flail
So Gordon came by and said "How are you feeling?"
I had a bit of a panicked expression. "I was just thinking about knocking some things off my to-do list."
"Well, what's wrong with that?"
"That made me think about my to-do list!"
My to-do list has a number of big, stressful tasks on it--as a primary example, applying for Canadian citizenship--and it just feels overwhelming. The whole list kind of swarms around my head and my attempting to write one email, research one task, or make a phone call or whatever feels like trying to swat one fly in an enormous swarm, instead of doing the sensible thing and fleeing the swarm to somewhere that has cake and alcohol.
I don't know if it's teething again or what but the last few nights have been awful for sleep. Sleep deprivation is torture. I feel like shouting "YES! I DID IT! IT WAS ME, I'M THE MURDERER! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE BODIES ARE BURIED, JUST LET ME HAVE A NAP!"
Soooo why am I writing on LJ instead of going to sleep? Well, two things.
1. I am a night owl by nature, and even being insanely tired hasn't made much of a dent in my natural inclination to go to bed late and get up late. Gordon is the opposite, he's a lark by nature, and it doesn't matter how tired HE is, he can't sleep in beyond, like, 9am, and he can fall asleep at 9pm no problem.
2. I associate bed with "bad place where the baby starts crying the moment I'm drifting off" now. Somewhat Pavlovian. I'd rather putter on Facebook (or make feeble attempts to do stuff from my to-do list, or hey, write a blog post) then go back there.
She's just started crying so it looks like another night of fun for me. Morituri te salutant.
I had a bit of a panicked expression. "I was just thinking about knocking some things off my to-do list."
"Well, what's wrong with that?"
"That made me think about my to-do list!"
My to-do list has a number of big, stressful tasks on it--as a primary example, applying for Canadian citizenship--and it just feels overwhelming. The whole list kind of swarms around my head and my attempting to write one email, research one task, or make a phone call or whatever feels like trying to swat one fly in an enormous swarm, instead of doing the sensible thing and fleeing the swarm to somewhere that has cake and alcohol.
I don't know if it's teething again or what but the last few nights have been awful for sleep. Sleep deprivation is torture. I feel like shouting "YES! I DID IT! IT WAS ME, I'M THE MURDERER! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE BODIES ARE BURIED, JUST LET ME HAVE A NAP!"
Soooo why am I writing on LJ instead of going to sleep? Well, two things.
1. I am a night owl by nature, and even being insanely tired hasn't made much of a dent in my natural inclination to go to bed late and get up late. Gordon is the opposite, he's a lark by nature, and it doesn't matter how tired HE is, he can't sleep in beyond, like, 9am, and he can fall asleep at 9pm no problem.
2. I associate bed with "bad place where the baby starts crying the moment I'm drifting off" now. Somewhat Pavlovian. I'd rather putter on Facebook (or make feeble attempts to do stuff from my to-do list, or hey, write a blog post) then go back there.
She's just started crying so it looks like another night of fun for me. Morituri te salutant.