now that I've had some sleep the world doesn't look quite as bad...
but it still pretty much sucks like before, there's just cloudy sunlight now. After having panic attacks all night and a few more this morning I was told I had to leave the apartment and he tried to take my pillow away. Aha, I have 4 on the bed and another by the couch, I still have stuff to hide behind. Cause you know while the panic attacks can find you behind a pillow, the rest of the world can't. I guess I'll check with the leasing office for a bus schedule, or just take my luck and an umbrella to wait for any bus that comes by. I just dont want to get lost on the dover bus system and not be able to make it back to the apartment. But I dont want to stay here really. It sucks not having a car, I mean I can drive, not sure how well anymore since I've not done so since I got the lisence over a year ago. But I wish I had the option of just driving where I want to go and getting away from places. I know with th cost of gas it's not like you can do that easily anymore. But I really have started to hate it here when I'm by myself. It doesn't help that I sleep to try and pass the time, it's not the best thing to do to myself. But with how tired I am anyone, it seems like it can't hurt. I wish I knew is the bus that comes here, went to the mall, but I know it can't be that easy. It'll go to a transfer station and I'll wait on another, and it'll end up takes me 4 buses to get two and from the mall that's only about 5 miles away.
I guess I should head out before I find an excuse to get into bed and lose my day to sleep.
[Edit: Betsey not-so-epic outing]So I went to the leasing office, they had no bus schedules and told me I can get one at the library. I wanted to ask how I was suppose to know what bus goes there and when to catch it without a schedule, but I figured I take my chances with the nearest bus stop instead. Thankfully the next bus for that stop was a few minutes off. I got a bus schedule and took the bus to downtown dover, then transfered over to the a mall bound bus. Wandered around the mall, thinking I really should have dressed nicer and tried to find work while I was there, but figured I should just try and enjoy being out of the house. I tried to look for a dress for an up coming wedding I have to go to, hoping maybe I could find a cute sun dress at an end of summer price, no luck. Apparently if your fat you have to wear ugly muumuu like dresses that no one under 60 should even have to look at. I went to Lane Bryant just to try on stuff and look around, ended up finding a cute shirt that I already have in a burgandy color in a nice blue for $6.99, so I picked that up and felt pleased with myself for catching it on sale. After that I took a bus back to the transfer station and then another back home. I forgot how sick the bus amkes me feel when riding it. And of course I was the last stop for that route. I stopped at the grocery store before walking home, mostly to pick up a sales flier so I know what if anything is a decent price this week. Well I'm going to go start laundry and try to level up my charecter in Castle Crasher before he gets home.
I guess I should head out before I find an excuse to get into bed and lose my day to sleep.
[Edit: Betsey not-so-epic outing]So I went to the leasing office, they had no bus schedules and told me I can get one at the library. I wanted to ask how I was suppose to know what bus goes there and when to catch it without a schedule, but I figured I take my chances with the nearest bus stop instead. Thankfully the next bus for that stop was a few minutes off. I got a bus schedule and took the bus to downtown dover, then transfered over to the a mall bound bus. Wandered around the mall, thinking I really should have dressed nicer and tried to find work while I was there, but figured I should just try and enjoy being out of the house. I tried to look for a dress for an up coming wedding I have to go to, hoping maybe I could find a cute sun dress at an end of summer price, no luck. Apparently if your fat you have to wear ugly muumuu like dresses that no one under 60 should even have to look at. I went to Lane Bryant just to try on stuff and look around, ended up finding a cute shirt that I already have in a burgandy color in a nice blue for $6.99, so I picked that up and felt pleased with myself for catching it on sale. After that I took a bus back to the transfer station and then another back home. I forgot how sick the bus amkes me feel when riding it. And of course I was the last stop for that route. I stopped at the grocery store before walking home, mostly to pick up a sales flier so I know what if anything is a decent price this week. Well I'm going to go start laundry and try to level up my charecter in Castle Crasher before he gets home.