Commentary part 3: Without You by danceswithgary
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Part 14
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"Lex? What are you doing here?" The absolute shock on Clark's face would have been amusing if Lex hadn't too busy being thankful that is *was* Clark that exited the matrix, and not some other avatar summoned by Jor-El. "Are you all right? Did Jor-El hurt or threaten you?" Clark's hands cupped Lex's shoulders as he examined him, frowning when it was obvious his x-ray vision wasn't functioning.
"I'm fine, Clark, in much better shape than you are." Lex backed away a step and handed Clark a bundle of clothing. "You might want to get dressed before we start discussing what's been happening."
Clark's eyes widened and a blush swept his entire body when he looked down, realizing his state of undress. He grabbed the clothes from Lex and turning his back, quickly struggled into the jeans and flannel shirt, skipping the boxers for the sake of speed. He sat down to tug on his socks and boots, all without a word to Lex. Standing up, he continued to ignore Lex and addressed Jor-El. "Why have you brought Lex here? I told you I wouldn't force him. You had no right..."
Poor Clark. Naked in public again.
Lex reached out and clasped Clark's arm in an effort to gain his attention. "Clark, it wasn't Jor-El, at least not directly. Kal-El brought me here."
Clark staggered at that statement, as if he had taken a hard blow to his body. "Kal-El? What do you mean? I've been in stasis, how can that have happened?"
'So, you don't remember anything after you stepped into the matrix the first time?" Lex looked concerned. "Jor-El, have you erased his memory? That wasn't part of the agreement."
"Kal-El retains the memory, but this is now Clark Kent who was suppressed while Kal-El was in control. That has been reversed and Kal-El's memories will not surface unless you are successful integrating them." The AI may not have been able to express emotion, but Lex would have sworn he detected an air of impatience with his failure to comprehend the reasoning without explanation.
"Jor-El, what did you do while I was supposed to be in stasis?" Lex stepped back when Clark shrugged his hand off and straightened to his full height and *thundered* at the AI.
"Jor-El, let me explain it to him after we return to Smallville," offered Lex. "I'd like to get started back as soon as possible. We can't afford any further delays."
"As you wish, Lex Luthor. I will be waiting for your return."
Lex grabbed Clark's arm and began to tug towards the platform. He suspected it was only Clark's weakened condition that allowed it to happen. "C'mon Clark, let's get out of here. I'll explain later."
"Lex, I don't understand what's going on."
"It's OK, Clark. Jor-El and I have an agreement."
"Lex, you can't trust him. What kind of deal did you make?"
"It's simple, Clark. Jor-El doesn't attempt to hurt me or control you and the last of Krypton stays alive outside of permanent stasis. I get what I want, that is, *you*, and it gets what it wants, an heir to Krypton who won't completely reject his legacy."
Bright lights and a stomach-twisting sensation interrupted any further explanations.
. . .
Clark almost collapsed as he and Lex arrived back at the caves. Lex grabbed Clark's arm and placed it over his shoulders to help support him back into the main cave where he lowered the faltering man carefully to the ground. "Wait here a moment. I'll be right back." He darted back into the fissure and returned with the octagonal key, which he handed to Clark. "Where would you like to keep this? Here in the cave in that storage niche? Or would you prefer to take it with us?"
It was obvious Clark was still struggling to catch up with events. He blinked up at Lex before answering, "Take it with us?"
"OK, that's fine. Let's get you out to the limo and I can start explaining on the way back to Metropolis."
A stubborn expression came over Clark's face at that. "No, you can start now. I'm not going anywhere with you, yet."
Lex sighed. "I was afraid of that." He walked over to the far wall where Clark could see some equipment stored. "Let me get you a little more comfortable first." Carrying a blanket and small cooler, Lex walked back to Clark. He set the blanket down on the ground, still folded, and indicated to Clark that he should move off the cave floor on to it. After Clark did so, Lex opened the cooler and handed Clark a sandwich and a thermos of milk. "Here, your mother made that for you. She says it's your favorite. Eat while I talk."
