Maybe not really over it...
As some of you know, I do not know my father, and had spent my youth growing up amidst mentally abusive, borderline physical abusive, fatherly figures. I like to think that I really have no feelings about this, as it doesn't seem to affect me in anyway nowadays. Today was a little different though. I had to shut myself in the back of Gamestop for about 20 minutes today because the thing I witnessed made me incredibly angry. A child was shopping for a game, but only had $10, so his selection was small, and he could choose nothing he wanted. This child's dad was threatening to "beat the shit outta" him if he didn't hurry up and choose a game. This man is considered a bit of a village idiot here in Shelbyville, as most of the residents know of him. When I went over to hopefully get him to stop yelling at his child (my thought was that he wouldn't yell at his kid while I was around) he treated me with kindness, but snarled at his kid, still threatening him. The kid was in tears, and the mother waled away, so as not to be associated with her male counterpart. I slowly became furious, started shaking, and getting cold chills. Soon enough I had to leave before I killed the man. He never hurt his son (though I saw this same child when he was a LOT younger, and he always had bruises) while I was there, only yelled at him. Everyone else in the store was just thinking "What an asshole!" MY question is, why was I so angry? Honestly, if I had a knife, or a gun, I probably would've attacked. I guess I'm not over my dad. Bad fatherly figures piss me off to no extent.
After spending the weedend with my uncle James and my year old cousin Sebastian, I am no longer worried about the type of father I'll be. I was a little scared previous to this because humans tend to reproduce past traumatizing events. I had so much fun with Sebastian that I'm no longer worried. He called me by name, had me walk around with him, and would smile when I made faces at him. I guess it's true, nothing's better than a child's smile. Now for a few conversations:
James: Hey, Seb, can you do the cossack dance?
Sebastian: *Starts dancing*
Dustin: Can you dance like a Russian Nationalist? Aww....
Dustin: *in reference to a biker chick* ooh, she's ugly.
James: She's one hot momma. Can you say "hot momma" Seb?
Sebastian: Hot... momma
Sebastian: Duh...tin
Dustin: What's up Seb?
Sebastian: *Holds out cookie* Bite? Cookie?
Sebastian: *Falls down*
Dustin: Ooh, is he okay?
James: Yea, it's just a flesh wound.
Dustin: Hey Seb, does the black knight always win?
Sebastian: *nods*
Dustin: That's awesome.
Sebastion: *Holds his hand out to me* Walk.
Dustin: Where you wanna walk to?
Sebastian: *baby gibberish as we start walking. He turns to James and my grandma* See ya!
James: Hey Seb, you want some starbucks?
Sebastian: Coffee.
Dustin: We can get you a mochalattefrappachinno with a shot of orange. It won't taste that good, and it'll be overly expensive, but atleast you'll look like you have some class.
Sebastian: Coffee.
Sebastian: *reaching up to me while I'm on the couch* Up!
Dustin: *lifts Sebastian up onto the couch* there you go
Sebastian: OFF! *kicks me until I get off the couch.*
Dustin: *I carry Seb up to my room* Here you go Seb.
Sebastian: *pushes me out of my room* See ya! *closes door*
Dustin: Well... I've been kicked out of my room.
Sebastian: *opens my door and hands me my keys and checkbook* Here. See ya!
That's all I got for now.
After spending the weedend with my uncle James and my year old cousin Sebastian, I am no longer worried about the type of father I'll be. I was a little scared previous to this because humans tend to reproduce past traumatizing events. I had so much fun with Sebastian that I'm no longer worried. He called me by name, had me walk around with him, and would smile when I made faces at him. I guess it's true, nothing's better than a child's smile. Now for a few conversations:
James: Hey, Seb, can you do the cossack dance?
Sebastian: *Starts dancing*
Dustin: Can you dance like a Russian Nationalist? Aww....
Dustin: *in reference to a biker chick* ooh, she's ugly.
James: She's one hot momma. Can you say "hot momma" Seb?
Sebastian: Hot... momma
Sebastian: Duh...tin
Dustin: What's up Seb?
Sebastian: *Holds out cookie* Bite? Cookie?
Sebastian: *Falls down*
Dustin: Ooh, is he okay?
James: Yea, it's just a flesh wound.
Dustin: Hey Seb, does the black knight always win?
Sebastian: *nods*
Dustin: That's awesome.
Sebastion: *Holds his hand out to me* Walk.
Dustin: Where you wanna walk to?
Sebastian: *baby gibberish as we start walking. He turns to James and my grandma* See ya!
James: Hey Seb, you want some starbucks?
Sebastian: Coffee.
Dustin: We can get you a mochalattefrappachinno with a shot of orange. It won't taste that good, and it'll be overly expensive, but atleast you'll look like you have some class.
Sebastian: Coffee.
Sebastian: *reaching up to me while I'm on the couch* Up!
Dustin: *lifts Sebastian up onto the couch* there you go
Sebastian: OFF! *kicks me until I get off the couch.*
Dustin: *I carry Seb up to my room* Here you go Seb.
Sebastian: *pushes me out of my room* See ya! *closes door*
Dustin: Well... I've been kicked out of my room.
Sebastian: *opens my door and hands me my keys and checkbook* Here. See ya!
That's all I got for now.