Critical Mass > Sex
Dustin: The Missing Pieces: Episode 2: Pine Wood Derby.
When I was in cub scouts, I think my first year, I was probably 5 or 6, I participated in the Pine Wood Derby. This event is where the cub scout makes a wooden car model and then races it with the other scouts. For some reason, that year, we were asked to make card board cars that we wore and had to run a race. So we did, and I came in 3rd place. But Joe Strohecker had would have been in 3rd, but he tripped and fell. So they decided to give him 3rd place and me nothing. I wonder why my parents to didn't throw a fit. Then on the car ride home, either me or my sister threw up Hawaiian Punch in the car.
Finis.
Yesterday Doug and I participated in Critical Mass. What is critical mass you may ask? Well according to the wikipedia page:
Critical Mass is an event typically held on the last Friday of every month in cities around the world where bicyclists and, less frequently, unicyclists, skateboarders, inline skaters, roller skaters and other self-propelled commuters take to the streets en masse. While the ride was originally founded with the idea of drawing attention to how unfriendly the city was to bicyclists, the leaderless structure of Critical Mass makes it impossible to assign it any one specific goal. In fact, the purpose of Critical Mass is not formalized beyond the direct action of meeting at a set location and time and traveling as a group through city streets.
Doug and I met at city hall alittle bit before 6. There were a lot of other biker there. There was also a cop car and every time someone would get on their bike, the cop would yell "Off the bike!" on the megaphone, because you are not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk and stuff. Boooo. Thankfully, the cop drove off. Alan was supposed to meet us, but he missed us. I think he said he got hit by a bus. Ah! So he met up with us later in the night.
So the mass began. We took 3 laps around city hall. For those of you unfamiliar with Philly, for some reason, they built city hall in the middle of the fucking road. So you have to drive in a square to get around it. We went around it. It was kinda difficult. For one, it was rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon. And 2nd, there were about 3 other bikers about 4 inches away from me. So it was fun weaving through the traffic. And it was really fun when Alan called me and I tried to talk to him and ride my bike.
After the 3rd lap we went down to broad street. At each intersection, some people would stop the traffic so the whole group could go through. This is called "corking". Some car driver's would get mad and blow their horn or yell. It was pretty awesome.
Then we turned on to South Street. At one intersection a cop car pulled up and the cop was yelling or something. I was wondering what was going to happen, but everybody just kept going. Nice. We headed up 7th and this bus behind us was pretty mad. Next we headed on Market street and then up 5th. There is a tunnel that goes underneath a road on 5th. I was pretty excited when I saw we were going to going through this tunnel. Everyone flew down it and yelled.
Next we went back down Spring Garden. This is when Moyer and Alan both called me and I had to try to talk to them and ride again. Then Doug and I were talking and we hear a wham! Some kid hit a parked car! And then the car's alarm went off! It was really hilarious.
We went across broad, having gone in a big square. We cut down 17th and made a lap around Rittenhouse park. Another guy wiped out, but this time it was serious, but I think he was ok. We headed down Walnut, across the bridge and into University City. We went through this park, which was kinda hard because there were a lot of people walking. We went up over this hill and I just about hit a guy. Then we kept going west. Doug and I realized we would headed past the bar we go to for Bluegrass, on 45th street. Wow, you can see this was quite a long ride.
We headed east on market and then weaved our way to the art museum. We did a lap around the front yard, and then everyone picked up their bike and ran up the art museum stairs and then lifted the bike above their head. Some old woman got very concerned.
Old woman: what are you planning on doing?
me: uhh.. I don't know.
woman: why is everyone lifting their bike?
Me: like Rocky.
woman: oh.
Then there were these 2 pillar things with a chain between them. This one kid was riding his bike and didn't see it and fell off his bike. I think it was the same kid who hit the car. haha.
So Critical Mass was pretty awesome. There were about 100 people or so. The entire time there was this group of guys who were making jokes and yelling at people. It was hilarious. It was a great act of protest.