Clark held the sandwich and thermos and just looked at Lex, completely baffled by the turn of events. Lex frowned and pointed to the items in Clark's hands and repeated, "You eat, I talk? Got it?" Clark finally nodded and opened the thermos, taking a drink before starting on the sandwich. With a satisfied nod, Lex shoved his hands in his pockets and began to pace back and forth in front of Clark, preparing his explanation.
"First of all, Clark, I want to apologize for the way I treated you that day you came to see me. I have no excuse for my behavior, but I am sorry." Lex waved away Clark's attempt to respond. "No, let me finish talking. You concentrate on getting some food in you. You've lost too much weight already." He waited until Clark resumed eating. "It's been thirty-five days since you came to my office, Clark."
Clark set the sandwich and thermos down, "I'm sorry, Lex. I'm not really hungry. Can you please just tell me what's going on?"
Lex turned and frowned at Clark. "I suppose I should be happy you managed that much. It's more than I could get Kal-El to eat." He resumed pacing.
"Lex, you're really confusing me. I'm Kal-El, but you're acting like Kal-El is or was someone else."
"Twenty-three days ago, Kal-El, *you*, arrived at my penthouse. Rather dramatically, I might add. You were naked and crashed through my bedroom window."
A choking cry came from Clark and he struggled to stand, unsuccessfully. "Lex, did I hurt you? Please tell me I didn't rape you!"
Lex stopped pacing and approached Clark, grasping his shoulder gently. "No, Clark. I'm fine. You were gentle and sweet and nothing happened that I wasn't willing to let happen." He squatted down in front of Clark so that he could look directly into his distressed green eyes. "I guess what I have to say isn't really an explanation of what has been happening, as much as it is telling you that I know." He reached out and gently stroked the side of Clark's face. "Clark, I know that I'm your *telethnan* and I want to complete the bonding with you as soon as possible."
Tears shimmered in Clark's eyes. "I can't do it Lex. I can't let you sacrifice yourself for someone you hate."
Lex went to his knees and leaned forwards, pulling Clark's face to his. He slanted his mouth over Clark's and the kiss was hard and deep, his tongue stealing Clark's secrets and sharing his. He drew back as Clark started to respond and gazed into Clark's startled eyes. "How do you feel about my spending the rest of my life with someone I love?"
Aww! YAY! Lex finally admitted his feeling. Poor confused Clark though
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Part 15
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Letting the dark curls slide through his fingers, Lex reviewed his plans. He knew it wasn't over yet. When Clark had closed his eyes and shaken his head, Lex had placed shaking fingers across Clark's lips to prevent the words he refused to hear. He had risen and pulled Clark up after him. "You're exhausted. We'll talk some more later. You can rest on the way back to Metropolis." They had slowly made their way out of the cave, Clark leaning on Lex whenever he stumbled on the uneven terrain. Lex had suppressed a smirk when, as soon as they were both settled in the limo, Clark had laid down with his head on Lex's thigh. It seemed as if Kal-El was still there in Clark's subconscious, an encouraging sign. Lex's hand had instinctively sought its favorite activity and Clark was asleep in a few short minutes, his apprehension soothed by Lex's caresses.
. . .
Clark was able to walk into the penthouse under his own power after sleeping all the way back to Metropolis. A blush and stammered apology had greeted Lex when Clark woke and realized who had been his pillow during that long nap, but Lex had smiled and assured Clark it was his pleasure. Looking around the penthouse, Clark flinched involuntarily when he caught sight of the balcony that had been protected by Kryptonite. Lex didn't miss Clark's reaction and he rubbed Clark's back as he explained the changes that had been made. "It's all right, Clark. All of the Kryptonite has been taken away and destroyed. There's nothing left here. It's also been removed from all of my facilities. Soon, there'll be none left in Smallville either. My teams should finish the cleanup there shortly. Even the pieces your mother and Batman keep 'just in case' will be collected and then disposed of safely. You will never be hurt by it again. I swear."
I love protective!Lex
"The labs? You stopped the research?" Clark searched Lex's face as he sought to understand.
