The messages were becoming more frequent now. "What did Lex say this time?"

Gee, he figured out who it was! I guess he's not too stupid in this one.

Lois shrugged. "Same as always. He wants to have lunch, catch up, repair the friendship, blah, blah, blah. Look, why don't you just go? Maybe try and get an interview out of him. Having you as my partner has to be useful for something and God knows I'm sick of acting as your PA."

He'd thought about going. He wanted to believe that something had happened to change Lex, but considering just a few nights ago he'd stopped Lex from developing yet another weapon, he knew it was pointless. Lex was never going to change, and if Clark met him for lunch, he'd just be subjected to yet more lies and he was tired of it.

Right, and Clark never lies right back.

"Come on, Lois. You know as well as I do that Lex always has some ulterior motive for his actions. Neither of us has been exactly complimentary about him in our articles. What possible reason would he have to try and patch things up?"

Lois pounded the desk. "Exactly! Doesn't the reporter in you want to find out what he's up to?"

"No."

It was a lie and they both knew it. Clark actively sought to investigate anything which he thought might have a connection to Lex. Some might call it an obsession, but Clark always said that it was his duty to protect the people of Metropolis from the lies and manipulations of Lex Luthor. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive Lex for the years of lies he'd been subject to, and for a while, it seemed that Lex didn't care about being forgiven. Then the phone calls started.

So, something did change, at least for Lex. Go for it, Clark!

"Look," Lois said, breaking into his thoughts. "No one is asking you to marry the guy. Darn! Just have lunch, listen to what he has to say and see if you can get an interview. You never have to see him again after that."

Lois really isn't a very nice person, trying to make Clark do something he's uncomfortable with.

Except every night, when Superman foils one of his plans.

He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Lois. I can't."

Clark almost dropped his briefcase as he fumbled for the phone ringing in his jacket pocket. He frowned as `number not known' flashed on the display and then he answered it.

"Clark Kent speaking."

"Hello, Clark."

He froze mid-stride in the lobby of The Planet.

"Lex?" he hissed with a low voice, trying to shield the phone from the people bustling past him. A building full of reporters was the worst place to be having a private conversation with one of the most infamous men in Metropolis. "How did you get this number?"

"I'm a resourceful man, Clark. You should know that better than anyone. But if I were you, I'd be careful who you give this number to. Evidently, it can be bought for the price of an hour long interview."

Lois.

See, I said she wasn't nice!

Clark had to keep himself rooted where he was or else he was in serious danger of giving Lois a first-hand demonstration of his powers.

Go for it, Clark! She deserves it!

"I've got nothing to say to you, Lex, and I'm changing this number tomorrow. Enjoy your interview. I'll be sure to give Lois some suitable questions to ask you."

"Clark, wait, please."

Clark felt his finger hovering above the disconnect button. There was something different about Lex's voice. He sounded almost desperate, and desperation was definitely an un-Luthorlike trait. He sighed.

"Lex, I really don't think either of us has anything to say that's going to fix this. I'm sorry."

He was surprised to find that he really was. Despite everything, he occasionally found himself looking fondly back on the days when he and Lex had been best friends. He'd even thought at one point that their friendship was going to lead to something more, but it never did. Too much had happened between them and too many lies had been told. He was sure there would be no going back now.

"Just have lunch with me tomorrow," Lex asked in a soft voice that almost took Clark back to that time in Smallville. "Listen to what I have to say, and if you don't want to see me again after that, I swear I'll never contact you again."

Clark doubted very much that Lex would give up that easily, but he was doubly sure that Lex would continue to pester him until he at least agreed to a meeting.

"Fine, but I'm not coming to LuthorCorp. We meet somewhere neutral."

Lex hasn't lost it. He can still radiate enough charisma that Clark can feel it through the phone.

"I'll get us a table at The Lutce."

Trust Lex to choose the most expensive restaurant in Metropolis. Clark remembered the days when coffee and pie at The Talon suited him just fine.

Of course, it'll be fancy. He's wooing Clark. And the Talon's hours away.

"I'll see you there."

Only after he'd hung up did he notice that his hands were shaking.

Clark scowled at himself in the mirror and his reflection scowled back. This was the third time he'd changed his clothes, and with each time he got more annoyed at himself for caring what Lex thought in the first place.

Clark, actually worried about his clothes! Funny!

"Just walk out the door," he told himself and scowled again when his feet refused to move. He was already going to be late and, despite several attempts to convince himself that he didn't care about keeping Lex waiting, his heart fluttered nervously in his chest.

He adjusted his glasses and smiled, still unable to believe that this, a slightly different hairstyle and a stupid costume, kept his identity as Superman hidden. It was laughable really, but it gave him at least some semblance of a normal life and that suited him fine.

Does he really think he's fooling Lex? Hmmm, I wonder.

He put his coat on and cast one final look in the mirror. He'd finally opted for his best suit, the one he saved for his most important interviews. Lois had practically dragged him to a tailor, insisting he own at least one fitted suit and saying she refused to be labeled as the reporter with the scruffy, hick partner. It had cost him almost half a month's wages; but from the way Lois looked at him when he wore it, he knew it had been worth it. It was the only time she'd ever actually noticed him when he wasn't dressed as Superman.

So he's going for handsome, not dorky. Right, he's not at all interested in Lex.

Clark still found it faintly amusing that Lois barely noticed Clark when they were at work, but as soon as he changed into the blue and red outfit she melted into a puddle.

His phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Do you want to save me the embarrassment of sitting here alone for an hour and tell me you're not coming? Or is this part of the fun for you?"

Poor Lex. He's not used to being stood up, is he?

Clark groaned. "Lex, I'm sorry. I got caught up at work. I'm on my way. I'll be there in a couple of minutes.

He could hear the resigned sigh on the other end of the phone. "Alright."

He hung up and, with no further glances in the mirror, he rushed out of the door to his apartment. Sometimes superspeed was a very useful thing to have.

Coming to a stop in the alleyway next to the restaurant, Clark attempted to straighten his tie and flatten his hair. So much for his attempts to look good for Lex. He turned the corner and walked into the restaurant. Apparently not even needing to give his name, he was immediately shown to Lex's table.

I love how Clark is unable to control his hair, while Superman can.

Lex greeted him with a warm and genuine smile, any annoyance at Clark's lateness apparently gone.

He's obviously thrilled Clark showed up at all!

"Sorry I'm late," Clark said as he took a seat.

"Don't be," Lex replied. "I'm amazed you showed up at all, actually. I hope you still like steak. I took the liberty of ordering for you while I waited."

Clark couldn't stop the smile from blossoming on his face. Despite all their years apart, Lex still remembered what his favorite dish was.

Awww.

"What is it you wanted to say to me, Lex? Why the sudden urge to get back in touch?"

Lex stared at him for a moment, and Clark almost felt the urge to shift in his seat. He couldn't remember Lex looking at him this intensely before, almost as if Lex had the x-ray vision and could see inside him.

"I miss you, Clark. I miss our friendship. I want to know if there's any way we can get back what we had when we were in Smallville."

Lex said it as if it was the most simple thing in the world, that there weren't years that had gone by where they had barely spoken. Clark began to wonder if Lex was having another breakdown of some kind.

Sure, Lex wants to be friends, obviously a psychotic break. Check the scotch.

"Lex, we hate each other," he reminded him.

Really, Clark hates Lex? Right, you always worry about what to wear when you meet an enemy. Repressing much, Clark?

Lex shook his head. "I never hated you, Clark. I was disappointed and frustrated that there were obviously things you weren't telling me, but I never hated you. Now I've realized I don't care if you have secrets. I've got plenty of my own that I have no desire to share with anyone."

Clark sighed. "That's how we came to be in this position in the first place. It's okay to have secrets, sure, but the ones you have put people in danger."

He still remembered that night. He found out that Lex had allowed dangerous criminals to escape from Belle Reve, had put Lana and his parents in danger, all so he could put Clark through some sort of test. That was the night their friendship had truly ended, and had left both of them bleeding in the mansion.

"I know," Lex replied. "That's why I'm going to change that. I don't expect you to believe me, but I will prove it to you by giving you and Lois full access to all of my facilities. Every room, every report, every file will be open to you. I don't want anything like this to come between us again, Clark."

That's a pretty damn impressive gesture. Clark should be wondering what Lex really wants from him.

Clark studied Lex intently for a moment. He'd spent long enough around him that he instinctively knew when Lex was lying. There seemed to be no trace of that now. Lex was actually serious about this, and it both moved and scared Clark at the same time.

"All right," he conceded. "But you have to promise me one thing. I want you to stop any projects that have anything to do with hurting Superman. I know you don't see it, but Superman is good for this city. He helps people."

Lex promised to stop the projects that put people in danger. Superman is obviously not a person. Ouch.

Lex took a careful sip of his wine. "Clark, I know you and Superman have some sort of friendship and that he and Lois have a twisted flirtation going on, but you can't trust him. He might help people now, but how long do you think that will last? Honestly, if you had the sort of power that he does, wouldn't there be the temptation for you to abuse it?"

"No."

Lex raised an eyebrow at him, and Clark felt his face flush red. "Ok, maybe I'd be tempted but I wouldn't do it and neither would Superman."

"You can't know that, Clark. And you're nave if you think people like Superman don't have their own agenda. One day he'll just wake up and decide that humans are weak and not worthy of his protection. I'm sorry, but if something like that happens, I want to give humanity a fighting chance."

Clark sat rigid in his seat. He knew Lex had a deep-rooted hatred of Superman, but whenever they met, their conversations involved mostly yelling while Clark dismantled yet another one of Lex's labs. Lex never explained where the hatred had come from, and hearing it laid out like this, with Lex actually thinking he was protecting people, cut deep.

At least he knows why, now. Knowing the problem is half the battle, right? And yes, it does look like the costume, glasses and hair are doing the job.

"You're wrong about him, Lex," Clark said softly, "I know you are."

Lex gave Clark a gentle smile and poured him another drink. "I wish I could put as much faith in him as you do."

Clark returned the smile. "Maybe one day you will."

"So, how was your date?" Lois asked with a grin as soon as Clark walked through the door. He ignored her and sat down at his desk, his mind still whirling with thoughts about his meeting with Lex.

"Smallville?" Lois prodded when Clark didn't respond. "You in there?"

He turned to face her, annoyance blazing in his eyes. "Why don't you offer to sell my number to Osama Bin Laden and see if you can get an interview out of him too?"

She probably did, but Osama didn't want it. *stabs Lois*

He didn't know why he was so angry really. The lunch with Lex had gone quite well, all things considered. At least they were on speaking terms now. Still, it could so easily have gone badly.