Apparently there is an event called "Critical Manners". It's every 2nd Friday of the month, but instead they follow all the traffic rules, like stopping at intersections and stuff. LAME!!!
http://www.philamass.org/index.php
When I was in cub scouts, I think my first year, I was probably 5 or 6, I participated in the Pine Wood Derby. This event is where the cub scout makes a wooden car model and then races it with the other scouts. For some reason, that year, we were asked to make card board cars that we wore and had to run a race. So we did, and I came in 3rd place. But Joe Strohecker had would have been in 3rd, but he tripped and fell. So they decided to give him 3rd place and me nothing. I wonder why my parents to didn't throw a fit. Then on the car ride home, either me or my sister threw up Hawaiian Punch in the car.
Finis.
Yesterday Doug and I participated in Critical Mass. What is critical mass you may ask? Well according to the wikipedia page:
Critical Mass is an event typically held on the last Friday of every month in cities around the world where bicyclists and, less frequently, unicyclists, skateboarders, inline skaters, roller skaters and other self-propelled commuters take to the streets en masse. While the ride was originally founded with the idea of drawing attention to how unfriendly the city was to bicyclists, the leaderless structure of Critical Mass makes it impossible to assign it any one specific goal. In fact, the purpose of Critical Mass is not formalized beyond the direct action of meeting at a set location and time and traveling as a group through city streets.
Doug and I met at city hall alittle bit before 6. There were a lot of other biker there. There was also a cop car and every time someone would get on their bike, the cop would yell "Off the bike!" on the megaphone, because you are not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk and stuff. Boooo. Thankfully, the cop drove off. Alan was supposed to meet us, but he missed us. I think he said he got hit by a bus. Ah! So he met up with us later in the night.
So the mass began. We took 3 laps around city hall. For those of you unfamiliar with Philly, for some reason, they built city hall in the middle of the fucking road. So you have to drive in a square to get around it. We went around it. It was kinda difficult. For one, it was rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon. And 2nd, there were about 3 other bikers about 4 inches away from me. So it was fun weaving through the traffic. And it was really fun when Alan called me and I tried to talk to him and ride my bike.
After the 3rd lap we went down to broad street. At each intersection, some people would stop the traffic so the whole group could go through. This is called "corking". Some car driver's would get mad and blow their horn or yell. It was pretty awesome.
Then we turned on to South Street. At one intersection a cop car pulled up and the cop was yelling or something. I was wondering what was going to happen, but everybody just kept going. Nice. We headed up 7th and this bus behind us was pretty mad. Next we headed on Market street and then up 5th. There is a tunnel that goes underneath a road on 5th. I was pretty excited when I saw we were going to going through this tunnel. Everyone flew down it and yelled.
Next we went back down Spring Garden. This is when Moyer and Alan both called me and I had to try to talk to them and ride again. Then Doug and I were talking and we hear a wham! Some kid hit a parked car! And then the car's alarm went off! It was really hilarious.
We went across broad, having gone in a big square. We cut down 17th and made a lap around Rittenhouse park. Another guy wiped out, but this time it was serious, but I think he was ok. We headed down Walnut, across the bridge and into University City. We went through this park, which was kinda hard because there were a lot of people walking. We went up over this hill and I just about hit a guy. Then we kept going west. Doug and I realized we would headed past the bar we go to for Bluegrass, on 45th street. Wow, you can see this was quite a long ride.
We headed east on market and then weaved our way to the art museum. We did a lap around the front yard, and then everyone picked up their bike and ran up the art museum stairs and then lifted the bike above their head. Some old woman got very concerned.
Old woman: what are you planning on doing?
me: uhh.. I don't know.
woman: why is everyone lifting their bike?
Me: like Rocky.
woman: oh.
Then there were these 2 pillar things with a chain between them. This one kid was riding his bike and didn't see it and fell off his bike. I think it was the same kid who hit the car. haha.
So Critical Mass was pretty awesome. There were about 100 people or so. The entire time there was this group of guys who were making jokes and yelling at people. It was hilarious. It was a great act of protest.
Apparently there is an event called "Critical Manners". It's every 2nd Friday of the month, but instead they follow all the traffic rules, like stopping at intersections and stuff. LAME!!!
http://www.philamass.org/index.php