Lex drew Clark to the couch, where he urged him to sit. "Of course. I couldn't take the chance that something we developed might hurt you. When you feel better, you can tour any building or structure owned by LexCorp and its subsidiaries." He crossed to the bar and brought a bottle of water back to Clark. "I've also informed my employees that you have the same security clearance as I do and you have same access to any files, to any data that I have."
Clark's eyes widened as he realized what Lex had done. "Why? Why have you left yourself exposed and vulnerable like that, Lex?"
Lex sat on the couch next to Clark, only leaving a few inches between them. "It's simple. I can't keep secrets from my *telethnan*, we're equals. I knew that when I left you...Kal-El in the matrix, so I came back here and started cleaning up everything I knew would make you unhappy. I want you to make sure I haven't missed anything, Clark."
At the mention of the bonding, Clark's face closed down. "Lex..."
"Clark, I understand that you think you're protecting me, but you're wrong. I want this, I want you."
Clark couldn't remain seated; he rose and walked a few feet away from Lex. "Lex, I hadn't really thought everything through when I came to you that day. Why I believed any human would want to trap themselves in a relationship with me for the rest of our lives..."
Lex sighed. "Clark, how many times must I apologize for that day? I was wrong to treat you that way, you didn't deserve it."
Clark shook his head in disagreement. "But I did deserve it Lex, you were right that day. I wasn't there just to renew our friendship. I was there to save my life at the risk of yours. That was wrong and I'm glad you had the strength to send me away." He was trembling, his strength waning again. He walked to the bar and set the bottle of water down. He frowned, looking at the bar and then rubbed his forehead.
"Are you OK?" Lex hurried to Clark's side, ready to catch him if he fell.
"It's weird, like something's missing...something broke here...and pain? All of a sudden, it was like I was dreaming...while I was standing here. I don't think I feel very well, Lex." Clark's face paled and he grasped the edge of the bar as he swayed.
Lex was torn between his concern for Clark's health and being grateful that Kal-El's memories would eventually be accessible to Clark. "Maybe you should lie down for a while before we continue this, Clark. And, you can be sure we will continue, because you are running out of time." He supported Clark as they headed for the bedroom.
"Lex, isn't this your bedroom?" Clark looked around the room seeing evidence that Lex was currently occupying it.
"It was the guest bedroom until someone decided to crash through my bedroom window." Lex teased Clark gently. "It became our bedroom when Kal-El wouldn't let me out of his sight for more than a minute or two. When Kal-El went back into the matrix and I returned to get things cleaned up, I didn't want to move back into my old bedroom. I missed you too much."
"But that was a dream." Clark said wonderingly. "Wasn't it? I was dreaming it while I was in the matrix." He walked into the bathroom and looked around before picking up the half-full bottle of bath gel to smell it. "Maybe I'm still dreaming..."
Lex led Clark to the bed and pushed him down gently. "You aren't dreaming, Clark. Those are Kal-El's memories. It's actually a good sign, we should be able to eventually retrieve those memories and re-integrate the two aspects of your personality." Sitting down next to Clark, Lex turned his body so that he could see Clark's face more easily. "What's the last thing you remember before you stepped out of the matrix today?"
"I had flown to the Fortress, took off my clothes and told Jor-El to place me in permanent stasis because I was not going to be able to complete the bonding. Are you saying Jor-El disobeyed me before today and I'm not aware of it?"
"Yes, that's exactly what happened." Lex laid his hand on Clark's thigh. "Clark, what did you do after you left my office? You asked me what I would do if I knew I was going to die." Lex rubbed Clark's thigh gently. "What did *you* do? Was that when you recorded your message?"
Clark shook his head. "No, the messages were recorded before I went to your office. If things worked out, they would have been deleted. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle recording them after I failed and I had to protect you from the League." He shrugged. "When I left you I had to face the fact I'm not human and never will be anything but alien, the last of my kind, so I decided my last memories would be of Earth's beauty outside human influence. A last goodbye, I guess. At the end of that day, I went to the Fortress."