"Hey look, I said I was sorry. Come on, he just wanted to have lunch with an old friend. Who am I to stand in the way?"

"Who are you to stand in the way of anything if it gets you something you want?"

Yes, Clark finds his missing balls!

As soon as the words left his mouth, Clark regretted them. Lois wasn't a bad person, and he was sure she hadn't intended anything malicious when she'd given Lex his number. It was just typical of her to forget that he had feelings and see beyond getting a story.

And...then immediately stuffs them in the bottom drawer of his desk to gather lint...

"Look, I'm sorry," he said when Lois fell silent. "Seeing Lex again was just...I dunno. A bit weird I guess."

"How did it go?" Lois asked, more gently than Clark had ever known her to before. Wow, she must feel really bad about this.

Or she realizes she might miss a chance at Lex if she doesn't suck up. *stabs Lois again*

"He wants us to be friends again. He even promised to stop all his less reputable projects as proof of how serious he is."

Lois raised an eyebrow. "And you believe him?"

Clark shrugged. "He's going to give us full security clearance so we can look around his facilities. He seemed genuine when I spoke to him."

"But..." Lois prompted.

"It's Lex," Clark sighed. "I want to believe him but I'm not sure I can. If he wanted to find a way to hide anything, I'm sure he could."

Lois patted his hand gently. "Clark, if he's stupid enough to hide something, we'll find it. We're the best investigative reporters in Metropolis."

Clark nodded. Right now, if Lex was hiding something, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Because it really would be the end of any chance of reconciliation.

Lex's last chance. Fingers crossed over here.

Hovering above Metropolis, Clark was struck by how beautiful the city looked at night. He relished these moments, allowing himself to just float there and feel at peace. Unfortunately, for him, these moments were rare and far between. Tonight was no exception.

Nice invoking of 'the calm before the storm'

The smell of smoke hit him first and then the sounds of people calling for the fire department enabled him to quickly locate the source of the fire. He swooped down towards the warehouse district near the docks.

A quick scan of the building revealed one person trapped inside, and Clark charged in. The smoke was so thick that he had to use his x-ray vision just to see where he was going, the building was on the verge of collapse. He quickly made his way to the huddled figure in the corner.

"Lex?"

He forgot for a moment that Superman always referred to Lex by his last name. Thankfully, the roaring of the flames had apparently drowned out his voice, and Lex didn't seem to have heard him.

Not wanting to waste any time, Clark wrapped his cape around Lex to protect him from the flames and carried him outside in a burst of speed. The paramedics, who had apparently arrived while Clark was in the building, quickly took Lex from him and loaded him into an ambulance. Clark had to force himself to look away, but despite that, he could still hear Lex's ragged coughing echoing in his ears.

He quickly blew out the flames, leaving little more than a charred frame behind. When he turned back the ambulance was already gone, speeding Lex to the hospital. He thought about following it but knew there was nothing else he could do to help Lex. Clark most likely wouldn't be granted access at this stage, and Superman would only create attention which Lex surely wouldn't want.

"He'll be ok," one of the paramedics said, apparently reading his mind. "He inhaled a lot of smoke, but he should be fine. I'm just glad you got here when you did. You saved his life."

Not for the first time, Clark thought to himself before thanking the paramedic and taking back off into the night sky.

Destiny strikes again!

He always flew home via Lois's apartment. Mostly to check that she hadn't got herself into some sort of trouble, but also because sometimes she would wait on her balcony for him and they would talk.

His talks with Lois when he was in his Superman costume were much less one-sided than when he was Clark. When he was Clark, Lois talked and he listened. When he was Superman, she was actually interested in what he had to say.

Does he realize what he's saying to himself? Why would he want to spend any time with someone like that? He must be desperately lonely.

He smiled as he descended, seeing Lois spot him and hurriedly stub out the cigarette she'd been smoking.

"Good evening, Lois."

He had to smile as she attempted to smooth down her hair and clothes discreetly.

"Hi," she finally said when she'd decided she looked presentable. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"

She shrugged. "I've gone a few days without needing to be rescued so I guess that's a good thing. Do you want to sit down?"

Clark hopped down from the edge of the balcony and pulled Lois's seat out for her, waiting until she was seated and comfortable before sitting down himself.

I love how he's such a gentleman, er gentlealien. Krypton must have charm schools.

"Do you want something to eat?" she asked, the faintest hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Something to drink?"

And he turns Lois into a lady! Another superpower?

"No, thank you."

"So," she asked, lounging back slightly in her seat in an effort to appear casual. "What's happening in our city tonight?"

Clark frowned. They always talked about what he'd been doing when they met up like this and normally it wasn't a problem. But right now he really didn't want to talk about the fact that he'd just saved Lex's life. In fact he didn't want to talk about Lex at all, or think about him for that matter. Unfortunately, he'd taken a vow that whenever he was in the Superman costume he would never lie.

Oh, really? Interesting. What if someone asked him what his secret identity was?

"There was a fire in a warehouse downtown," he said. There, that was the truth without being specific, and Clark hoped that would be the end of it.

Wrong.

Lois immediately had her Dictaphone in her hand, always the on duty reporter.

Aha, the real reason Lois listens instead of talking!

"Was anyone hurt?" she asked. "Do you know what started the fire?"

Clark had to struggle to keep his face neutral. "One man was trapped inside. I managed to get him out before he was seriously injured."

"Who was he? One of the workers?"

