yawn...
Aw man, I feel sleepy. But in a good way. Like I'm a cat that has been stretching in the sun for a while. Hmm.
I have multiple goals for the rest of the summer. I will now try to outline them for everybody. Here they are.
1. Finish Pride and Prejudice and move on to my shitass required reading books, Up from Slavery and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
2. Stop being such an asshole to my mom in hopes that she will return the favor.
3. Stop eating so goddamn much.
4. Maybe like, moving my ass once and a while, and stop being bitchy when somebody suggests that I do so.
5. Make a big elaborate dinner so my parents will stop laughing at me when I tell them that I could seriously cook something if I tried. (Hey, this summer I've already made cookies, banana bread, and a pumpkin pie, all with good results. I am a domestic goddess.)
6. Get the fuck outta this house more. Honestly, I get so stuck. I need to call my friends and go somewhere.
7. Draw something worth keeping. (Elizabeth, when I finish her? Maybe?)
8. Laudanum. Glorious, glorious laudanum.
9. Try to sculpt something out of all the trash I've saved up in hopes of making something interesting.
10. Put more effort into the clothes I wear. I have been sinking into this horrible, plain-clothed sinkhole of late. Must remedy that. I will be altering all of my lameass plain tshirts promptly.
11. Write more, spend less time addicted to the damn computer.
Speaking of writing, for those of you interested, I've been writing a lot lately. Here is one, just for the hell of it.
the glorious nightmare
the evermore haunt
that comes with not getting
the one thing we want
the poisonous sadness
that taints black the air
the piercing possession
of everything there
the wrenching confession
devotion to one
the single importance
eclipses the sun
the earthquake that shatters
the white from the pain
and who's ever sure
that they're sure that they're sane
the gasp of elation
the manic hooray
for your last piece of mind
as it slithers away
and its this time or nothing
but your lips are numb
and what you can manage
won't rise from a hum
you can't get around it
and you cannot go through
and the hole in the pit
of your stomach just grew
so you swear to the secrets
protecting your heart
that you and this infinite
madness won't part
you'll just let it go up
and you'll pick up what falls
and the rest is all hidden
in words on the walls
in wicked deceptions
and unspoken calls
in silence that echoes
through velveteen halls
in feathery faces
at masquerade balls
in vacant embraces
of porcelain dolls
for it haunts you from shadows a thousand feet tall
and they still dare to ask if you've given your all
yeah they still dare to ask if you've given your all