FIC: 'Everybody knows (except you)' - PG
RECIPIENT: sweetiemissy
TITLE: Everybody knows (except you)
SIZE: 5500 words
GENRE: humour, fluff, little bit of angst.
PROMPT(S) USED: 'wonder.'
RATING: PG
WARNINGS/SPOILERS: character spoilers for SGU eps 1 and 2.
SUMMARY: Christmas is a complicated thing. Which is why they have Vala, obviously.
Thanks: to hariboo_smirks for the beta and advice. All remaining grammar/spelling failures are absolutely my own.
Written for dv_exchange .
---
late in the day
"We should do fake Christmas every year," Cam thumps a hand on the table as Sam eyes his tipping brandy glass with concern, "even - oh yeah, I'm goin' there - even if we're Earthside on the day."
Daniel coughs delicately into the ensuing silence, paper hat sliding over the top of his ear, as Teal'c casts a careful, deliberate glance at Vala.
Vala taps her fingers methodically on the Santa-themed tablecloth in the face of Cam's slack grin.
"I think, Cameron, I could live with that."
---
two weeks before the day
They all know what day it would be if they were on Earth. It would be the day after Christmas.
And it would be very nice, very team-shaped. Depending, of course, on the whims of Sam's tour on the Hammond (twenty three days left barring bizarre space organisms and asteroid fields - cue Daniel and oh, you had to show her Star Wars) and her drive back from her brother's house. And Cam's flight back from his parents' house landing on the right day. And the mysterious errand that Daniel and Teal'c go on every Christmas day or closest to, the one Vala hasn't yet discovered the purpose of, but that it takes a long, quiet drive and brings Cassie back with them. It's quiet, the likes of which makes Hurricane Jack's arrival a welcome bit of noise, if he weren't caught in a bunker in Washington.
So all in all, the day after Christmas would normally have the same chance of going according to plan as everything else the team does, which is to say very little.
This year's plan had gone spectacularly wrong, Vala couldn't help but think, even by their standards. Usually they were at least on Earth and capable of sending fifteen 'on my way this time really except something just blew up maybe half an hour?' text messages. Not so this time - the cell reception from an underground prison on another planet would likely be all kinds of rotten. If only that were the worst of their problems.
'Which team?' Vala hisses to Daniel, who shakes his head, which is better than him shushing but still quite annoying. He's peering through the bars like his head will somehow fit (Cam's didn't before, his shoulders definitely didn't, and Daniel nearly gets stuck looking like an idiot just like he did). That or, Vala considers, looking at the way he's squinting, he's trying to glare so hard he turns his eyes into parabolic microphones to hear the negotiations. This particular form of attempted synesthesia is his most baffling habit but she understands the impulse to have some - any - part in saving their own skins.
'It's SG...' Daniel starts and presses his lips together.
'You don't know,' Vala puts in flatly. 'How can you not know?'
Daniel flushes and turns to give her a stinker of an evil eye, which Vala returns in exaggerated form. 'I didn't exactly know they'd be bargaining for our lives when Landry had his swearing in ceremony for teams twenty through fifteen hundred all of three days ago, did I?'
'No,' Vala answers, settling for that as a retort and pointedly turning her back on the tiny slit of a view Daniel is hogging.
'Well, this sucks,' Cam states.
There's a general round of hhmph-indeed-shhhh! that translates to agreement and they go back to waiting.
---
one week and six days before the day
Cam gives the tired-looking lieutenant with SG-26 on his patch a clap on the arm while the younger man helps him to his feet.
'Sounded nasty,' Cam fishes. He'd thank the officer for sticking it out for ten hours of mind-numbing negotiations and language crash courses with his unfed team but they aren't out of there yet.
(Later, at the end of January, they will. They will take out the team of recruits who make them feel ancient, beat them soundly at pool (Teal'c), get them blind drunk (Vala, Cam, who knows) and will be surprised when SG-26 thanks them for it, as nobody knows how anybody else got home.)
In the cell, though, Vala is standing up and realising that, oh yes, there really is a little bit of a break or a nick or a something in her left leg, barely noticed before because it was folded up beneath her for forty hours and numb like the rest of her. She thinks it's a break - or maybe it's a break in the ankle. Or something. All she can really discern precisely is that it hurts an awful lot.
She takes one look at the four clean-shaven team members (translator has glasses - why do they all have glasses?), the gathered clan of intimidating men with spears, which would be less intimidating if they had any weapons between them at all, and her teammates. It's just about then, while Lt. Stanley is thanking the clan for releasing Earth's mighty, strongest warriors, that she realises she's going to have to walk on her somewhat painful leg until they're out of view of the fort to maintain the ungodly illusion.
Right, then, she thinks, fixing her eyes somewhere between Daniel's back and his backside, and walks. And walks.
When the inky puddles over her eyes clear up, Vala sees the team discreetly taking stock of the others in the clearing. Two of SG-26 watch for inquisitive clansmen checking on them. Daniel is limping on his right leg, Teal'c is easing off his shoulders from being squeezed in a cell too small and Cameron looks pained but determined while handing out the energy bars to everyone else first. It's not the worst state they've trudged home in, Vala judges, although they've been an awful lot better. And they've trudged home through woods with paths, unlike this one, which is solid green-green-vine-puddle with a canopy so thick as to blot out most of the light.
Daniel falls into step approximately beside her, mouth quirking up at the corners somewhere under pale skin and wide-brimmed hat. 'Do you remember the team-building athletics day?'
'If you mean General O'Neill's mad parents and children picnic-' Vala grins and pushes her hair back. It's soaked through from the air in the jungle.
'I do,' Daniel nods and Vala remembers the way Daniel could name most of the children running around screaming, the way Jack had flown in especially to drag Cassie along since she was on spring break anyway. Or rather, Sam had explained by email, Jack had flown in to drag Cassie along because she was on spring break.
Daniel glances at Vala's leg with a raised eyebrow and she laughs. 'We'd lose. We'd lose against six year olds and everyone would see and we'd never ever hear the end of it.'
'She's right,' Cam puts in from behind them, swatting the thick air out of the way and seemingly restraining himself from asking if they're there yet - he knows it's two kilometres yet, just like the rest of them with handy Air Force watches and decent memories. 'Just so you know.'
Still, even Teal'c looks amused by the idea of Vala and Daniel being the world's worst three-legged race team. It's easy enough to imagine when he slings an arm around her waist to help her across an overgrown fallen tree and happens to leave it there.
---
one week and five days before the day
'I don't know, I still like these ones better.'
'Yeah, but you have to eat first or else the stomach acid-'
'Because eating has always been a problem for you. I've seen those care packages, Cameron.'
'The mess will have a meal prepared soon. If we could postpone discussion of eating until such a time-'
There's a familiar laugh from the direction of the door. Vala would go and leap on the laughing person, but she's currently being splinted and plastered for a broken ankle. Dr. Lam glares with all the ire of a thwarted corset seamstress as she experimentally lifts her unplastered leg at the edge of the bed.
