(no subject)

[dustygreymoth]

hi everyone.
long time, I won't be long.

I just don't know what to do.
My home life kind of sucks more, I've been even more reduced to being a maid. Well I am latin.
I cry uncontrollably at the mounting guilt in my stomach that I can't tell mom the truth about how she makes me feel, I just want her to help me out god damnit.
I cry because I don't want to be the parent.
And yet I feel like except for the financial part, I always was my own parent.
And that just makes me feel very lonely inside.

The other side tipping the scales, is him.
I don't know how to react to him anymore.
He's something so tremondously wonderful, that I'm afraid to lose him so.
I don't think I'd be able to bare this weight anymore.
Ever since he's come around, he's filled in all the places that I had to take over.
He compliments me like a puzzle piece.
I'm starting to wonder if there were gaps in my life that didn't need to be filled, but were actually there because he had the corresponding shape.
I don't know, I don't want to jinx this.

I hope.