yesterday...
I am not sure how many of you know this about me but september 11th was one of the most important days of my life. See, that year I had moved from the house I grew up in, into a new house. During the summer, I stayed at my grandparents house because our house wasn't finished being built and we needed to move out by a certain day. Anyways, that summer is when I guess I started really thinking about death. I mean I was 14 or so at the time and other then childish worries and all that (everyone has those when they're younger) I had never really worried about death. But for some reason, I began to worry and I cried every day. I would cry at work in the bathroom thinking about how one day, I will have to say good bye to those I love. My mom wasn't going to be with me forever...things like that. And I was a WRECK! I started school the last week of august and I was just... distracted. I would stand at my locker and think to myself "why am I here? Why do I need to waste these years of my life in school getting an education when I am just going to die anyways?"... But on that day... I realized that if I spent my entire life worrying about death, then I would be wasting my life for real. So many innocent lives were taken that it forced me to realize how lucky everyone is to be alive. I am here and I am gonna live everyday to it''s fullest. I changed my outlook on life and death that day, I changed my religious beliefs that year, and I basically reorganized my priorities. And ever since that day, I must look at the clock at least 3-4 times a week at 9:11. I know, that doesnt sound like all that much but everytime I do, I'm reminded of what I learned that day. Anyways, I had a moment of silence yesterday for those who passed away on september 11th and I want to send out my thoughts to everyone who was affected by it and to everyone reading this. I will be posting again either tonight or tomorrow about the past few months and the months to come... I may be making some changes in my life and your opinions do matter to me. big hugs to everyone!