And there it was. The question he knew Lois would eventually ask but hoped she wouldn't. There was no way he could evade this one without lying.

"It was Lex Luthor."

Lois's eyes widened ever so slightly and she stared at him for a moment. "Lex Luthor? The Lex Luthor?"

"Yes."

"What was he doing there?"

A good question, and one Clark intended on getting an answer to as soon as he could. There didn't seem to be any evidence to indicate that Lex had been kidnapped, which meant he was there voluntarily. Clark should have known Lex hadn't been sincere in his claims to want to change. What possible lawful reason could he have for being in an old warehouse in the early hours of the morning?

"I'm afraid I don't know," he said, answering both Lois's question and his own.

Lois ducked her head, her cheeks flushed. "Sorry, I know you're not in the habit of questioning the people you save. I'll bet he was up to no good though. I told Clark not to trust him."

She set Clark up with Lex, but tells him not to trust him. She is so bad!

Clark stood up suddenly, really not wanting to talk or think about this any more. "Do you want to fly with me for a while? It's a beautiful night."

Clark, Clark, Clark. She's not worth it.

He smiled when Lois's face lit up. It wasn't often he saw her looking truly happy, and he was pleased he was able to help her get there. For a few moments at least, she was able to forget about being the hardened reporter, and he was able to forget about being the protector of humanity. They were just Lois and Clark.

He wrapped his cape around her to keep her warm and took off into the night.

Flying with Lois at his side Clark found himself thinking again. They had a confusing relationship, for him anyway. For Lois it was simple. She was in love with Superman and that was it.

He wondered if this was what true love really felt like. Not the all engulfing passion that he'd felt with Lana or the raw pain he felt whenever he and Lex fought, but something comfortable. He knew that at the end of each day he could fly to Lois's balcony and she'd be there for him, but he did wonder if she'd still love him without his abilities and the costume he put on. She certainly paid Clark no attention at all, but wasn't that the point of a secret identity?

He just answered his own question. Idiot. Clark's a good guy, and she just doesn't get it.

"You're quiet tonight," Lois observed. "Are you ok?"

Clark smiled and nodded. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

Lois returned the smile. "It's ok. So long as nothing's bothering you."

"I'm fine. But thank you for asking."

They continued the flight in silence, just enjoying each other's company until they finally landed back on Lois's balcony.

"Well, I guess this is goodnight then." There was a hint of sadness in Lois's voice, and for a moment Clark wondered if she was going to ask him to stay and spend the night. Part of him wanted to say yes, and that scared him.

"I'll see you again soon, Lois." He leaned forward ever so slightly, thought about kissing her, then decided against it and pulled back. "Goodnight."

Moving over to the edge of the balcony he looked back over his shoulder. Lois was watching him.

"Don't be too hard on Clark if it turns out you were right about Luthor," he said gently. "He just wants to see some good in an old friend."

Nice try, Clark.

He took off before Lois could answer and flew home, all the way hoping that they were both wrong.

Clark paced outside Lex's hospital room, knowing that once he was inside there would be no turning back. Either Lex would have an explanation for why he was in that warehouse or he wouldn't.

Clark placed his hand on the door, almost pushed it, then let go and resumed pacing.

He thought about just leaving and pretending the whole thing had never happened. But he knew that even if he tried to drop the matter, Lois never would. There was no escape. He had to face this.

They're in the bottom drawer of your desk, just use the lint brush.

With a deep breath he opened the door and stepped inside.

Lex's eyes were closed, his face even more pale than usual and, for a moment, Clark thought he was asleep. He was just starting to consider making a quiet escape when Lex stirred, a smile flickering across his face.

"I wasn't expecting any visitors."

His voice was dry and raspy, and Clark instinctively reached to pour Lex some water. He accepted the cup gratefully.

"I heard about what happened," Clark said as he took a seat beside Lex's bed. "Are you ok?"

Lex nodded. "The doctor says I can leave this afternoon. I suppose I should be grateful that your alien friend found me when he did." He chuckled and then broke into a cough. Clark rose, ready to call a doctor if needed, but Lex shook his head. "I was just thinking, I miss the days when it was you saving my life, Clark. I'd rather be indebted to a friend than an enemy."

Lex is missing something important, isn't he?

Clark frowned and sighed. "Superman isn't your enemy, Lex. You've just made him one in your head."

"That remains to be seen."

"What were you doing in that warehouse in the middle of the night anyway?"

He hadn't intended to blurt it out like that. He wanted to believe he'd changed since he'd left Smallville and grown up a bit. Yet here he was hurling accusations at Lex just like he'd used to.

Great point how easily Clark fell right back into the old habits. Could explain why he can't believe Lex can change -after all, he didn't.

"I was doing just what I promised," Lex said, for some reason not sounding the least bit angry or annoyed. "That warehouse contained files and resources for several projects which I have now closed down. I was destroying my research so that nobody else has the opportunity to use it and unfortunately I miscalculated how flammable the building was. The fire got out of control before I could escape."

Clark studied Lex long and hard. If he was lying then he'd also become a master actor.

"You nearly got yourself killed so you could have your fresh start?" he asked incredulously.

"It wasn't intentional, Clark, I assure you. But I am serious about this."

Clark almost jumped out of his seat when he felt Lex's hand rest upon his. A whole barrage of feelings stirred up inside him which he thought he'd long since buried. He cursed under his breath when he felt his face flush red and quickly pulled his hand away.