"Based on that information, it looks like Jor-El re-programmed you in the matrix to become Kal-El. From what your mother told me, this wasn’t the first time."
"Yeah, the last time, Mom helped me with some black Kryptonite. I thought he was gone permanently. Guess I was wrong." Clark scanned Lex again, as if his x-ray vision was working, then frowned. "I can't tell, my vision isn't working right. Are you sure he didn't hurt you, *I* didn't hurt you? Mom said he was arrogant and didn't care who he hurt as long as he got what he wanted. Exactly what Jor-El wanted in a world conqueror?"
"I don't think the re-programming worked the same this time, maybe because you were older and probably stronger-willed. When Kal-El broke into the penthouse, he was injured, but not because he was fighting. Later, he never tried to hurt me; in fact, he was very gentle whenever he touched me. I think it was you, your influence, somewhere underneath, that made sure of it." Lex picked up Clark's hand and held it in both of his, chafing it lightly. "Clark, I have to be honest. The bonding has been started...and it wasn't against my will. Those days with Kal-El, a Kal-El that was still you underneath protecting me, gave me a glimpse of something I've craved all my life."
Clark jerked and tried to pull his hand away. "No, Lex! How could it if he...I didn't force you? You didn't know anything about it!"
"It's OK, Clark. It's still just on your side. I'm still safe, even though I don't want to be." Lex placed Clark's hand down on his leg and reached for the buttons of his flannel. "You...Kal-El made it impossible for me to return the favor by being completely impotent until that last day, when I called him *telethnan*. He kept using the word, his only word, every time he touched me." Lex had finished unbuttoning Clark's shirt and began to slide it off his shoulders and down his arms. "You have an incredible mouth, Clark, and I'm no saint...and I have always wanted you." Shirt off, Lex began to run his hands over Clark's chest, taking the time to thumb the eager nipples and eliciting a moan from Clark, who had offered no objections to Lex's actions. "You tasted me, Clark, more than once and I could tell you felt better afterwards." Clark's jeans were the next item of clothing to fall victim to Lex's roving hands. "It wasn't fair that I never got to taste you."
When the zipper started its downward journey, Clark seemed to wake from the sensual spell Lex was weaving and pushed his hands away. "Lex, stop. We can't. This is forever, not just something to enjoy now and forget about later. If we bond, it is for life and...if I die, if we can't maintain the balance...you will most likely go insane. I can't risk that, not after what happened to you in Belle Reve." He stood up and started to leave the room. "I should never have gone to your office. If I hadn't, you would never have known..."
Lex grabbed Clark and yanked him back around, finally losing his patience. "Enough! Kal-El would have shown up anyway and I wouldn't have had any warning something was going on!" His hands cupped Clark's face, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Clark, you need to believe me. If you do this, if you let yourself die in a mistaken attempt to spare me from this bonding, you will fail. You will fail because I promise you I will follow you into death just as Alexander followed his beloved Hephaistion, no longer willing to live without my love."
I can honestly believe Lex would do that too. When he loves he loves completely
Clark's eyes closed, but that did not prevent the tears from overflowing. Lex sipped them from his cheeks as they fell, murmuring "I love you, Clark, *telethnan*, please, let me love you, I need you." Clark's head fell, his shoulders slumped and then he wrapped himself around Lex and wept. Lex maneuvered them back to the bed and pressed Clark down, lifting his legs up and removing his boots and socks. He kicked off his own shoes and climbed onto the bed next to Clark. He pulled the sobbing Clark back into his arms, rocking him gently and stroking his hair. "It's OK, Clark. We'll make it work. Shhh, I love you, it's going to be all right."
Oh, poor Clark. He finally has Lex and he can't handle it. I'm so glad Lex is there to be the strong one and take care of him. That's the interesting thing about Clark. He may be phsyically stronger than anyone else on the planet but emotionally he's just like the rest of us.
. . .
"Lex?"
"Mmmm?"
"Do you really love me?"
"Yes, I really love you. I think I always have, even when I hated the way you treated me. When you left that day, you started me thinking about us and I think that I would have tried to reach you again, even without the bonding."
