Some thoughts
So… I’ve been hearing a lot of talk from people on my flist or people I’m following about SUPERNATURAL.
Basically it comes down to this: SUPERNATURAL had a nice run but we’re done with it.
Now to be honest I haven’t really been into SUPERNATURAL since seasons 4 finale. Sure I creamed my pants at how brilliant it was! but I was also a bit sad, cause it would have been a great ending to a wonderful show. And I had the feeling that everything after that? Would have been less.
Now I’m not saying that I don’t like SUPERNATURAL anymore, I still watch it. But I’m not into it like I used to be.
And I always was more into the RPF.. Still am. But still, I see more and more people leaving this fandom. And I’m kind of sad.
I started reading fic at the OC fandom. Sure the show wasn’t really all that but the fiction was cool. But after the show ended the fandom kind of fell apart. I would hate to see this happen to the SUPERNATURAL fandom.
Now on a side note, what fandom’s are you currently involved in?
Also, this a little fic I wrote. I spend half a year trying to give it a happy ending, without success. But what isn’t yet can still become right? (If that even makes sense)
Title: goodbye
Paring: J2,
rating: none
genre: angst
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Jensen asks carefully as Jared sit on the couch quietly.
He knows he dropped a bomb on the other man. Know that he probably broke not only Jared’s heart but his own too with the words he spoke. But it is like he said, he had been carrying this around too long. They had tried to make this work too hard.
“You sound like you have it thought out well,” Jared says his voice trembling a bit.
This, this is the part that Jensen didn’t anticipated. Jared was just rolling with the punches, he let Jensen lash out and tell him that it just wasn’t working between the two of them. Jared wasn’t even putting up a fight.
“Yeah,” Jensen says standing there looking at Jared, feeling lost.
“What do you want me to say Jen?” Jared asks angrily, “you want me to beg you not to go? Want me to tell you that I need you? You know I want you with me Jen but I don’t need you.”
Jensen turns away from the anger in the voice of the man he once loved.
“You’re, you’re just letting go?’ it hurt knowing that Jared let this go so easily. It took Jensen months before he could admit to himself that things were over between him and Jared.
“Jensen,” Jared sighs and Jensen turns around to see tears dripping down the other man’s face,” I would fight for you, if I thought it would work. But you told me you’ve been walking around with this for months and you didn’t even tell me. Seems to me that you don’t really want to make it work anymore.”
Jensen heart constricts, that wasn’t true. He had tried. He knew he wasn’t right for falling out of love with this man before him. Jared was the most sweet and caring man he had ever met. He was loving and open and let anyone into his heart. Jensen knew he was stupid for letting go of this, it was just that he didn’t love Jared anymore. The spark between them was gone, and it had settled into contentment. He wasn’t with Jared anymore because his heart could bare staying away. No he was with Jared because it was safe. He couldn’t do that to himself, he couldn’t do that to Jared.
Jared sighs, “it seems like you’re the one not fighting for me,” he says standing up to get the suitcase.
Jensen feels a dull ache in his heart when he sees Jared standing at the door with the suitcase in hand. He knows he is the one sending him away, knows the pain he’s feeling is nothing but his own fault. Jared just looks at him defeat in his eyes.
“You know this isn’t over Jensen. Jensen you’re my one true love. There will never be anyone else for me,” Jared says reaching for the doorknob.
A small part of Jensen hopes that Jared will stay. That he will turn around, repeat his words and hug Jensen close, comforting both. But he doesn’t and Jensen knows it is for the best. He doesn’t love Jared anymore.
As he hears the soft click of the door closing Jensen breathes in deep and tells himself that Jared will be fine, Jared will find someone else and be happy again. Jensen walks back into the room wiping the tears from his eyes, this just wasn’t meant to be. It was time to say goodbye.