'I brought a trolley,' Sam announces to the general area, trusting they're in it despite the sea of white curtains. 'It has food on it.'
'See, now I'll be happy to see you,' Daniel calls back.
---
one week and four days before the day
'And you'll-'
'Yes.'
'Okay, it's under th- my bed. In my quarters.'
Cam pauses at the door of the mess, nearly empty but for Jackson and Vala and a strange folder sitting between them.
Jackson smiles as if she's made a joke and Vala makes an affronted noise before pointing. 'This will be the tricky one.'
---
one week and three days before the day
Cam blinks when Vala drops a pile of paper on top of his empty report-sheet. He was getting to it, it's on the tip of his tongue to protest; Vala doesn't care. 'It's important,' is all she says, leaving on crutches and humming something suspiciously like 'Good King Wenceslas'.
He stares at it before realising not only is it bound, but it has the proper 'TOP SECRET' stamps all over it and everything. It's got to be the first time. He even considers whether borderless frames are tacky nowadays.
ATTN: Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell
CC: Lt. Col. Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Teal'c (consulting).
BCC:
The 'bcc' line immediately arouses his suspicions. It means that somewhere in an underground hole of an office as much like the Mountain as he can make it, a three-star general is chartering an Air Force plane with a gleeful grin all should fear. And Cameron doesn't even know why yet.
CONTENTS:
1. Meteorological causes
2. Temporal realities
a.) according to Dr. Carter
b.) according to [various]
3. Logistics of operation: inc. electronics, procurement, etc.
4. Optimal success plan: Alpha
APPENDIX
1. Emails - note: redacted for source confidentiality
2. Scanned formulae
Cam almost - almost - hits his head off of his oft-abandoned desk. Because although he'll claim to have no idea what it is, he knows. Oh, he knows. He just didn't expect it to be so thorough or so thoroughly, utterly unavoidable, and not even 'unavoidable' like an impending apocalypse - oh no, this is the real thing.
It's a dossier on Vala's perfect Christmas and how she's going to bully them into thinking it's a fantastic idea. It's complete with cross-referenced dates of expected snowfall, Sam's time Earthside ('temporal realities' Cam's ass) and intricately organised and collated lists of their favourite food and drink (Cam does not have a 'propensity' for brandy). This is followed by instructions to Teal'c to locate suitable music for the 'ambience', Cam to bring his Wii on pain of death or hunger if forgotten, and Daniel to bring absolutely none of his CDs. Sam, apparently, can do almost anything that she likes about decor, because Vala 'trusts her taste' (Cam's not insulted. He's not.)
He skips The Plan as it'll all go to Hell by 10am whatever he does and promptly drops the report. The appendix turns out to be scanned recipes, flyers for supermarket offers and largely blacked-out emails from Sam, dates of arrival and departure and events she's attending left intact only. Which leaves a lot of black and a lot of Cam staring suspiciously because seriously, what. How many pages could 'how are you - fine thanks - yay' fill? He holds it up to the light before remembering that's wrong and that Vala's crafty enough to have made sure it wouldn't work.
That leaves one thing to do. It's a long shot - the longest of the long shots, if the dinner in the mess was anything to go by - but he has to try.
Jackson jumps when Cam's pack interrupts his reading of-
'Oh, you've got one.'
Daniel looks up and rubs his eye. 'I'm still confused about when we're giving gifts. Maybe I should send Vala an email- and somebody should make sure and bring Landry and Dr. Lam.' Cam has already thought about talking to Carolyn about carpooling, when not concocting evil schemes to get out of the whole thing.
Cam blinks and sits down opposite him, shaking his head. 'No, no, Jackson - we've got to fight this. It's - it's Christmas facism. If we do this, the Christmas Nazi wins.'
The other man seems to be amused. Cam doesn't know why. 'And you think we stand the slightest chance? That if we don't do something now, when we're all on enforced base time anyway, you won't walk into your flat some sunny July day and find it covered in fairy lights?'
He takes that in. Because she probably would. With a sigh, he looks at Daniel again. 'Not fairy lights. Expressly banned in large quantities in section three F.'
Daniel, the traitor, just grins.
---
one week and two days before the day
'Favourite New Year this year?'
It's Sam's turn to ask a question. She chooses Daniel to answer.
'PD8 46W,' Daniel answers, picking the small but deadly glass of vile-coloured liquid, wincing and downing it while they all shout encouraging and informative things in his direction about what he's drinking. 'But I wish they'd make their moonshine out of something else.' He blanches at the aftertaste and reaches for the water jug. 'God, make that anything else.' They watch as he looks around the circle clustered around Vala's bed and Sam swears she sees a ghost of a smirk for the briefest second. 'Vala? Same question.'
'I couldn't possibly,' is the swift reply. 'I'm on painkillers. Isn't that right, doctor?'
Vala nudges Carolyn, who has elected to join them because apparently, Cam has been talking up the New Year's Eve gathering for about six months while she stuck him with various needles.
Carolyn shakes her head with pursed lips and a wicked look. 'Nope. You know, I think that prescription ran out yesterday morning and I suggested more garden variety pain relief if you ever need it. So unless you've been raiding my infirmary-'
'PD8 46W,' Vala interjects with a glance at the ceiling and raising a hand. She appears not to be able to meet Daniel's eyes as he puts the tiny glass of what amounts to chili vodka into her hand and pats it encouragingly.
It's a game that Cam started the year he joined the team largely because he's a child and they've all told him so, but they play anyway - they've precious little else to do on New Year's Eve for the most part.
One table is laid out with a bottle of contraband alcohol from each planet they've been invited to a New Year's party on. Then they ask a question, answer it and have to take a drink. Sam pointed out this was illogical as surely you'd take a drink instead of answering a question. Cam responded that it depended on the goal of the thing: if you wanted to learn more about your teammates, she was right. If you wanted to get everybody drunk as soon as possible, they'd be playing it Cam's way, and his way, nobody had to be honest. This year, there's been fifteen planetary festivals and they'd grabbed a bottle or two from each.
It ends just like the first year, the year Vala wasn't there, and the second, the year Sam wasn't there. The third time the team drink to Earth's New Year they don't notice it's come and gone until it's four am and Daniel's passed out, this time in the big chair by Vala's bed.
---
one week before the day
Cam spends most of the morning complaining that Vala can't shop for her own Christmas supplies and that if she really wanted all the exacting things on the list, she should do it on the internet. Except, when it comes down to it, they all get bizarrely into it, going around the aisles as if it's a recon and lives are at stake, comparing boxes with pictures in folders and checking them off with pens Vala has attached to the same folders. Between the way it feels like a game show and the way they keep stopping for ridiculously bad coffees, Sam suspects they'll be running in circles with shaking hands by closing time.