"I...I think I love you too, Lex. I know nobody has ever made me feel like you do." Lex could feel the smile against his shoulder. "I told Jor-El I was going to die a virgin." Clark lifted his head to look into Lex's smiling eyes. "Do you think you might be able to help me do something about that? I...I'm really tired of being one, a virgin I mean."
"I'd be honored." Lex's smile wasn't mocking. Clark decided the word for that smile was 'tender', and something he hadn't seen in Lex before. "Is now a good time?"
I love tender!Lex as much as protective!Lex.
"I think right now would be perfect, Lex."
Kisses floated along lips that wanted to soothe instead of plunder. Tongues flickered out to touch at tips and then retreated to savor the briefest taste. Fingers mapped curves, revealing teasing glimpses of pale skin or gold as clothing was shifted aside by impatient hands unwilling to take time for removal. Zippers descended as mouths and tongues searched out need, and found it. Green eyes fluttered closed, no longer able to watch the scarred mouth devour the bounty offered by an arched body. A low cry from lungs straining to breathe through ecstasy, "Lex, *telethnan*, mine."
. . .
"Lex?"
"Mmmm?"
"I love you...and I'm hungry."
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, Clark. Wait here, I'll bring back some food right away."
"OK. And then we can work on the rest of the 'still a virgin' problem?"
"Absolutely, my *telethnan*."
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Part 16 - Conclusion
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Clothing finally discarded, honey from Smallville farmers spread on Martha's freshly baked bread sated Clark's immediate appetite. After he watched Clark place the empty glass of milk on the tray and move it to the floor, Lex wasted no time in licking away any traces of the meal from his lover's mouth, humming in satisfaction at the sweet taste. "Sti glossa toy rihnoyn ti glykia drosia, kai apo tis melirrytes lekseis stomatikis rois toy." At Clark's raised brow, Lex whispered the translation of words summoned from Greek philosophy as his lips traveled to ear and slid along corded muscle. "On his tongue they shed sweet dew, and from his mouth flow honeyed words."
"Lex, you're going to kill me," groaned Clark as Lex nibbled along his collarbone and down the line of his sternum, bestowing sucking kisses between testing his teeth against vulnerable skin. "I want you, Lex," he panted, squirming under a tongue tracing the whorls of his navel. "Please? Can...I need to be inside you."
Lex nodded, his mouth occupied, and handed Clark the lube that he had retrieved while fetching Clark's snack. His lips curved as he lapped at the salty drops waiting at his destination, amused as he dismissed visions of spreadsheets with dates, times and methods recorded to ensure optimal exchanges. He decided closing out the rest of the world and applying themselves to the task 'at hand' every possible moment for the next two weeks should balance them nicely.
Hands shaking with need, Clark struggled with the tube until he was able to open it and coat two fingers. Lex's position, on hands and knees, was such that Clark did not have to search blindly for his objective and he diligently anointed the tight ring hidden in the shadows of the fair globes facing him. Circling gently first, for he was always conscious of his size and strength, one golden finger entered carefully with an appreciative moan from Lex. It was soon joined by a second, the stretch leaving Lex panting, the warm wash of his breath over Clark almost ending the exchange before it started. "Lex..." groaned Clark and his other hand reached to tug his tightening sac until he was under control once more.
Lex smiled his apology as he reversed and bestrode Clark, reclaiming the lube from the bed and coating Clark's substantial length quickly. Holding the straining curve upright, he lowered slowly, a flush rising as pressure increased. Green eyes widened at the new sensation, while large hands hovered, fearing to disturb the pale man's concentration. Lower lip caught between even teeth, Lex finally rested flush against dark curls, breathing slowly through his need to relax. Blue eyes locked with green as pale hands guided golden to hips, their strength assisting slow movement. Silence accompanied unhurried rhythmic motion, each feeding the other their desire until heavy-lidded eyes signaled the time to change tempo. Arms lifted and released as the pace intensified until fingertips pressed deep into hips signaled the final thrust and pulsing release, the silence finally broken by a strangled moan.
