So I've been really bad about updating. But did anyone think I was REALLY gonna be good about it? Anyway. I do have something to update about...
I love American Idol. Everyone who knows me knows that. However, I hate American Idol "fans". Paula Abdul isn't coming back to judge American Idol this year. Is that sad? Yes. Very sad. Is it worth boycotting the show over? No. Not at all. Let's examine some of the unintelligent, idiotic forum posts from (most likely)inbred "fans" of American Idol.
"TIME TO BOYCOTT AMERICAN IDOL AND I AM CALLING ON ALL WHO WATCHED THE SHOW TO DO JUST THAT UNTIL THEY BRING PAULA BACK! YOU JUST RUINED A GREAT SHOW.. STUPID MOVE FOX! :)"
^ Pretty sure business doesn't work like that, retard. "ZOMG some random inbred internet poster wants to boycott the show! GIVE PAULA A BILLION DOLLARS AND UNDERAGE CONSORTS TO GET HER TO COME BACK!!!1!!!one!!" Asshole.
"I would love to be the forth judge it would be so much fun! Michele Marchetti
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/michelemarchetti"
^ Nobody fucking knows who you are, or cares. Douche melon.
"Why quit watching a good show that changes peoples lives just because Paula is gone?"
^ Thank you JESUS, someone besides me sees the idiocy in this whole scenario. You win a cookie.
Now, here's what someone replied to the above poster: "Why? Because it's wrong how they treat her. She helped make the show what it is today, and they haven't given her enough credit and they never will."
^ Yes, Paula's Frankenstein Clap during performances SO helped make the show what it was. As did her being shit-faced drunk and/or high the entire time, and those awkward pauses as she tried to remember her lines. Let's not forget when she commented on BOTH of Jason Castro's performances after he'd only done ONE of them. And people say her lines weren't written for her. JACKASS.
"I looked forward each season to seeing Ryan, Simon, Paula and Randy together. I really looked forward to Paula, because she was my favorite judge. I just don't want to watch it anymore without her. I'm so disgusted that Fox would do this. Time for me to find something new to watch! Maybe DWTS!"
^ So what you're REALLY saying is that your tone-deaf retard who didn't watch Idol for the singing, but for drunk-ass Paula's idiocy, so now you're moving on to a show with almost no reward for its winners just because you're a mindelss television sheep and need something with a judging panel to watch. Do Jesus a favor and kill yourself.
"I agree, Lynn. She is by far my favorite judge. And I expected them to all be here together until Season 10. Obviously that's not going to happen now :("
^ Get the fuck over it
"You better make Paula an offer she can't refuse and keep her. You should have kept three judges in the first place. Change isn't always for the better."
^ Neither is breeding, in your parents' case.
"KARA IS SO BORING!!! GET HER OFF AND GET PAULA BACK OR IM POSITIVE AMERICAN IDOL WILL NOT HAVE THE HIGHEST RATE OF VIEWERS THIS TIME!"
^ ZOMG RILLY?!?!?!?!?! D:
"Just saw the list of so called maybe replacements, you have to be kidding me Brittney Spears! What does that fool know about-anything!! Only ones who sounded good to me were Jewel, Pink or Joan Jett. Better yet just get Paula back! Big Mistake! I will still watch because I love music, but still a big mistake."
^ Okay, so I'm not the biggest Britney fan ever. She's okay, in recent years since her post-crazy stage. But "What does that fool know about-anything!!" Uhm, I dunno, she's only one of the better selling female artists of all time and has a record that went DIAMOND? Retard. Would she be a good Idol judge? No. Does she know at least SOMETHING about the music industry? Obviously not, because she just shits out the millions of dollars every year, didn't you know? Jewel is a genre-flopping wench, P!ink doesn't know wtf is going on because she's always either pregnant or high(or both), but I do agree Joan Jett is a good choice.
"i'm in"
^ Good for fucking you, make sure to put your helmet on before you leave.
"I can't believe they are trying to replace Paula Abdul. I can help with that: You guys can't replace her! There's no one else that can do what she does!"