The staff are all obscenely nice to them, except in the local florist. But even that's okay because Vala's put in a handwritten footnote that just says, 'Brunette is snobby and will offer Cameron carnations. Don't do it.' Sam is convinced that everyone thinks they're the world's most conspicuous quality control mystery shopping team or a TV crew. It doesn't stop her making a mental note to take a clipboard on intimidating shopping expeditions to ensure better service.
However, Daniel is being too quiet.
Four supermarkets in and two stops to go, Sam can appreciate the motivation. And yet it's not his why am I not with my books? This is confusing quiet. It's a focused thing he's doing with a folder and ticky boxes.
'What next?' Sam asks, loading the bags into the back of the car.
'Tablecloth,' Teal'c answers, looking up from his own folder. 'Am I correct?'
The question is addressed to Daniel, whose folder is significantly thicker than those allocated to the others. Sam wonders what Vala had to say to him about groceries that doubled the page count.
'It's three blocks down and on the right,' Daniel looks up, squints and gets in the passenger seat of Teal'c's large car. 'If we can't see it straight off, there's a picture of the storefront in here.'
There's a beat of silence while Cam looks at Sam and she looks back and the last time she tried not to laugh this hard, it was in high school and bananas were involved.
'Daniel,' Cam starts and the look on his face is so innocent that Sam can't help but worry, 'has Vala hacked your internet and found things you don't want us to know about?'
'I don't think so,' is the distracted answer. Which, really, doesn't help them any. 'She's been in physio for the ankle for the last week, so I don't know when she'd get the chance.'
Sam looks around, wondering which of them will crack first. 'What about- you know, when she made the Christmas mission files?'
And that's it for Cam. He cracks on the word 'files' and laughs silently, looking up to see Daniel frowning a little in the rear view mirror and loses it again.
'Oh, this? You weren't meant to see those. She's been planning it for months - said it helped her "research Earth culture,"' Daniel replies in the same tone, eyes on the papers. 'It was going to be her present for the team but you know, crutches.'
Teal'c blinks and remembers he's driving while Sam and Cam share some guilty looks.
'I think she's enjoying this about as much,' Daniel continues as if they aren't being conspicuously, desperately silent, 'You know, ordering everyone around. You know what she's like.'
And yeah, they do know what she's like, and while that includes words Sam won't say in front of Cassie (still), Vala also goes and does some things like this. And damn him, Sam thinks, because he knows exactly what he's saying and it explains about forty percent of Sam's inbox. She makes a mental note to phone Washington and warn Jack that laughing at Vala's super-planning is absolutely, completely forbidden.
Later, Sam squints over Daniel's shoulder while deciding between green and red tablecloths (they buy both and change them when Jack spills sauce all over the first one).
'She gave me the original-' Daniel explains without looking up, sounding amused. 'I decided the polka-dot pink folder could stay at the mountain for a day. Don't tell Vala.'
Sam grins and points at the taped-in pictures from magazines, some lined up under columns headed with 'THIS YES - NOT THIS.' 'I knew girls who did this for their wedding. Can you imagine if Vala has a wedding?'
Daniel's smile is a little tight and she could swear he's gone a bit pale. Sam smirks.
---
six days before the day
Being not allowed to undertake offworld missions doesn't stop the disasters coming to them. Apparently, those can also be ordered for home delivery.
Vala is hobbling around Sam's (stolen) lab, a second pair of hands and assistant on a truly spectacular patch job they're doing to save SG-8, trapped offworld by a line of code buried somewhere in the gate's dialing programme interface.
'Hardwire these things often on the Hammond?' Vala shouts over while Cam hands her a surprisingly mundane spanner. He's currently her Go Get Thing X lackey, having let Teal'c and Daniel go get something to eat.
'You'd be shocked the things a space captain has to do nowadays,' Sam replies with a quick grin and consoling look to Cam, 'Sometimes I feel like some kind of pirate.'
Ten minutes later, Sam declares it finished just as there's a phone call telling them SG-8's previously safe position is under fire. 'What next?' Vala asks as Teal'c and Daniel walk back in.
Sam lifts the device they've put together - a bottle green board of small plugs that looks suspiciously like a toy. 'We replace this into the faulty panel. It has enough power to override the subroutine stopping SG-8 getting through without blowing up the server, which has to be done directly because I made it completely tamper-proof in the first place. It should also filter for more lines like it and stop them when it's done that.'
'Will you need me?' Vala asks as Sam slips the panel into a food bag.
Sam pauses and nods. 'Maybe. I'll run. Can you-'
'Muscles?' Vala asks as Sam starts off for the elevators and the servers. He looks to Daniel and Cam.
'You are of a more even height,' he says and follows Sam.
Vala grins at them, 'So I'm always saying,' as they put an arm around each of her sides and start to go as fast as they can. The basketball pays off - they're neatly in step and Vala doesn't get a concussion from any walls or floors. They change to use their hands to form a seat under her in the elevator and then really run to the server room.
Teal'c stands back from holding delicate tools in place as they arrive, Sam nodding to Vala, who stands on one leg with her shoulder against the server box and dives in with the mini-spanner.
'I'm on the wires. Red going into sixteen through twenty one.'
Sam nods and swears at the time it's taking. 'SG-8?'
Teal'c relays the question to the gateroom through his radio, being the only one to have one still attached.
'They are still under fire with no casualties so far.'
'Good, we just need-' Vala starts, biting her lip.
'-that,' Sam finishes, nodding to Teal'c and pulling Vala back as the hackjob starts to spark and the server starts to whir. 'Try it now!'
'Thought you said it wouldn't overload!' Cam shouts over the sound of popping and hissing.
'I remember that very specifically!' Daniel chimes in.
'It's not overloading!' Sam and Vala shout back. They look at each other. 'Yet,' Vala adds.
'The team have dialed in,' Teal'c informs them.
They wait. And then the server whirs and slows - Sam throws Teal'c a look. 'They've shut down the gate - did they get through?'
When Teal'c nods, there's a moment where everybody finds a surface and leans on it, not noticing that Vala chooses Daniel's left bicep for the purpose.
---
four days before
'So I hear you're working on your leave. Again.'
'Yes, working on leave, even with a broken ankle,' Vala answers with a positively vicious grin. It's worth it for Sam's face, realising instantly who has to be on the other end of the lab phone.
'Ah, Vala-' Jack O'Neill drags out, 'I heard about that. Maybe next time you'll let the nice men throw you in the cell with the rest of the team without hooking your foot on the door.'
'Or I could not,' Vala retorts, 'Anyway, you'll be arriving at Samantha's house by two at the latest, won't you?'
'Provided I don't have to go billions of miles away on a fast commute-' Vala's seen the Destiny reports and would rather never get much closer than that, having had enough out of body experiences for a lifetime - 'I should make it. Does Carter know I'm coming?'
Vala's still downright annoyed about that one. 'If I hadn't broken my ankle, none of them would have.'