Leaning forward to kiss while disengaging, feeling the bruises from clutching fingers bloom on his hips, Lex prepared Clark for his entry, craving relief. Lifting slack-muscled legs, he pressed them back until his slicked fingers found their goal, their passage eased by contentment. Fearing he would spill before entering, Lex pushed home sooner than he would have preferred, hoping that Clark would not be hurt by his impatience. His fear was allayed by the sounds of pleasure issuing from Clark as Lex reached completion in only a few strokes, promising himself a more protracted session in the future. Lex collapsed on his *telethnan*'s willing body as both slid into sleep.
Aww! Beautiful scene!
. . .
"Are you insane, Superman! He's a Luthor and he can't be trusted!"
"I may not be physically ready to go back on patrol yet, Batman, but I'm not mentally handicapped. We have an empathic link and I trust him with everything that I am. I suggest that you and the rest of the League keep that in mind for the future, when discussing my husband-to-be."
Go Clark! You tell them!
. . .
"What do you mean you're living with Luthor now? Did he brainwash you so you wouldn't write any more stories about him and his unsavory business practices? Is that why you disappeared for 2 months? We thought you were dead!"
"Lois, you're welcome to continue to investigate Lex. I highly doubt you'll find anything to untoward to report. By the way, I'm transferring to features. Perry is interviewing my replacement right now."
"You're quitting on me, Smallville?"
"I wouldn't want anyone to think there's a conflict of interest, Lois. Oh, and I'll be sure to invite you and your new partner to the wedding when we set the date."
Hehe! I bet that rendered Lois speechless for a few minutes at least
. . .
"Martha, I trust your taste. I would really appreciate it if you would work with the wedding designer.
"Of course, Lex, anything I can do to help. I never thought I'd get the chance, after all. Now, how about some more pie? Clark still needs to put a few more pounds back on."
Pie is Marth'a cure for everything. Hehe! And rightfully so
. . .
"The bonding has been completed successfully, Lex Luthor and Kal-El. Now the balance must be maintained for both of you to remain healthy and sane."
"Thank you, Jor-El. I was sure we were in balance when Clark's powers returned, but it is good to hear it confirmed. Kal-El's memories have also been re-integrated and Clark remembers what happened while he was Kal-El."
"Yes, Jor-El, I do remember. You are fortunate Lex is an honorable man; otherwise, I wouldn't be standing here now. We will hold to the agreement, and Lex will be working with me on analyzing Kryptonian history and the knowledge you wished to program Kal-El with, so that it will not be lost. Any attempt to re-program me in the future will dissolve the agreement. Understood?"
"Confirmed."
Excellent. No more crap from Jor-El but really his meddling is what brough Clark and Lex together in the first place so I suppose I can forgive him
. . .
"Lex, I could feel you plotting from the other side of the city. Put the laptop away and come to bed."
"Don't you want to see what evil I've been planning?"
Clark just shook his head, picked up his husband, and threw him over his shoulder. "Your evil schemes are getting distinctly unoriginal. The last one came right out of Warrior Angel issue 207. Why don't you just give it up and kiss me when you want to make love instead?" He gently tossed Lex on the bed and starting pulling his uniform off.
Lex grinned. "It worked, didn't it? If I'm not allowed to indulge my evil impulses at work..."
Clark crawled across the bed stalking his wayward *telethnan*. "You have too many clothes on, Professor Wicked. I suggest you get rid of them quickly if you want them in one piece." When Lex just laid there waiting for him, he reached and ripped open his shirt sending buttons scattering. He chuckled when shredding Lex's pants revealed boxers were not part of his attire. "You really are an evil genius..."
Hehe! Evil in an adoreable way. Just the way I like him.
fin
Lex's Greek quote is from The Theogony by Hesiod with the complete phrase as follows:
"Whomsoever among kings divine the daughters of mighty Zeus honour and look upon at his birth, on his tongue they shed sweet dew, and from his mouth flow honeyed words: and all the people look toward him as he decideth dooms with just judgements... "