Memories From a Loving Grandson
Today is my grandma's memorial service. Her ashes will be placed next to my grandpa's grave in San Diego, overlooking the ocean.
I remember both of them dropping by my places in Mission Beach. We went for walks on the beach and shared Grandpa's stories of his years on the boats as we waited for sunsets. Right now, my brain has images of me between the two perched on The Stumps at Lido Court. I have my left arm around my grandma waiting for the green flash, knowing I am in one of those moments. We look at each other after the flash and smile. She lays her head against my shoulder briefly and makes that characteristic clicking noise she often let free when incredibly peaceful and happy. I lead them back to their car, say my goodbyes and I-love-yous and waive like it may be the last time I see them as they start their journey home.
I remember living in Texas and both of them visiting for months at a time to help out raising us hellions when my mother needed it the most. My brother and I would compete for my grandma's attention endlessly. My sister was so young and cute, it often seemed we had no chance with her in the room. Luckily for us, she didn't finish her meals. That was a quick way to my grandma's doghouse and she had a tough time making up for all of that wasted food that could have been better used by poor kids in China that didn't have food on their tables. My sister spent many years trying to finish every meal in front of her to get out of that house and she finally escaped in her 20s. My brother was extremely hyper when he was younger and for some reason that didn't set well with Grandma either. I, in contrast, could never do wrong in my grandma's eyes. Most of the family teased me for being her favorite, but I would force humility and refute the claim often. We were all loved equally for different qualities I believe and hope to be true. There was never a question of how much we all loved her, though. When those trips would have to come to a close, we would all try our best to make our grandparents miss their flights. I intentionally brushed against cactus and demanded medical attention for a perfect amount of time once. That kept them with us for a few more days. My entire immediate family successfully begged them to stay as we approached their airport terminal on a shuttle train another year. That bought us more precious time. Near the finale of every visit, we would try our hardest to keep them from leaving us and would often succeed.
As I ran to the yelling, I knew she was not going to make it. I saw her sitting down with her head slumping and my heart broke. I forced everyone aside and wrapped my arms around her to lower her to the floor so I could begin CPR. I began to pick her up and her head was once again on my shoulder. Her mouth was right next to my ear and I heard her last breath enter me. I've heard the death rattle with others, but not this time. This was clicking. I held her in my arms for what seemed like a minute and then lowered her to the ground. I tried CPR for over thirty minutes as we heard the ambulance search down wrong roads. My mom, dad, sister and I did everything we could, but we could not keep her here this time.
Goodbye Grandma.
I remember both of them dropping by my places in Mission Beach. We went for walks on the beach and shared Grandpa's stories of his years on the boats as we waited for sunsets. Right now, my brain has images of me between the two perched on The Stumps at Lido Court. I have my left arm around my grandma waiting for the green flash, knowing I am in one of those moments. We look at each other after the flash and smile. She lays her head against my shoulder briefly and makes that characteristic clicking noise she often let free when incredibly peaceful and happy. I lead them back to their car, say my goodbyes and I-love-yous and waive like it may be the last time I see them as they start their journey home.
I remember living in Texas and both of them visiting for months at a time to help out raising us hellions when my mother needed it the most. My brother and I would compete for my grandma's attention endlessly. My sister was so young and cute, it often seemed we had no chance with her in the room. Luckily for us, she didn't finish her meals. That was a quick way to my grandma's doghouse and she had a tough time making up for all of that wasted food that could have been better used by poor kids in China that didn't have food on their tables. My sister spent many years trying to finish every meal in front of her to get out of that house and she finally escaped in her 20s. My brother was extremely hyper when he was younger and for some reason that didn't set well with Grandma either. I, in contrast, could never do wrong in my grandma's eyes. Most of the family teased me for being her favorite, but I would force humility and refute the claim often. We were all loved equally for different qualities I believe and hope to be true. There was never a question of how much we all loved her, though. When those trips would have to come to a close, we would all try our best to make our grandparents miss their flights. I intentionally brushed against cactus and demanded medical attention for a perfect amount of time once. That kept them with us for a few more days. My entire immediate family successfully begged them to stay as we approached their airport terminal on a shuttle train another year. That bought us more precious time. Near the finale of every visit, we would try our hardest to keep them from leaving us and would often succeed.
As I ran to the yelling, I knew she was not going to make it. I saw her sitting down with her head slumping and my heart broke. I forced everyone aside and wrapped my arms around her to lower her to the floor so I could begin CPR. I began to pick her up and her head was once again on my shoulder. Her mouth was right next to my ear and I heard her last breath enter me. I've heard the death rattle with others, but not this time. This was clicking. I held her in my arms for what seemed like a minute and then lowered her to the ground. I tried CPR for over thirty minutes as we heard the ambulance search down wrong roads. My mom, dad, sister and I did everything we could, but we could not keep her here this time.
Goodbye Grandma.