We stared out at the world with the same gaze.
Today was my day at Chicago Comic Con. Pictures will come in time, but there are a moment I wasn't expecting to occur that I really want to talk about. This might be one of the few posts that has anything to do with any type of fandom.
To begin the story, it needs to go back with my relationship with Doctor Who. I watched it on and off for years, but never really got into it until Matt Smith became the Doctor. I was hooked from episode one, and made sure to watch it every week. At least, I did for the first two seasons with him. Once the 3rd aired, I never got around to watching it. I always meant to, but part of my was very happy to keep it as it was. Even now, the 11th Doctor feels like an old friend I could revisit if I needed. If times got rough enough, I would lose myself in a Doctor Who marathon of those two seasons, but I never needed to see the end of his time as the Doctor. Maybe, one day I will.
The moment that stays with me the most out of all of those episodes was the first episode with Craig and Sophie. The Doctor interrupts the home date the two are having, and gets to talking to Sophie. He asks her "What do you really want to do?" after she talks about her dislike of the schedule of work-weekend most people seem to follow. She says she wants to look after animals, and he asks her what is stopping her. Fear is one of the answers, and the conversation that followed has never left me.
"Well, perhaps that's you then. Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and little bit miserable until the day you drop. Better than trying and failing, eh?"
"You think I'd fail?"
"Oh, everybody's got dreams, Sophie. Very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend? Perhaps, in the whole wide universe, a cell center is where you should be."
"Why are you saying that? That's horrible."
"Is it true?"
"Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call center my whole life. I can do anything I want."
And he just smiled back at her, with a look saying of course you can. As she justified her reasons for staying, so did I. The only difference I had was that I didn't have a reason to keep me there, other than fear. As she realized she could do anything she could want, so did I. As she fought against the thought staying in a place she wasn't completely happy in, so did I.
I promise this all connects to today. I wanted to walk by the autograph area at Comic Con. There was no way I was paying $200+ for an autograph from anyone, and I don't really have any interest in that anyway. There is nothing wrong with it, of course, but I would much rather prefer having a conversation over a beer than an autograph at a convention. I don't get a good feel for a person until I've sat there and had a conversation, and that is what I would love. That said, I know I won't ever get that chance. I caught a glimpse of David Boreanaz, James Marsters, Katie Cassidy, and Norman Reedus on our walkthrough. I was more than content with just being able to see them smile at whichever fan was in front of them at the time. I couldn't help but smile as I watched Sebastian Stan hug his fans. He really did have a sweetness to him.
Matt Smith and Karen Gillan were the two most people came to see. Hours before Matt was even there, the line was ridiculous. I wanted to do one last walk through that area, just to see if I could catch a glimpse of him. I didn't really know why, since I really hadn't watched Doctor Who in at least a year. Bragging rights was what my brain was saying.
"We aren't going to get anywhere near him." my sister said. We rounded a corner, and there he was at the table. I saw his smile, and I knew why something told me to walk by and it had nothing to do with bragging rights. That moment of watching that conversation for the first time came back to me, and while it wasn't the reason I was able to muster the courage follow my dream of travelling half way across the world, it was one of the catalysts that led to me getting on that plane.
In that moment I saw him smiling at another fan, I said a silent thank you to him for that moment. The moment I saw his smile in person, I knew it. That's all I needed. I didn't need to meet him. Though, I'm sure he would be a very charming and interesting person to meet. Just being able to have that silent moment, with him completely unaware, and being able to appreciate the impact a moment of his acting had had on me was enough.