Lex smiled and Clark refused to acknowledge that his heart was suddenly beating faster. "I need to get back to work, Lex. I'll talk to you later."

"Thank you for visiting me, Clark. It means a lot."

"No problem."

Clark turned and bolted.

Braaak! Were those feathers I saw flying?

"Destroying files, I believe," Lois said as Clark gave her the edited version of his visit with Lex. "The reason behind it, I don't buy. He's hiding something. I don't know what, but the sooner we get this clearance he's been talking about, the sooner I'll be able to find out. Did you ask him about that, by the way?"

Clark shook his head. "I thought it might be polite to wait until he wasn't lying in a hospital bed."

Lois rolled her eyes. "Clark, we're reporters, we're not supposed to be polite."

Lois' philosophy of life. Clark/Superman, run away!

"Look, Lex is my friend and I know you don't trust him but--"

He was interrupted by his cell ringing in his pocket. Grateful to be spared another lecture from Lois about how manners get you nowhere, he answered it.

"Have dinner with me tonight."

Clark frowned. "Lex?"

"We don't have to go out. I can have some food prepared here if you'd prefer. I just thought we could talk some more. We haven't had a chance to catch up properly yet."

"I don't know, Lex, we're pretty busy here tonight."

Doesn't have the suit on, so he can lie.

He had to fake a wince of pain when Lois elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Apparently, the two of them were conspiring to make sure Clark spent as much time with Lex as possible.

"We can go through some of my files as well, if you like," Lex offered.

There was no getting out of it. Lex wasn't taking no for an answer. Even if he came up with all the excuses in the world, Lois wouldn't let him get away with it.

"Fine, but I can't stay long."

"Great, see you at eight tonight."

"Ok, bye."

Lois grinned at him when he hung up. "Another hot date then, Smallville? Don't forget to ask him about our clearance."

"That's the only reason I'm going."

For once, Clark was glad Lois believed his lies far more easily than Lex ever had.

For once? I think he counts on it.

He deliberately worked late that night so he could go straight to Lex's and not have a repeat of the multiple outfit changes. He still found himself glancing in windows to check if his hair looked ok, but that was something he'd just have to live with. Then, of course, there was a mirror in the elevator and he simply had to straighten his tie and smooth his hair down again.

Poor Clark and his wayward hair.

Lex was waiting for him when he reached the top floor and greeted him with a warm smile.

"You're looking better," Clark observed as Lex showed him inside and took his coat.

"You know me, Clark. I've always been a fast healer."

Lex showed him into the dining room which was, of course, almost the size of Clark's entire apartment.

"Would you like some wine with your meal?" Lex asked, already holding the bottle.

Although Clark couldn't actually get drunk, and he'd tried a couple of times, he found he didn't really care for the taste of alcohol. "Water is fine, thanks."

Lex nodded, poured him a glass and sat down beside him. Moments later, two steaming plates of food were brought out and placed in front of them. Just the smell made Clark's stomach rumble in anticipation, but he remembered to be polite enough to wait for Lex to start eating before diving in himself.

"Lex, this is amazing."

Lex smiled and Clark couldn't help but smile back. This was just like old times, when he used to spend evenings at Lex's mansion. Yet again, he found himself missing the simplicity of those days.

"I'm glad you like the food. It's nice to see you've kept your healthy appetite."

Clark grinned. "It's nice to see you eating something for once. My mom always said you were too thin, and you haven't changed much."

"You have," Lex replied. "Your mother must be very proud of the man you've become."

Interesting comment by Lex - Clark has changed. I wonder what aspect of Clark that Lex perceives as changed?

Clark shrugged. "You know my mom. She'd be proud if I was working as a garbage man."

"How are you enjoying being a reporter?"

"It's not what I imagined doing with my life, but I like it a lot. Although Lois can be hard work sometimes."

Lex chuckled and poured Clark some more water. "I can imagine."

"I don't really want to talk about work tonight, but she made me promise to ask you about our clearance. She doesn't trust you."

Lex's face didn't change as he refilled his wine glass. Either he wasn't surprised or he didn't care. "What do you think, Clark?"

"I want to trust you, but I'm not sure I can yet."

Lex nodded. "I don't expect you to just accept all of this right away. I want to prove to you that I'm serious about this and about our friendship. I've missed you more than I'd care to admit.

"Well, I think nearly setting yourself on fire proves something. Possibly that you're insane."

A flash of humor from Clark, fun!

Lex grinned. "Are you saying my time in Belle Reve didn't prove that to you already?"

Oops...

Clark felt his heart sink. Out of all the mistakes he'd made in his past, abandoning Lex to his father was the one that still plagued him at night occasionally. Lex stood up and squeezed Clark's shoulder. "Sorry, bad joke. I know that time must have been difficult for you."

Clark forced a smile. "I'm just glad you got better."

"Still fully functional, as you can see, my latest brush with death aside. Shall we go into the living room for a while? Or do you have to leave?"

He'd almost forgotten that he'd told Lex he wouldn't be able to stay long. He knew he should go now before things got too relaxed. He already felt a bit weird being so at ease with the man who'd fought with him for years and had made it his mission to destroy Clark's alter ego. Yet, despite his head telling him to leave, the rest of him apparently had other ideas.

He's being pulled into Lex's gravity well. And the little head is thinking, instead of the big head.

