Seven Quick FAQs about EC
Since last week the main Seven Quick Takes post involved reusable cloth toilet wipes for adults, I decided that even a post about elimination communication wouldn't fall outside the crunchiness parameters.
So here are seven frequently asked questions I get or read about helping babies learn to use the toilet.
1. What is EC, IPT, NIH, etc etc etc? And why so many names?
Ok, second question first: short answer is that a number of people starting writing about this in English at about the same time, and they all used different names: elimination communication, infant potty training, natural infant hygiene, and probably others. I use "EC" because it's the one that seems to be winning, even though personally I think it's the most euphemistic and nonintuitive of all of them.
If I could choose, I would pick infant potty training, because it's immediately obvious what we're talking about, and because unlike many, I don't think "training" is a dirty word. You see this even with people who start potty training at a later date--"potty learning" has started to gain ground among people who cringe at the idea of training a child. The word "training" has come to be thought of as something you do with a dog, and to involve mindless repetition and harsh penalties.
EC is an umbrella term, but generally what it means is starting to teach a baby to eliminate in a proper receptacle rather than a diaper from an early age. There is also a related term "diaper free" which means not using any diapers whatsoever. (We're not diaper free.)
2. What?!
Yes, this gets to be its own question, because I find that for most people, shock or revulsion or disgust or disbelief (the emotion) come first, and only afterward do actual reasons for being skeptical come up. To the modern Westerner, EC is shocking. I think these emotional reactions need to be dealt with first.
Believe it or not, that was my reaction too when I first heard about a friend who was doing a form of this with her baby. My first reaction was disbelief, then I got a bit snarky, like "Okay, there's crunchy, and then there's kitty litter."
So, let me just say if you're thinking something along these lines, I'm not going to be offended, because I understand
3. How can an infant "hold it"? They have no control!
There's some intriguing science about baby bladders (and EC in general) here. But the important thing that I've figured out is that this question is coming at it backwards.
Even adults can have a difficult time holding it once the urge becomes strong. Particularly when you get triggered (more on that in question 5) and then you unexpectedly can't go.
Much more important than "holding it" is "letting it go". That ability that we all need if we're going to give urine samples. You are conscious of no need to eliminate. The doctor hands you a cup. You go into the bathroom, and unless you'd just gone, you ~magically~ produce something--at least enough for the sample.
A big part of EC is helping the baby learn to go when an opportunity presents itself, rather than when the urge is overwhelming. Sort of like how adults will use the bathroom just before leaving a place.
4. How do you know if a baby is going to eliminate?
Well, it depends on the baby and your own perceptiveness. Some babies give very clear signals. Some babies only signal for pee or only for poo. Some babies signals sometimes but not always. And some babies don't seem to signal.
We personally don't rely much on signals now, because right now Pip's signals are too easily confused for other things. Hopefully, when she is able to communicate a bit better, that will change. We are teaching her an ASL sign for potty which we hope she will use.
5. How do you even have time to sit there and watch your kid for signals?
I used to be nicer about this one but I have gotten a little tired of some of the snark I see about this particular issue. My temptation is to say "How do you even have time to sit there and watch your kid for signals she wants to eat?"
If you don't catch the early signals of hungry, the baby will progress to crying. If you don't catch the early signals of elimination, the baby will go anyway.
In both cases, the signals can be confusing or seemingly absent at times. When Pip started teething, she was putting her hands and objects in her mouth all the time, and there went my biggest "I'm hungry" signal. Many times I would offer when she didn't want to eat and fail to offer when she wanted to.
The big thing is, in neither case do you have to sit down and just stare at your kid and do nothing else. You can go on with life. You are also helped, in both cases, by timing ("It's been about two hours since she last ate, she might be hungry"/"It's been a half an hour since she peed, she might need to pee again") and by triggers. And if you miss a signal, it's not ideal, but it's really ok.
By "triggers" or "cues" I mean the strong associations we build up with eliminating. And I say "we" because you right now reading this have them too. Have you ever walked into the bathroom for some other reason (putting something away etc) and suddenly felt the urge to go? That's an environmental trigger. Or needed to go as soon as you got home, even though you had no sense of needing to eliminate while you were going home? You can probably think of others.
6. Isn't the one getting trained you, not the baby?
Yes and no.