It's at this point Sam claims the phone. 'Don't work too hard or else you'll end up like Carter and Daniel' is Jack's last, probably deliberately, because Sam's first is, 'I heard that. Sir.'
---
three days before the day
Cam sees them coming back, waits in the mess with Vala, her mouth a little tighter than normal, and is surprised. To his knowledge, nobody's ever told Vala where Teal'c, Daniel and Sam go near or on Christmas - there are some things that belong to them. Except it seems that this year, someone has.
While Cam and Vala ate in the mess and got on with paperwork and physio, they went with Cassie to put flowers on a well-kept memorial and to visit a girl named Janet.
Nobody says anything when they sit back down until Sam asks how long the coffee's been sitting and how terrible it is.
---
the day before
Daniel hears a knock on the door of office and looks up to see Cam in the doorway. 'So who's driving Vala over tomorrow? I know the general and Carolyn are going with Teal'c.'
He yawns. 'I've hours left on this-'
'-on that recreational activity which clearly complies with our orders to rest?' Cam interjects raising an eyebrow.
'Of course,' Daniel replies, each word weighted like a lead balloon. 'So you can head off. I'll be here in the morning. I keep clothes here anyway.'
Cam bites back that he keeps a mini-apartment between his locker and quarters but thinks better of it.
Vala is sitting up when he stops by, foot on the bed and the rest of her in the chair with a book.
'So Daniel's going to drive you over tomorrow.'
Vala barely blinks. 'Okay. Thanks for sorting that.' She looks at Cam and narrows her eyes. 'Can you help me up?'
Now working his way up to freaked out by the pod people, Cam approaches slowly and takes her arms to pull her to her one working foot.
And sees a hoodie over the back of the chair. One that's far too big for Vala. Because of course, he thinks, joining up a string of dots, emails, lists and assorted other memories. Memories like wondering why Vala would be reading a report on soil samples from P4D 26X and why it would be on her bedside table. Jackson keeps clothes here anyway.
He swallows and Vala grins at him, full and bright, before kissing him on the cheek. 'One of the things we all love about you is that you're the soul of discretion, Cameron Mitchell.'
He can't help blushing as she falls back onto the bed and tosses him a Christmas card. 'I don't know why, I'll see you on the day anyway, but apparently, friends and co-workers are supposed to.'
Cam bites his lower lip. 'They all know, don't they?'
'Not because we've told them,' is the smart answer, 'well, except-'
'Sam,' Cam says, realising that wanting his head to meet hard surfaces is getting familiar, 'by email.'
Vala grins.
Later, after a hard-fought match of a card game Vala's fond of, and without asking why she's bothering to stay up when she's clearly done in for the day, he leaves.
And drops by Daniel's office to throw a balled-up piece of paper at him. 'We're assembling at 0900 to decorate the house,' Cam grins, 'so you'd better stop keeping people up.'
---
the day
Holy shit, Cam thinks, apologises mentally and thinks again because he hadn't meant that everybody knew. But everybody knows.
Even, apparently, the two generals. Who are circumspectly ignoring the way Vala's sitting on Daniel's knee, having tripped backwards 'because of her ankle' and stayed there. Who have already ignored the many expensive, personal and intimate gifts like the delicate charm bracelet on Vala's wrist with the matching necklace. He wants desperately to point out that men do not buy friends jewelry like that and that women do not pick jewelry like that for their friends to buy.
He may also tell Vala to work on her Surprised Face. You know, for missions. Because the difference between the clearly expected necklace and the charm bracelet had been somewhat obvious.
Maybe it's some sort of Secret Relationship Christmas amnesty or something, he thinks, looking around, something SG-1 do on occasions and he hasn't picked up on it yet. Or maybe the generals know fine well they'd all go hopelessly insane and take other people with them on other teams. Or, well, something.
Then he goes with it because, really, what else is there to do?
---
the day, evening
Nobody even asks if poker is in the spirit of the thing. While Landry, O'Neill, Teal'c and Sam play, Cam and Carolyn do the dishes.
Cam cracks the window open - the heat in the kitchen is stifling - when Carolyn excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
'You know, I think we did good.'
'My idea, though.'
Vala's voice is indistinct around the edges: wine, maybe.
'Yeah, it was. We should do it every year.'
Cam shuts the window as quietly as he can.
---
the day, the evening, the outside
Vala slips out of the back door between games and before her turn on the dishes. Between the infirmary, the prison, the dinner and Daniel, she's barely had a minute alone in about three weeks.
She remembers why that is about ten minutes later, when she's had her fill of Alone Time (alone time that doesn't include a book anyway).
As if she'd shouted, Daniel opens the back door and takes the steps with his hands in his pockets. 'Cold out here,' he starts, slipping her jacket over her shoulders.
'Little bit,' Vala answers with a grin, sticking out her tongue to catch a bit of the light snow. It's gone by the time it hits the ground and it'll freeze through the night, but it's pretty enough to look at.
'You hiding from Jack's Tiny Tim jokes? Because they were sort of inevitable.'
She doesn't dignify that with a response that isn't a glare. And damn the infuriating man, he just grins back. They'd watched the Muppets' Christmas Carol with lunch - Vala had been both horrified and flattered. She'd also suddenly understood Jack's uncontrollable laughter from the minute he'd seen her still on crutches.
She takes a hand from a crutch and threads it through Daniel's, feeling his thumb find the flat back of her hand and make circles on it. Daniel tugs her lightly to lean against him in lieu of the crutch. 'Work out how you wanted it?
'Just about,' Vala nods, feeling his head lean just on the top of hers, 'I'd pictured more dancing -'
'What section was that in? I could have-' Daniel frowns.
Vala looks up to give him an incredulous look and he laughs. She shakes her head and mutters about being surrounded by men who think they're funny.
'I think we did good,' he says a minute later.
'My idea, though.'
---
'We should do fake Christmas every year,' Cam thumps a hand on the table as Sam eyes his tipping brandy glass with concern, 'even - oh yeah, I'm goin' there - even if we're Earthside on the day.'
Daniel coughs delicately into the ensuing silence, paper hat sliding over the top of his ear, as Teal'c casts a careful, deliberate glance at Vala.
Vala taps her fingers methodically on the Santa-themed tablecloth in the face of Cam's slack grin.
'I think, Cameron, I could live with that.'
---
epilogue
It's late, late, late o'clock and they're taking it in turns to switch in and out to get the dishes done in a very fair rota. The taking-turns thing they're so used to by this point that Vala didn't bother to write an actual rota.
Vala is chattering with Sam in a display of girliness hitherto unknown at the first opportunity Cam has to corner Daniel.
'So now I know why you didn't resist the Christmas invasion,' Cam accuses.
The television reference is lost on him. Daniel grins and shrugs, 'I was bowled over in wonder by her organisational skills?'
Cam could call that so many things, but it would be unseasonal.