"I can stay a bit longer," he said, rising from his seat and following Lex into the living room. He took a seat on the couch while Lex turned on the stereo so that a soft piece of classical music filled the room. Lex then took a seat beside Clark on the couch, lounging back so that his head was resting on the back cushion.

"You look tired," Clark observed. "Do you want me to leave so you can get some rest?"

Lex rolled his head to one side so that he was facing Clark. "No, I like having you here. This is the first time I've felt relaxed in weeks."

Clark smiled and matched Lex's position, lying back so that his head was resting on the back of the couch. There was a large decorative medallion in the middle of the ceiling and, for some reason, he couldn't take his eyes off it.

"Clark, can I ask you something?" Lex asked suddenly, his eyes also fixed on the ceiling.

I love this little piece of avoidance behavior!

"Sure," Clark replied.

"Do you think things will ever be the way they used to? Between us, I mean?"

Clark sighed deeply. He really didn't want to talk about this right now. He was just enjoying spending time with Lex.

"I don't know," he finally admitted. "We've both changed a lot since we left Smallville"

"I know."

"But I'd like to try. I've missed you too, Lex, and I hate fighting with you all the time."

"Well, I wouldn't say not speaking to each other for months fully counts as fighting, but it's not a great deal better."

That was close!

Clark and Lex hadn't fought, that was true, but Lex and Superman had almost daily encounters. Right now, Clark realized that if he and Lex were to have any sort of chance at their friendship, he was going to have to tell him the truth. Lex had sacrificed much of who he was in an effort to make things right with Clark, and it only seemed fair that Clark do the same.

He has changed. He's making mature decisions!

He turned his head so that he was facing Lex. "Lex, I need to tell you something."

Lex turned his head and they both froze. Suddenly aware that their faces were so close, they could feel each other's warm breath.Then Lex closed the small gap between them and placed a soft kiss on Clark's lips. Clark didn't even have time to think, he kissed Lex back, opening his mouth to allow him greater access. As their tongues toyed with each other, Clark couldn't stop the moan rumbling in his throat. Never before had anything felt so wrong and so right at the same time. He wanted more but knew he should stop. Finally, Lex was the one who pulled back.

"I've wanted to do that for so long."

Clark ran a finger across Lex's bruised lips, his brain still stuck on the kiss. "I, uh, had no idea you felt that way about me."

"How do you feel, Clark?"

He lowered his eyes. "I don't know. Lex, we haven't spoken in ages. It's just a bit sudden, I guess."

Lex sighed and closed his eyes. "Please tell me I didn't just ruin all this."

Carefully, Clark reached out and brushed one hand over Lex's face. "Just give me some time, ok?"

Lex smiled. "I think I can do that."

He wanted to kiss Lex again, but instead he forced himself to stand up. "I should go."

Lex rose as well. "Alright. Why don't you and Lois come to LuthorCorp tomorrow? I'll give you a tour and then arrange for your clearance so you can go wherever you like."

"Thanks, Lex."

Lex walked Clark to the door and paused. For a moment, Clark thought he was going to kiss him again, but instead he leaned past and opened the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Clark."

"Night, Lex."

As soon as he was clear of Lex's apartment, Clark changed into his Superman outfit and took to the skies, his mind whirling. How had he let this happen? He'd tried so hard not to let himself feel for Lex what he used to, and now he'd kissed him and made things even more complicated.

One kiss and all his good intentions go flying out the window - literally.

He didn't realise where he was flying to until he spotted Lois's balcony. Deciding this was a bad idea, he was about to leave when he heard her call his name. There was no escape now and he floated down to land.

"Hi," she smiled as he landed. "I wasn't sure I was going to see you tonight."

His feet were moving before he even realised it, and the last thing he saw before he caught Lois in a deep kiss was the look of surprise and shock on her face.

It was different from Lex's kiss, less desperate and more warm. It was the way Clark felt kisses should be, and yet something wasn't quite right. He pulled back, his eyes sad.

"I'm sorry, Lois."

"Sorry? Why? That was amazing. Do you have any idea how long I've wanted you to do that?"

Clark shook his head and took a step back from her. This was wrong. He was toying with her because he couldn't work out how he felt about anything. "I shouldn't have come here."

He took off, her calls for him to come back ringing in his ears.

He'd just made thing ten times worse.

That was so wrong, in so many ways. He really wasn't thinking, was he?

Clark wasn't sure what to expect when he and Lois were ushered into Lex's office the next day. Now that they'd kissed he somehow expected Lex to look different, or at least to act different around him.

But he'd greeted them both warmly, shaken their hands and was now in the process of explaining what they'd be seeing on their tour of LuthorCorp. It was as though nothing had happened between them. Not that he expected Lex to broadcast from the top of the LuthorCorp Tower about how he'd kissed Clark Kent, but he didn't know how Lex could be so cool and professional when all Clark wanted to do right now was kiss him again.

Lois was a different matter entirely. She'd barely spoken all day, muttering something about how she hadn't slept very well the night before. Clark could feel the guilt eating away at him. He'd always told himself that the Superman costume was enabled him to save people freely and now he was using it to work through his personal issues. He still didn't know why he'd kissed Lois, other than to be sure he was making the right decision about Lex. Which, quite frankly, was a lame excuse. Superman was going to have to do some serious groveling and explaining that night. Although he wasn't sure what he was going to say that could fix this. Yet again he wondered how his life had come to be so complicated and messed up.

The comparison of the results of the two kisses, the effect (or lack of effect) on both sides is great.