I think part of the problem here again is that people think of "training" more and more as a bad word. It brings up the whole dog performing for a biscuit image again. Why do we bristle so much at the idea of being trained? Why is it so much a thing of contempt? That goes beyond the scope of this entry, sadly.
I've heard many times "Oh, in this method, the parents are trained to take the baby when the baby needs to go." Often gets snarky, as you might imagine.
And just like the last question, I'm tempted to get snarky back and say "Yeah, and she's got me trained to feed her and keep her warm, too! Boy, my baby really calls the shots!"
Part of this also conflates "potty training" with "toilet independence". People will say, when some dedicated EC family (more dedicated than we are) proudly announces that their twelve-month-old has "graduated," "Oh, that doesn't really count. It only counts if the kid can do it by himself."
What I want to say to that is, "So what you're saying is, someone with a physical disability who needs assistance in the bathroom isn't potty trained either? His or her assistant is the one who is trained?"
Toilet independence is the bigger goal. To be truly toilet independent, a child must realize that they need to go, get to the bathroom, get clothes open, go on the potty, finish, wipe up, get up, get clothes fixed, and wash hands afterwards. But suppose you have a baby or toddler who can indicate a need to go, hold it while being taken to the potty and assisted with getting on the potty, and do the business in the potty, and do all this reliably enough that the baby wears underwear and goes weeks without a single accident. I'm comfortable saying that that baby indeed is "graduated" and can be called potty trained.
7. Do you think it's going to make a difference in the long run, anyway?
Probably not. :)
By which I mean, do I think that in ten years, there will be some big difference between my kid and a conventionally potty trained kid... nope.
So why do it?
Well, when Pip was younger, she was amazingly sweet and good-natured. She also passed a lot of gas while being pottied. Like, a TON. It was the best position to have her pass gas in--better even than bicycle legs or the colic hold. I have often wondered if being held in the potty position helped her to pass the gas more easily, and thus prevented gas pains which cause many babies to cry. So that's one benefit.
The decreased diaper usage was what originally interested me, and it definitely is a plus.
Pip has never had any kind of diaper rash, although some kids don't have that problem with conventional diapering, so I'm not going to claim it's solely due to EC.
The whole gradual process from newborn to toilet independent child is going to be messy, no matter what method you choose. But depending on the method, the mess comes in different ways. This method is working for our family. I don't think it would work for everyone, and if it ever stops working, we'll stop doing it.
So here are seven frequently asked questions I get or read about helping babies learn to use the toilet.
1. What is EC, IPT, NIH, etc etc etc? And why so many names?
Ok, second question first: short answer is that a number of people starting writing about this in English at about the same time, and they all used different names: elimination communication, infant potty training, natural infant hygiene, and probably others. I use "EC" because it's the one that seems to be winning, even though personally I think it's the most euphemistic and nonintuitive of all of them.
If I could choose, I would pick infant potty training, because it's immediately obvious what we're talking about, and because unlike many, I don't think "training" is a dirty word. You see this even with people who start potty training at a later date--"potty learning" has started to gain ground among people who cringe at the idea of training a child. The word "training" has come to be thought of as something you do with a dog, and to involve mindless repetition and harsh penalties.
EC is an umbrella term, but generally what it means is starting to teach a baby to eliminate in a proper receptacle rather than a diaper from an early age. There is also a related term "diaper free" which means not using any diapers whatsoever. (We're not diaper free.)
2. What?!
Yes, this gets to be its own question, because I find that for most people, shock or revulsion or disgust or disbelief (the emotion) come first, and only afterward do actual reasons for being skeptical come up. To the modern Westerner, EC is shocking. I think these emotional reactions need to be dealt with first.
Believe it or not, that was my reaction too when I first heard about a friend who was doing a form of this with her baby. My first reaction was disbelief, then I got a bit snarky, like "Okay, there's crunchy, and then there's kitty litter."
So, let me just say if you're thinking something along these lines, I'm not going to be offended, because I understand
3. How can an infant "hold it"? They have no control!
There's some intriguing science about baby bladders (and EC in general) here. But the important thing that I've figured out is that this question is coming at it backwards.
Even adults can have a difficult time holding it once the urge becomes strong. Particularly when you get triggered (more on that in question 5) and then you unexpectedly can't go.
Much more important than "holding it" is "letting it go". That ability that we all need if we're going to give urine samples. You are conscious of no need to eliminate. The doctor hands you a cup. You go into the bathroom, and unless you'd just gone, you ~magically~ produce something--at least enough for the sample.