^ For once, I agree. NOBODY can be as retardedly high/drunk/learning disabled as Paula on the show. Kudos to you for recognizing that while greatness can be achieved, mental retardation is born.
"IM GONNA BOYCOTT AMERICAN IDOL!! IDOL IS NOTIN WIT OUT PAULA!!! THE PERSON WHO DICIDED TO MAKE PAULA LEAVE IS A PEICE OF SOMTHING I CANT SAY ON THE COMPUTER!!! PAULA IS THE LOVE AND THE HART OF IDOL STUPID SLUTTY VICTORA BECHKAM CANT REPLACE THE LOVE THAT HAPPEND ON THAT SHOW I NOW OFFICIALLY HATE IDOL!!! I WILL ONLY WATCH IT WHEN PAULA IS BACK!!! FACE THE FACTS IDOL IDOL SUCKS NOW AND YOU DUMP PEOPLE KOW IT!!!!"
^ Who let their 10 year old learning disabled crotch-dropling near the computer? The spelling and idiocy reminds me of George W. Bush.
"THEY STUPITLEY GAVE SIMON AND RYAN 45 MILLION FOR THE SHOW AND THEY WOULDNT EVEN GIVE PAULA 10 MILLION BUT THEY SURE DID INCREASE SIMIONS FROM 37 MILLION TO 45!!!! FOX MADE THE STUPIDEST MOVE EVER!!!"
^ While this was a couple posts down, it was obviously the same G.W. Bush impersonator.
"Sorry guys...American Idol is so HISTORY without Paula. FOOLS you guys were at Idol to let her go."
^ Yes, the TV execs who have been doing this successfully for 9 seasons now are FOOLS! But you, internet commentator in your mom's basement, have it ALL RIGHT!!!!!!
"To be honest i think Paula should go back on!!!
Idol need Paula back, no one can replace her!!!"
^ Because 44985u734987498367968dklfjdsj39048t other messages that said the EXACT SAME THING weren't enough. Thank you, your one more post drove the point through and America now understands the wisdom behind these words. Please go hang yourself.
"PAULA ABDUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
^ CHARLIE CHAPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"PAULA!!! Duh! I still can't believe she won't be on! Part of my watching was just to see what beautiful outfit she'd have on. She is/was the heart of Idol!"
^ Duh! Pretty much think this retarded comment speaks for itself, you inbred hippie.
"I still don't get why they would not want Paula on there. She was the best judge. I personally can't stand Kara...she seems so full of herself. Just my opinion. Her argument with bikini girl during the auditions last season was just disgusting and showy. Of course, she just HAD to come out on stage during the finale and strip down to a bikini too just to show off. How distasteful."
^ I don't really like Kara, personally, but to the jackass above: Kara stripped down to a bikini NOT to show off, but because FOX donated a shit ton of money to a charity because of it. Ryan even announced it. So you're basically saying it was distasteful of her to do something slightly fun that got a bunch of money donated to people, probably children, in need? You probably rape puppies and behead kittens too, you sick fuck.
Now, I would like to share with you all my not-so-funny yet to-the point post:
"You're all pretty much retarded, sorry to say. I loved Paula too, she was my favorite judge. But at the end of the day, I didn't watch Idol JUST to see Paula. I watched it because I love music, and I love the idea that a relatively unknown person can go from nobody to international best-selling superstar just from the Idol platform.
Anybody who quits watching Idol just because Paula is gone was never an Idol fan, they were a mindless teeny-bopping zombie who hasn't an ounce of common sense.
By boycotting Idol, you aren't damaging FOX so much(I believe they were around a long time before Idol, and probably will be after Idol as well) but all the thousands of hopefuls who deserve a shot to have their voice heard and their music mean something.
SO anyone who stops watching Idol just because Paula is gone is a dream-crushing douchebag. Idol is better off without your meaningless support, anyway, and I hope you feel like crap for turning your backs on the contestants who need and deserve the votes they'll be missing out on to launch their careers."