Emotions are getting the best of me.
I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what emotions to act on and which ones to put in the back of my mind and forget about. Everything inside of me tells me not to take her back, but I know if she comes back I won't be strong enough. Every time I talk to her I just cry my eyes out. I start to talk and nothing comes out. I want to yell at her I want to tell her that she is nothing more than a screw up. Tell her that she will get no where in life unless she tries, but I am to nice. Everyone says Do something to take your mind off of it. There is nothing that does not remind me of her. We lived together for a year. My room was our room. My bed was our bed. My money was her money and her money was for CANCER STICKS!! I can't stand that she lied to me for a year and told me she wasn't doing it. All my money went to her I should have known where all her money went. I should have seen the signs. They were as clear as day but I was blinded by love. I know that there is a girl out there for me who will care for me and will not lie to me, but it still hurts that the person who I thought I would be with for the rest of my life LIED to me. I am scared of the future. I am scared of tomorrow and the next day. I am scared of what next year holds. I turn 19 in august. I am a year away from not being a teenager any more. That scares me. Nothing will ever come easy. I will always have to work for something but I hope this next something is worth working for. I can't wait till I find the person I will always be with.
Good to get stuff of my chest.
Good to get stuff of my chest.