'Yeah, whatever, Jackson. Next year, I'll -'
END
TITLE: Everybody knows (except you)
SIZE: 5500 words
GENRE: humour, fluff, little bit of angst.
PROMPT(S) USED: 'wonder.'
RATING: PG
WARNINGS/SPOILERS: character spoilers for SGU eps 1 and 2.
SUMMARY: Christmas is a complicated thing. Which is why they have Vala, obviously.
Thanks: to hariboo_smirks for the beta and advice. All remaining grammar/spelling failures are absolutely my own.
Written for dv_exchange .
---
late in the day
"We should do fake Christmas every year," Cam thumps a hand on the table as Sam eyes his tipping brandy glass with concern, "even - oh yeah, I'm goin' there - even if we're Earthside on the day."
Daniel coughs delicately into the ensuing silence, paper hat sliding over the top of his ear, as Teal'c casts a careful, deliberate glance at Vala.
Vala taps her fingers methodically on the Santa-themed tablecloth in the face of Cam's slack grin.
"I think, Cameron, I could live with that."
---
two weeks before the day
They all know what day it would be if they were on Earth. It would be the day after Christmas.
And it would be very nice, very team-shaped. Depending, of course, on the whims of Sam's tour on the Hammond (twenty three days left barring bizarre space organisms and asteroid fields - cue Daniel and oh, you had to show her Star Wars) and her drive back from her brother's house. And Cam's flight back from his parents' house landing on the right day. And the mysterious errand that Daniel and Teal'c go on every Christmas day or closest to, the one Vala hasn't yet discovered the purpose of, but that it takes a long, quiet drive and brings Cassie back with them. It's quiet, the likes of which makes Hurricane Jack's arrival a welcome bit of noise, if he weren't caught in a bunker in Washington.
So all in all, the day after Christmas would normally have the same chance of going according to plan as everything else the team does, which is to say very little.
This year's plan had gone spectacularly wrong, Vala couldn't help but think, even by their standards. Usually they were at least on Earth and capable of sending fifteen 'on my way this time really except something just blew up maybe half an hour?' text messages. Not so this time - the cell reception from an underground prison on another planet would likely be all kinds of rotten. If only that were the worst of their problems.
'Which team?' Vala hisses to Daniel, who shakes his head, which is better than him shushing but still quite annoying. He's peering through the bars like his head will somehow fit (Cam's didn't before, his shoulders definitely didn't, and Daniel nearly gets stuck looking like an idiot just like he did). That or, Vala considers, looking at the way he's squinting, he's trying to glare so hard he turns his eyes into parabolic microphones to hear the negotiations. This particular form of attempted synesthesia is his most baffling habit but she understands the impulse to have some - any - part in saving their own skins.
'It's SG...' Daniel starts and presses his lips together.
'You don't know,' Vala puts in flatly. 'How can you not know?'
Daniel flushes and turns to give her a stinker of an evil eye, which Vala returns in exaggerated form. 'I didn't exactly know they'd be bargaining for our lives when Landry had his swearing in ceremony for teams twenty through fifteen hundred all of three days ago, did I?'
'No,' Vala answers, settling for that as a retort and pointedly turning her back on the tiny slit of a view Daniel is hogging.
'Well, this sucks,' Cam states.
There's a general round of hhmph-indeed-shhhh! that translates to agreement and they go back to waiting.
---
one week and six days before the day
Cam gives the tired-looking lieutenant with SG-26 on his patch a clap on the arm while the younger man helps him to his feet.
'Sounded nasty,' Cam fishes. He'd thank the officer for sticking it out for ten hours of mind-numbing negotiations and language crash courses with his unfed team but they aren't out of there yet.
(Later, at the end of January, they will. They will take out the team of recruits who make them feel ancient, beat them soundly at pool (Teal'c), get them blind drunk (Vala, Cam, who knows) and will be surprised when SG-26 thanks them for it, as nobody knows how anybody else got home.)
In the cell, though, Vala is standing up and realising that, oh yes, there really is a little bit of a break or a nick or a something in her left leg, barely noticed before because it was folded up beneath her for forty hours and numb like the rest of her. She thinks it's a break - or maybe it's a break in the ankle. Or something. All she can really discern precisely is that it hurts an awful lot.
She takes one look at the four clean-shaven team members (translator has glasses - why do they all have glasses?), the gathered clan of intimidating men with spears, which would be less intimidating if they had any weapons between them at all, and her teammates. It's just about then, while Lt. Stanley is thanking the clan for releasing Earth's mighty, strongest warriors, that she realises she's going to have to walk on her somewhat painful leg until they're out of view of the fort to maintain the ungodly illusion.
Right, then, she thinks, fixing her eyes somewhere between Daniel's back and his backside, and walks. And walks.
When the inky puddles over her eyes clear up, Vala sees the team discreetly taking stock of the others in the clearing. Two of SG-26 watch for inquisitive clansmen checking on them. Daniel is limping on his right leg, Teal'c is easing off his shoulders from being squeezed in a cell too small and Cameron looks pained but determined while handing out the energy bars to everyone else first. It's not the worst state they've trudged home in, Vala judges, although they've been an awful lot better. And they've trudged home through woods with paths, unlike this one, which is solid green-green-vine-puddle with a canopy so thick as to blot out most of the light.
Daniel falls into step approximately beside her, mouth quirking up at the corners somewhere under pale skin and wide-brimmed hat. 'Do you remember the team-building athletics day?'
'If you mean General O'Neill's mad parents and children picnic-' Vala grins and pushes her hair back. It's soaked through from the air in the jungle.
'I do,' Daniel nods and Vala remembers the way Daniel could name most of the children running around screaming, the way Jack had flown in especially to drag Cassie along since she was on spring break anyway. Or rather, Sam had explained by email, Jack had flown in to drag Cassie along because she was on spring break.
Daniel glances at Vala's leg with a raised eyebrow and she laughs. 'We'd lose. We'd lose against six year olds and everyone would see and we'd never ever hear the end of it.'
'She's right,' Cam puts in from behind them, swatting the thick air out of the way and seemingly restraining himself from asking if they're there yet - he knows it's two kilometres yet, just like the rest of them with handy Air Force watches and decent memories. 'Just so you know.'
Still, even Teal'c looks amused by the idea of Vala and Daniel being the world's worst three-legged race team. It's easy enough to imagine when he slings an arm around her waist to help her across an overgrown fallen tree and happens to leave it there.
---
one week and five days before the day
'I don't know, I still like these ones better.'
'Yeah, but you have to eat first or else the stomach acid-'
'Because eating has always been a problem for you. I've seen those care packages, Cameron.'
'The mess will have a meal prepared soon. If we could postpone discussion of eating until such a time-'
There's a familiar laugh from the direction of the door. Vala would go and leap on the laughing person, but she's currently being splinted and plastered for a broken ankle. Dr. Lam glares with all the ire of a thwarted corset seamstress as she experimentally lifts her unplastered leg at the edge of the bed.
