...past in present...

[dusky_jewl]

past in present,
our time was a gift
of weight upon my shoulders.
shadows of your eyes on my lips,
I cannot wipe clean
the stain you leave
on my skin
when I think of you.
soaking in self-pity,
a wallowing mess.
stutteringlee
trying to swim with hands tied.
this pool of my own pride
drained by my hand.
this body in motion
has become my last stand.
this is my last goodbye.
past in the present,
I can't see you without hurting,
burning.
your present in my past
lingers like hunger.
like scars.
like something.
I.
can't.
shake.
this past in present
is
inescapable.
I shoulder your ghost, steeling my nerves to bear the guilt
of what I wrought.
this world is cold without
you.
this is just one physical manifestation of
the
past in present
tense.
this conjugation of regret,
my stubborn heart
won't let
me forget.