"If there are any specific files you want to look at," Lex said as he finished his explanation of the tour, "we can come back here afterwards and I'll have them brought up. Would you like any refreshments before we start?"

"No," Lois replied, almost snapping. "Let's just get on with it."

Lex simply smiled as though her tone had been entirely polite. "All right, let's go."

Clark had often wondered why Lex always felt the need to put his secret labs in the basement of the building. It wasn't as though Superman would never find them down there. He did so on a frequent basis and, more recently, it was the first place he looked.

Secret labs=basement. Funny observation.

He had to swallow back a chuckle as they came to a stop outside a door concealed in the shadows on the lowest floor of LuthorCorp.

"Very few people have access to this room," Lex informed them. "And you probably won't approve of what's inside, but I promised Clark the truth about everything I do."

Clark frowned as Lex punched in a series of numbers onto a small keypad, causing the door to swing open. Cautiously he followed Lex and Lois into the room, wary of what he might find inside. He'd barely taken more than a couple of steps when the sickness hit him, causing him to stumble.

Uh-oh. Why didn't Clark peek first? Oh yeah, too busy making snarky observations about basements and secret labs.

"Are you all right, Clark?" Lex asked, not doing a very good job of keeping the concern out of his voice.

Clark forced a smile, although now he could see just how much kryptonite, in various states, was in the room. This was obviously where Lex conducted all his anti-Superman experiments.

"I skipped breakfast this morning," he managed to say weakly. "I'm just feeling a bit light-headed. I guess I should have had those refreshments you offered."

"We can go back if you'd like," Lex offered, placing a hand on Clark's arm to steady him. "This room isn't going anywhere."

"No," Lois replied before Clark could answer. "He'll be fine. Right, Clark?"

She dipped her head and hissed in his ear. "Suck it up, Smallville. You can eat when we're done in here."

*stabs Lois, again*

Clark tried to respond but all that came from his lips was a weak croak. His vision was fading now, his whole body felt on fire. The last thing he saw as he faded into the blissfully painless world of unconsciousness was a frown crossing Lois's face. He thought he heard Lex calling his name too, but he couldn't be sure

When he opened his eyes again, Lois's face was still hovering above him but she wasn't frowning any more. She just stared at him.

Vaguely aware that the pain and sickness were gone, he attempted to sit up. A quick glance showed him that he was back in Lex's office, lying on the couch Lex used for his less formal meetings. He flopped back, still feeling weak.

"Here," Lois said, handing him his glasses. "They fell off when you collapsed."

Clark looked at the glasses in his hands and then back at Lois. She was staring at him again.

Not good.

"Are you mad?" he asked softly. They were past the point where he could lie his way out. All he could do was try and explain and hope she understood.

Lois sighed. "I should be mad. I feel like a world-class idiot, being around you every day and not noticing. Hell, I knew you back in Smallville when you didn't have the glasses and I still didn't work it out. Some investigative journalist I am."

Clark closed his eyes. This wasn't how he anticipated his secret being revealed and he was starting to get a headache. "Sorry."

Lois shrugged. "It's not like I can kick your ass for lying to me or anything."

Clark winced. "Actually, you probably could right now."

Lois raised an eyebrow. "Really not what you should be saying to me right now."

"Sorry." Apparently he couldn't apologize enough.

She shook her head. "Look, I get why you kept it a secret, and I promise no one will hear anything about it from me, but at some point we need to talk about what happened last night. Maybe when we're alone."

And all of a sudden, Lois is reasonable. I almost like her. Actually, if she was like that all the time, I would.

"Don't stop on my behalf."

Clark's head shot up. How could he have forgotten about Lex? He saw him now, sitting in his office chair at the far end of the room and facing the window. Even from the side, he could see Lex's face was a blank mask and he winced again. He didn't think he'd ever seen Lex looking so distant and cold before. It was worse than when Lex had been hell-bent on destroying him, and so much more painful.

This is NOT good.

"I think I'm going to leave you two alone for a bit," Lois announced in her usual blunt manner. "Don't forget about me though."

Clark simply nodded, unable to take his eyes from Lex's face, hoping to see some flicker of emotion and finding none. Lex's eyes didn't even move when Lois left the room and closed the door quietly behind her.

"Lex, say something, please."

"Get out." His voice was as cold as his eyes were, and Clark couldn't stop the shiver running through his body.

"Lex..."

"I said get out."

Clark hauled himself into a sitting position and slowly climbed to his feet, wobbling a little before he righted himself. "Lex, please, I tried to tell you last night but..."

"But you preferred kissing me to being honest with me?"

Lex sounded like Lana used to back in Smallville, and he was damned if he was going to lose someone else because of his secret.

Love the Lana comparison. Lex is acting bitchy. Who kissed whom first?

"I was going to tell you but I knew how you felt about Superman. I was hoping that in time I could convince you that he's not the monster you think he is. Lex, you know me, you know I would never do anything to hurt anyone. Can you honestly see me trying to take over the world?

Lex spun his chair around so that he was facing Clark. His eyes blazed with anger now. "I don't know, Clark. I don't know who you are. Our whole friendship, from the moment we met, has been a lie. I gave you my secrets, I gave you everything! I would have given myself to you, but you would never do the same, would you?"

"Yes! I wanted to. Dozens of times but I was...afraid."