'I brought a trolley,' Sam announces to the general area, trusting they're in it despite the sea of white curtains. 'It has food on it.'
'See, now I'll be happy to see you,' Daniel calls back.
---
one week and four days before the day
'And you'll-'
'Yes.'
'Okay, it's under th- my bed. In my quarters.'
Cam pauses at the door of the mess, nearly empty but for Jackson and Vala and a strange folder sitting between them.
Jackson smiles as if she's made a joke and Vala makes an affronted noise before pointing. 'This will be the tricky one.'
---
one week and three days before the day
Cam blinks when Vala drops a pile of paper on top of his empty report-sheet. He was getting to it, it's on the tip of his tongue to protest; Vala doesn't care. 'It's important,' is all she says, leaving on crutches and humming something suspiciously like 'Good King Wenceslas'.
He stares at it before realising not only is it bound, but it has the proper 'TOP SECRET' stamps all over it and everything. It's got to be the first time. He even considers whether borderless frames are tacky nowadays.
ATTN: Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell
CC: Lt. Col. Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Teal'c (consulting).
BCC:
The 'bcc' line immediately arouses his suspicions. It means that somewhere in an underground hole of an office as much like the Mountain as he can make it, a three-star general is chartering an Air Force plane with a gleeful grin all should fear. And Cameron doesn't even know why yet.
CONTENTS:
1. Meteorological causes
2. Temporal realities
a.) according to Dr. Carter
b.) according to [various]
3. Logistics of operation: inc. electronics, procurement, etc.
4. Optimal success plan: Alpha
APPENDIX
1. Emails - note: redacted for source confidentiality
2. Scanned formulae
Cam almost - almost - hits his head off of his oft-abandoned desk. Because although he'll claim to have no idea what it is, he knows. Oh, he knows. He just didn't expect it to be so thorough or so thoroughly, utterly unavoidable, and not even 'unavoidable' like an impending apocalypse - oh no, this is the real thing.
It's a dossier on Vala's perfect Christmas and how she's going to bully them into thinking it's a fantastic idea. It's complete with cross-referenced dates of expected snowfall, Sam's time Earthside ('temporal realities' Cam's ass) and intricately organised and collated lists of their favourite food and drink (Cam does not have a 'propensity' for brandy). This is followed by instructions to Teal'c to locate suitable music for the 'ambience', Cam to bring his Wii on pain of death or hunger if forgotten, and Daniel to bring absolutely none of his CDs. Sam, apparently, can do almost anything that she likes about decor, because Vala 'trusts her taste' (Cam's not insulted. He's not.)
He skips The Plan as it'll all go to Hell by 10am whatever he does and promptly drops the report. The appendix turns out to be scanned recipes, flyers for supermarket offers and largely blacked-out emails from Sam, dates of arrival and departure and events she's attending left intact only. Which leaves a lot of black and a lot of Cam staring suspiciously because seriously, what. How many pages could 'how are you - fine thanks - yay' fill? He holds it up to the light before remembering that's wrong and that Vala's crafty enough to have made sure it wouldn't work.
That leaves one thing to do. It's a long shot - the longest of the long shots, if the dinner in the mess was anything to go by - but he has to try.
Jackson jumps when Cam's pack interrupts his reading of-
'Oh, you've got one.'
Daniel looks up and rubs his eye. 'I'm still confused about when we're giving gifts. Maybe I should send Vala an email- and somebody should make sure and bring Landry and Dr. Lam.' Cam has already thought about talking to Carolyn about carpooling, when not concocting evil schemes to get out of the whole thing.
Cam blinks and sits down opposite him, shaking his head. 'No, no, Jackson - we've got to fight this. It's - it's Christmas facism. If we do this, the Christmas Nazi wins.'
The other man seems to be amused. Cam doesn't know why. 'And you think we stand the slightest chance? That if we don't do something now, when we're all on enforced base time anyway, you won't walk into your flat some sunny July day and find it covered in fairy lights?'
He takes that in. Because she probably would. With a sigh, he looks at Daniel again. 'Not fairy lights. Expressly banned in large quantities in section three F.'
Daniel, the traitor, just grins.
---
one week and two days before the day
'Favourite New Year this year?'
It's Sam's turn to ask a question. She chooses Daniel to answer.
'PD8 46W,' Daniel answers, picking the small but deadly glass of vile-coloured liquid, wincing and downing it while they all shout encouraging and informative things in his direction about what he's drinking. 'But I wish they'd make their moonshine out of something else.' He blanches at the aftertaste and reaches for the water jug. 'God, make that anything else.' They watch as he looks around the circle clustered around Vala's bed and Sam swears she sees a ghost of a smirk for the briefest second. 'Vala? Same question.'
'I couldn't possibly,' is the swift reply. 'I'm on painkillers. Isn't that right, doctor?'
Vala nudges Carolyn, who has elected to join them because apparently, Cam has been talking up the New Year's Eve gathering for about six months while she stuck him with various needles.
Carolyn shakes her head with pursed lips and a wicked look. 'Nope. You know, I think that prescription ran out yesterday morning and I suggested more garden variety pain relief if you ever need it. So unless you've been raiding my infirmary-'
'PD8 46W,' Vala interjects with a glance at the ceiling and raising a hand. She appears not to be able to meet Daniel's eyes as he puts the tiny glass of what amounts to chili vodka into her hand and pats it encouragingly.
It's a game that Cam started the year he joined the team largely because he's a child and they've all told him so, but they play anyway - they've precious little else to do on New Year's Eve for the most part.
One table is laid out with a bottle of contraband alcohol from each planet they've been invited to a New Year's party on. Then they ask a question, answer it and have to take a drink. Sam pointed out this was illogical as surely you'd take a drink instead of answering a question. Cam responded that it depended on the goal of the thing: if you wanted to learn more about your teammates, she was right. If you wanted to get everybody drunk as soon as possible, they'd be playing it Cam's way, and his way, nobody had to be honest. This year, there's been fifteen planetary festivals and they'd grabbed a bottle or two from each.
It ends just like the first year, the year Vala wasn't there, and the second, the year Sam wasn't there. The third time the team drink to Earth's New Year they don't notice it's come and gone until it's four am and Daniel's passed out, this time in the big chair by Vala's bed.
---
one week before the day
Cam spends most of the morning complaining that Vala can't shop for her own Christmas supplies and that if she really wanted all the exacting things on the list, she should do it on the internet. Except, when it comes down to it, they all get bizarrely into it, going around the aisles as if it's a recon and lives are at stake, comparing boxes with pictures in folders and checking them off with pens Vala has attached to the same folders. Between the way it feels like a game show and the way they keep stopping for ridiculously bad coffees, Sam suspects they'll be running in circles with shaking hands by closing time.
