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have you ever felt like everything that you do ends up in some horrible situation where nothing can come out of it in a plus. well i feel like everything i do lately is this exact situation, give or take. well i feel horrible, feelings wise, and i realize that i could have done things differently, or could i? feelings are a bitch and i wish i didnt have them unless they were good. my feelings effect the people around me and never for the better. why is this. why cant everyone just be cheery.. but lets look on the bright side, when we do feel good it seems that much better because the bads are bad and it makes the goods feel gooder. yes i love the one i love and i cant change that and i feel like that no matter what i do i will feel no different. not that i want to because i get this warm wanted feeling when i think about jaecy no matter what the hell i screw up. i just hope everything works itself the fuck out. FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.