I'm guilty of this one (actually all lah)
Na i loved ur lastest post... and it really hit home... at least for me. Was the post indirectly for me anyway??? hahaha... whther it's yes or no, thanks for writing those words of wisdom. And so i'm going to cut and paste it for my blog entry today... just so that I have your words here to remind me that I'm good and I'm not as shitty as I think i am. And for those of my friends who (still) read this blog of mine.
"- went for mass at holy cross today, and during the homily the priest said that the 7 deadly sins or whatever they're called haha, greed, sloth, envy, etc only leave us 15 mins after we die, and i thk it is damn true lah! all of us are afflicted by them in some way or another, and sigh wouldn't the world be a better place without them? i think what i hate the most is being ridden with self-pity and self-doubt, (does tt come under lust and envy? ) cos i feel it myself and see it everywhere, and it's really a powerful and extremely shitty emotion to have lah! we always think we are less than we truly are, and when people tell u otherwise, u don't believe them cos u thk that they don't understand, and u thk u're the only one who truly knows how lousy u really are, and isn't that sad because everyone can see that u r truly a gem apart from u yourself? i thk it's a cruel cruel joke and i don't know if anyone even knows what i'm talking about cos i don't even know what i'm typing but this is what i feel, i just suck at putting things into words dammit! u see ur friends putting themselves down and not having any faith in themselves, and u want to help and tell them HELLO ARE U BLIND U R FREAKING TALENTED AND SMART WHAT THE HELL ARE U TALKING ABOUT but u know they won't listen and arrrrggggghhhhhhh it is just a vicious cycle i tell u!!!!! so friends who are reading this, i just want u all to know that i thk u are all amazing people, so don't thk u are not worthy of anything or anyone because hello that is just insane! it's just difficult to look past the layers of self-doubt sometimes! i think they should have a cure for these afflictions dammit, just pop a pill, and tadah! u'll be brimming with self-confidence and faith in urself haha! i'll be first in line lor dammit wahahahaa........."
I think it's a cruel joke too. And yes you're right no one can help me except myself and it just freaking sucks cos I'm not doing anything to help myself except to be aware of just how low in the pits i am. Your words almost made me cry la.. simply because I really can't see past my own failures to see the goodness in me. Argh. It just sucks for myself to know that I'm not the best in class and I cannot be the best in class cos there are so many straight A freaks in my class. I know I really should just try my best and be the best I can be and if I do that then I know for sure I won't be at the bottom of my class. That's a promise I'll make to you ok? Thanks dearie. *hugz*