The staff are all obscenely nice to them, except in the local florist. But even that's okay because Vala's put in a handwritten footnote that just says, 'Brunette is snobby and will offer Cameron carnations. Don't do it.' Sam is convinced that everyone thinks they're the world's most conspicuous quality control mystery shopping team or a TV crew. It doesn't stop her making a mental note to take a clipboard on intimidating shopping expeditions to ensure better service.
However, Daniel is being too quiet.
Four supermarkets in and two stops to go, Sam can appreciate the motivation. And yet it's not his why am I not with my books? This is confusing quiet. It's a focused thing he's doing with a folder and ticky boxes.
'What next?' Sam asks, loading the bags into the back of the car.
'Tablecloth,' Teal'c answers, looking up from his own folder. 'Am I correct?'
The question is addressed to Daniel, whose folder is significantly thicker than those allocated to the others. Sam wonders what Vala had to say to him about groceries that doubled the page count.
'It's three blocks down and on the right,' Daniel looks up, squints and gets in the passenger seat of Teal'c's large car. 'If we can't see it straight off, there's a picture of the storefront in here.'
There's a beat of silence while Cam looks at Sam and she looks back and the last time she tried not to laugh this hard, it was in high school and bananas were involved.
'Daniel,' Cam starts and the look on his face is so innocent that Sam can't help but worry, 'has Vala hacked your internet and found things you don't want us to know about?'
'I don't think so,' is the distracted answer. Which, really, doesn't help them any. 'She's been in physio for the ankle for the last week, so I don't know when she'd get the chance.'
Sam looks around, wondering which of them will crack first. 'What about- you know, when she made the Christmas mission files?'
And that's it for Cam. He cracks on the word 'files' and laughs silently, looking up to see Daniel frowning a little in the rear view mirror and loses it again.
'Oh, this? You weren't meant to see those. She's been planning it for months - said it helped her "research Earth culture,"' Daniel replies in the same tone, eyes on the papers. 'It was going to be her present for the team but you know, crutches.'
Teal'c blinks and remembers he's driving while Sam and Cam share some guilty looks.
'I think she's enjoying this about as much,' Daniel continues as if they aren't being conspicuously, desperately silent, 'You know, ordering everyone around. You know what she's like.'
And yeah, they do know what she's like, and while that includes words Sam won't say in front of Cassie (still), Vala also goes and does some things like this. And damn him, Sam thinks, because he knows exactly what he's saying and it explains about forty percent of Sam's inbox. She makes a mental note to phone Washington and warn Jack that laughing at Vala's super-planning is absolutely, completely forbidden.
Later, Sam squints over Daniel's shoulder while deciding between green and red tablecloths (they buy both and change them when Jack spills sauce all over the first one).
'She gave me the original-' Daniel explains without looking up, sounding amused. 'I decided the polka-dot pink folder could stay at the mountain for a day. Don't tell Vala.'
Sam grins and points at the taped-in pictures from magazines, some lined up under columns headed with 'THIS YES - NOT THIS.' 'I knew girls who did this for their wedding. Can you imagine if Vala has a wedding?'
Daniel's smile is a little tight and she could swear he's gone a bit pale. Sam smirks.
---
six days before the day
Being not allowed to undertake offworld missions doesn't stop the disasters coming to them. Apparently, those can also be ordered for home delivery.
Vala is hobbling around Sam's (stolen) lab, a second pair of hands and assistant on a truly spectacular patch job they're doing to save SG-8, trapped offworld by a line of code buried somewhere in the gate's dialing programme interface.
'Hardwire these things often on the Hammond?' Vala shouts over while Cam hands her a surprisingly mundane spanner. He's currently her Go Get Thing X lackey, having let Teal'c and Daniel go get something to eat.
'You'd be shocked the things a space captain has to do nowadays,' Sam replies with a quick grin and consoling look to Cam, 'Sometimes I feel like some kind of pirate.'
Ten minutes later, Sam declares it finished just as there's a phone call telling them SG-8's previously safe position is under fire. 'What next?' Vala asks as Teal'c and Daniel walk back in.
Sam lifts the device they've put together - a bottle green board of small plugs that looks suspiciously like a toy. 'We replace this into the faulty panel. It has enough power to override the subroutine stopping SG-8 getting through without blowing up the server, which has to be done directly because I made it completely tamper-proof in the first place. It should also filter for more lines like it and stop them when it's done that.'
'Will you need me?' Vala asks as Sam slips the panel into a food bag.
Sam pauses and nods. 'Maybe. I'll run. Can you-'
'Muscles?' Vala asks as Sam starts off for the elevators and the servers. He looks to Daniel and Cam.
'You are of a more even height,' he says and follows Sam.
Vala grins at them, 'So I'm always saying,' as they put an arm around each of her sides and start to go as fast as they can. The basketball pays off - they're neatly in step and Vala doesn't get a concussion from any walls or floors. They change to use their hands to form a seat under her in the elevator and then really run to the server room.
Teal'c stands back from holding delicate tools in place as they arrive, Sam nodding to Vala, who stands on one leg with her shoulder against the server box and dives in with the mini-spanner.
'I'm on the wires. Red going into sixteen through twenty one.'
Sam nods and swears at the time it's taking. 'SG-8?'
Teal'c relays the question to the gateroom through his radio, being the only one to have one still attached.
'They are still under fire with no casualties so far.'
'Good, we just need-' Vala starts, biting her lip.
'-that,' Sam finishes, nodding to Teal'c and pulling Vala back as the hackjob starts to spark and the server starts to whir. 'Try it now!'
'Thought you said it wouldn't overload!' Cam shouts over the sound of popping and hissing.
'I remember that very specifically!' Daniel chimes in.
'It's not overloading!' Sam and Vala shout back. They look at each other. 'Yet,' Vala adds.
'The team have dialed in,' Teal'c informs them.
They wait. And then the server whirs and slows - Sam throws Teal'c a look. 'They've shut down the gate - did they get through?'
When Teal'c nods, there's a moment where everybody finds a surface and leans on it, not noticing that Vala chooses Daniel's left bicep for the purpose.
---
four days before
'So I hear you're working on your leave. Again.'
'Yes, working on leave, even with a broken ankle,' Vala answers with a positively vicious grin. It's worth it for Sam's face, realising instantly who has to be on the other end of the lab phone.
'Ah, Vala-' Jack O'Neill drags out, 'I heard about that. Maybe next time you'll let the nice men throw you in the cell with the rest of the team without hooking your foot on the door.'
'Or I could not,' Vala retorts, 'Anyway, you'll be arriving at Samantha's house by two at the latest, won't you?'
'Provided I don't have to go billions of miles away on a fast commute-' Vala's seen the Destiny reports and would rather never get much closer than that, having had enough out of body experiences for a lifetime - 'I should make it. Does Carter know I'm coming?'
Vala's still downright annoyed about that one. 'If I hadn't broken my ankle, none of them would have.'
