Sep 24, 2003 18:54
Sorrow has come back into my life. Its vehemence is so strong that I find myself closing my eyes for hours at a time just so the days pass quicker. If these times are laden with closed eyelids, then my memories of them will be bearable. Think of it as being in a car. And your driving underneath overpasses. But there's thousands of them of them really close together. So maybe the radio station has Led Zep in regular rotation. And we're driving. Blackness, blackness, blackness, blackness, Mom's crying, blackness,blackness,blackness,blackness,blackness,a tall young boy is standing in front of a mirror, blackness,blackness, Dad's apologizing,blackness,blackness,blackness,blackness,everything's finally okay,blackness,doctors appointments are being made to see if you have it too, blackness,blackness, another confession proves the past to be lie, blackness,blackness,blackness, "he needs sex!", blackness,blackness.
At least the atmosphere in the car is lukewarm and mildly comforting. But there's this pain in my head, this longing for something like an absinthe.
Diagnosis: typical teenage angst.
Wrong.
My virginity is still right where I left. Why can't I lose that shit?