Lex laughed. A dry, humorless laugh that chilled Clark. "Well, I suppose it's good to hear that the mighty Superman is afraid of something else other than Kryptonite. If I'd known rejection was the key, I'd have done this a lot sooner."

"Lex, I love you." As soon as the words left his lips, Clark knew they were true, and his heart ached with the knowledge that it was too late. He'd already lost Lex.

"Love?" Lex repeated with a sneer. "I don't think you even know what the word means. Did you really think we had any sort of future together? We're not even the same species."

That is so cold. Lex is making it clear that Clark was right to keep his origins concealed if that was the way Lex would react.

As his feelings were thrown back in his face, Clark suddenly felt the rage flood into him. He stormed over to Lex's chair and yanked him to his feet by the front of his shirt. "You thought we had a future together up until now. What's wrong, Luthor? Feeling inadequate all of a sudden because you're not the strong one any more? That I'm more than just a dumb, hick farmboy that you can impress with your knowledge and power?"

I said all he needed was to use the lint brush. Yes!

"I never tried to impress you," Lex said, his voice dangerously soft now. "You were always above all that. It was one of the things I loved about you."

Lex is only fooling himself, he never stopped trying to impress Clark. He just never said anything. Remember the restaurant?

Clark gave a small smile and released his grip of Lex's shirt. "So what now? You go back to trying to kill me, I resume thwarting your plans, and we forget about us? Is that what you want?"

Lex sagged and, for a moment, Clark worried he was going to collapse. He reached out a hand and let it rest gently on Lex's waist, offering support if it was needed.

Lex looked at the hand, then he looked at Clark, then he kissed him.

It was different to from the first kiss they had shared. This one actually hurt, and not just because of the bruising force Lex was putting behind it.

Lex wanted to be in control, to prove to himself that he still had some power. Clark understood and gave Lex what he wanted, letting him dictate what they did.

Clark is the strong one here, able to release control. Very nicely done.

He felt himself being pushed backwards until he tripped over the edge of the couch and toppled onto it with a soft grunt. Lex was on top of him immediately, his lips and tongue still doing battle with Clark's as he straddled him.

He was hard and Clark could feel it rubbing against him through their clothes. It was enough to bring his own cock springing to life. Then the kissing stopped and Lex began frantically working at undoing Clark's tie. His hands were shaking, but Clark knew better than to try and help him.

The tie undone, Lex found the buttons of Clark's shirt easier to manage and soon had the shirt open. Then he froze.

"Lex?" Clark asked, wondering for a moment if Lex had either come to his senses or changed his mind about this. Then he looked down. His Superman uniform was exposed beneath his clothes. Oh.

Does bring up an excellent point. This is not the first time I've read fics where there is sudden passion, just one of the few that dealt with that pesky uniform causing problems.

Lex was staring now and Clark sat deathly still, waiting to see how he would react. Slowly Lex reached out and traced his fingers over the Kryptonian symbol emblazoned on Clark's chest.

"You really are Superman," he finally whispered in a voice so soft that, if it hadn't been for his superhearing, Clark wasn't sure he'd have picked it up.

"Yeah," Clark replied gently. Understandably, Lex was still trying to process all of this and Clark wanted to help him. If he could just make Lex see that the uniform wasn't who he was, that Clark Kent wasn't Superman's secret identity, it was the other way around.

This is my favorite part of the fic. Some very telling points are being made, but not by yelling or accusation.

"I have to wear it all the time," he explained. "In case I'm needed."

The faintest hint of a smile flickered across Lex's lips. "Always prepared. I've said before you were a big boy scout."

Clark smiled at that. "I just want to help people, Lex. And Superman was the only way I could do it without putting the people I care about in danger."

"I understand that. I suppose in a way I'm responsible for this. I put your family in danger because I wanted to find out your secrets. I pushed you into this decision."

Clark shook his head. "It wasn't just you. It was my Mom's idea at first, she helped me make the uniform."

Lex ran his fingers over the symbol again and chuckled. "The most recognized costume in the world made by a Kansas farmer. Incredible."

"I'll tell her you think so next time I talk to her."

Lex apparently then realized he was still straddling Clark and climbed to his feet, walking back over to the window and staring out at the city of Metropolis. Clark rose and moved to stand beside him.

"I love this city, Clark."

"So do I."

Lex turned to face him. "I think I feel better knowing that it's you keeping it safe."

"Thanks, Lex. That means a lot coming from you."

They fell into silence again.

"Does this mean you're going to stop trying to kill me?" Clark finally asked.

I think Clark is catching on.

"Well, it would make our new relationship rather difficult if you were dead."

And...Lex is back in form!

Relationship? Clark felt his heart jump in his chest. That was the last thing he'd expected Lex to say. Especially now.

"I guess it would. Are you sure about this?"

Lex took Clark's hand in his. "I love you, Clark. I've loved you since you gave me my life that day on the river and I will love you until the day that I die."

Except for that little detour a few minutes earlier, but we'll just conveniently forget that.

"Even if I'm an alien?"

"All that means is the rest of the world now knows that you're the extraordinary person I've always known you are."

Clark kissed him, long and hard. He never wanted to let go in fact. He'd never once imagined he'd get acceptance for who he really was, least of all from Lex. It was probably impossible for him to feel happier than he did right now.

"Well," Lex said when he finally had to pull back for air. "I don't know what you want to do but I propose we go back to my penthouse and finish what we started here."

Clark grinned. "That's the best idea I've ever heard."

Yay! Happy ending!

The End