A big part of EC is helping the baby learn to go when an opportunity presents itself, rather than when the urge is overwhelming. Sort of like how adults will use the bathroom just before leaving a place.
4. How do you know if a baby is going to eliminate?
Well, it depends on the baby and your own perceptiveness. Some babies give very clear signals. Some babies only signal for pee or only for poo. Some babies signals sometimes but not always. And some babies don't seem to signal.
We personally don't rely much on signals now, because right now Pip's signals are too easily confused for other things. Hopefully, when she is able to communicate a bit better, that will change. We are teaching her an ASL sign for potty which we hope she will use.
5. How do you even have time to sit there and watch your kid for signals?
I used to be nicer about this one but I have gotten a little tired of some of the snark I see about this particular issue. My temptation is to say "How do you even have time to sit there and watch your kid for signals she wants to eat?"
If you don't catch the early signals of hungry, the baby will progress to crying. If you don't catch the early signals of elimination, the baby will go anyway.
In both cases, the signals can be confusing or seemingly absent at times. When Pip started teething, she was putting her hands and objects in her mouth all the time, and there went my biggest "I'm hungry" signal. Many times I would offer when she didn't want to eat and fail to offer when she wanted to.
The big thing is, in neither case do you have to sit down and just stare at your kid and do nothing else. You can go on with life. You are also helped, in both cases, by timing ("It's been about two hours since she last ate, she might be hungry"/"It's been a half an hour since she peed, she might need to pee again") and by triggers. And if you miss a signal, it's not ideal, but it's really ok.
By "triggers" or "cues" I mean the strong associations we build up with eliminating. And I say "we" because you right now reading this have them too. Have you ever walked into the bathroom for some other reason (putting something away etc) and suddenly felt the urge to go? That's an environmental trigger. Or needed to go as soon as you got home, even though you had no sense of needing to eliminate while you were going home? You can probably think of others.
6. Isn't the one getting trained you, not the baby?
Yes and no.
I think part of the problem here again is that people think of "training" more and more as a bad word. It brings up the whole dog performing for a biscuit image again. Why do we bristle so much at the idea of being trained? Why is it so much a thing of contempt? That goes beyond the scope of this entry, sadly.
I've heard many times "Oh, in this method, the parents are trained to take the baby when the baby needs to go." Often gets snarky, as you might imagine.
And just like the last question, I'm tempted to get snarky back and say "Yeah, and she's got me trained to feed her and keep her warm, too! Boy, my baby really calls the shots!"
Part of this also conflates "potty training" with "toilet independence". People will say, when some dedicated EC family (more dedicated than we are) proudly announces that their twelve-month-old has "graduated," "Oh, that doesn't really count. It only counts if the kid can do it by himself."
What I want to say to that is, "So what you're saying is, someone with a physical disability who needs assistance in the bathroom isn't potty trained either? His or her assistant is the one who is trained?"
Toilet independence is the bigger goal. To be truly toilet independent, a child must realize that they need to go, get to the bathroom, get clothes open, go on the potty, finish, wipe up, get up, get clothes fixed, and wash hands afterwards. But suppose you have a baby or toddler who can indicate a need to go, hold it while being taken to the potty and assisted with getting on the potty, and do the business in the potty, and do all this reliably enough that the baby wears underwear and goes weeks without a single accident. I'm comfortable saying that that baby indeed is "graduated" and can be called potty trained.
7. Do you think it's going to make a difference in the long run, anyway?
Probably not. :)
By which I mean, do I think that in ten years, there will be some big difference between my kid and a conventionally potty trained kid... nope.
So why do it?
Well, when Pip was younger, she was amazingly sweet and good-natured. She also passed a lot of gas while being pottied. Like, a TON. It was the best position to have her pass gas in--better even than bicycle legs or the colic hold. I have often wondered if being held in the potty position helped her to pass the gas more easily, and thus prevented gas pains which cause many babies to cry. So that's one benefit.
The decreased diaper usage was what originally interested me, and it definitely is a plus.
Pip has never had any kind of diaper rash, although some kids don't have that problem with conventional diapering, so I'm not going to claim it's solely due to EC.
The whole gradual process from newborn to toilet independent child is going to be messy, no matter what method you choose. But depending on the method, the mess comes in different ways. This method is working for our family. I don't think it would work for everyone, and if it ever stops working, we'll stop doing it.