It's at this point Sam claims the phone. 'Don't work too hard or else you'll end up like Carter and Daniel' is Jack's last, probably deliberately, because Sam's first is, 'I heard that. Sir.'
---
three days before the day
Cam sees them coming back, waits in the mess with Vala, her mouth a little tighter than normal, and is surprised. To his knowledge, nobody's ever told Vala where Teal'c, Daniel and Sam go near or on Christmas - there are some things that belong to them. Except it seems that this year, someone has.
While Cam and Vala ate in the mess and got on with paperwork and physio, they went with Cassie to put flowers on a well-kept memorial and to visit a girl named Janet.
Nobody says anything when they sit back down until Sam asks how long the coffee's been sitting and how terrible it is.
---
the day before
Daniel hears a knock on the door of office and looks up to see Cam in the doorway. 'So who's driving Vala over tomorrow? I know the general and Carolyn are going with Teal'c.'
He yawns. 'I've hours left on this-'
'-on that recreational activity which clearly complies with our orders to rest?' Cam interjects raising an eyebrow.
'Of course,' Daniel replies, each word weighted like a lead balloon. 'So you can head off. I'll be here in the morning. I keep clothes here anyway.'
Cam bites back that he keeps a mini-apartment between his locker and quarters but thinks better of it.
Vala is sitting up when he stops by, foot on the bed and the rest of her in the chair with a book.
'So Daniel's going to drive you over tomorrow.'
Vala barely blinks. 'Okay. Thanks for sorting that.' She looks at Cam and narrows her eyes. 'Can you help me up?'
Now working his way up to freaked out by the pod people, Cam approaches slowly and takes her arms to pull her to her one working foot.
And sees a hoodie over the back of the chair. One that's far too big for Vala. Because of course, he thinks, joining up a string of dots, emails, lists and assorted other memories. Memories like wondering why Vala would be reading a report on soil samples from P4D 26X and why it would be on her bedside table. Jackson keeps clothes here anyway.
He swallows and Vala grins at him, full and bright, before kissing him on the cheek. 'One of the things we all love about you is that you're the soul of discretion, Cameron Mitchell.'
He can't help blushing as she falls back onto the bed and tosses him a Christmas card. 'I don't know why, I'll see you on the day anyway, but apparently, friends and co-workers are supposed to.'
Cam bites his lower lip. 'They all know, don't they?'
'Not because we've told them,' is the smart answer, 'well, except-'
'Sam,' Cam says, realising that wanting his head to meet hard surfaces is getting familiar, 'by email.'
Vala grins.
Later, after a hard-fought match of a card game Vala's fond of, and without asking why she's bothering to stay up when she's clearly done in for the day, he leaves.
And drops by Daniel's office to throw a balled-up piece of paper at him. 'We're assembling at 0900 to decorate the house,' Cam grins, 'so you'd better stop keeping people up.'
---
the day
Holy shit, Cam thinks, apologises mentally and thinks again because he hadn't meant that everybody knew. But everybody knows.
Even, apparently, the two generals. Who are circumspectly ignoring the way Vala's sitting on Daniel's knee, having tripped backwards 'because of her ankle' and stayed there. Who have already ignored the many expensive, personal and intimate gifts like the delicate charm bracelet on Vala's wrist with the matching necklace. He wants desperately to point out that men do not buy friends jewelry like that and that women do not pick jewelry like that for their friends to buy.
He may also tell Vala to work on her Surprised Face. You know, for missions. Because the difference between the clearly expected necklace and the charm bracelet had been somewhat obvious.
Maybe it's some sort of Secret Relationship Christmas amnesty or something, he thinks, looking around, something SG-1 do on occasions and he hasn't picked up on it yet. Or maybe the generals know fine well they'd all go hopelessly insane and take other people with them on other teams. Or, well, something.
Then he goes with it because, really, what else is there to do?
---
the day, evening
Nobody even asks if poker is in the spirit of the thing. While Landry, O'Neill, Teal'c and Sam play, Cam and Carolyn do the dishes.
Cam cracks the window open - the heat in the kitchen is stifling - when Carolyn excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
'You know, I think we did good.'
'My idea, though.'
Vala's voice is indistinct around the edges: wine, maybe.
'Yeah, it was. We should do it every year.'
Cam shuts the window as quietly as he can.
---
the day, the evening, the outside
Vala slips out of the back door between games and before her turn on the dishes. Between the infirmary, the prison, the dinner and Daniel, she's barely had a minute alone in about three weeks.
She remembers why that is about ten minutes later, when she's had her fill of Alone Time (alone time that doesn't include a book anyway).
As if she'd shouted, Daniel opens the back door and takes the steps with his hands in his pockets. 'Cold out here,' he starts, slipping her jacket over her shoulders.
'Little bit,' Vala answers with a grin, sticking out her tongue to catch a bit of the light snow. It's gone by the time it hits the ground and it'll freeze through the night, but it's pretty enough to look at.
'You hiding from Jack's Tiny Tim jokes? Because they were sort of inevitable.'
She doesn't dignify that with a response that isn't a glare. And damn the infuriating man, he just grins back. They'd watched the Muppets' Christmas Carol with lunch - Vala had been both horrified and flattered. She'd also suddenly understood Jack's uncontrollable laughter from the minute he'd seen her still on crutches.
She takes a hand from a crutch and threads it through Daniel's, feeling his thumb find the flat back of her hand and make circles on it. Daniel tugs her lightly to lean against him in lieu of the crutch. 'Work out how you wanted it?
'Just about,' Vala nods, feeling his head lean just on the top of hers, 'I'd pictured more dancing -'
'What section was that in? I could have-' Daniel frowns.
Vala looks up to give him an incredulous look and he laughs. She shakes her head and mutters about being surrounded by men who think they're funny.
'I think we did good,' he says a minute later.
'My idea, though.'
---
'We should do fake Christmas every year,' Cam thumps a hand on the table as Sam eyes his tipping brandy glass with concern, 'even - oh yeah, I'm goin' there - even if we're Earthside on the day.'
Daniel coughs delicately into the ensuing silence, paper hat sliding over the top of his ear, as Teal'c casts a careful, deliberate glance at Vala.
Vala taps her fingers methodically on the Santa-themed tablecloth in the face of Cam's slack grin.
'I think, Cameron, I could live with that.'
---
epilogue
It's late, late, late o'clock and they're taking it in turns to switch in and out to get the dishes done in a very fair rota. The taking-turns thing they're so used to by this point that Vala didn't bother to write an actual rota.
Vala is chattering with Sam in a display of girliness hitherto unknown at the first opportunity Cam has to corner Daniel.
'So now I know why you didn't resist the Christmas invasion,' Cam accuses.
The television reference is lost on him. Daniel grins and shrugs, 'I was bowled over in wonder by her organisational skills?'
Cam could call that so many things, but it would be unseasonal.
'Yeah, whatever, Jackson. Next year, I'll -'
END