sharp stem jim and his fruity crew of pirates
Kayla: TELL ME .... A STORY /BORED
Emaily: .............. ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A .......... BANANA
Emaily: its name was ... Jim
Emaily: and one day Jim decided he was really bored with sitting in somebody's fruit bowl and decided to go out on a GREAT ADVENTURE
Emaily: so when the human came by to pick him up he JUMPED AWAY (despite not having any legs) and .. ran .. out the door .. on his imaginary legs
Emaily: INTO THE GREAT BLUE YONDER
Emaily: fortunately for him the human that had bought him happened to be a PIRATE. a pirate .. on vacation. who lived near the docks! so jim ran on out there and was like AWESOME, PIRATE SHIPS.
Emaily: so jim let a little local boy draw a dashing mustache and eyepatch on his peel and now looking suitably dashing, went off to commandeer a ship of his own!
Emaily: SHOULD I KEEP GOING
Kayla: YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES
Emaily: SO WHEN JIM ARRIVED ON ... THE WHITE CLAM ... HE WENT UP TO THE CAPTAIN AND ... poked him in his eye with his stem. and since the captain had been down to one eye already HE WAS NOW BLIND and fell overboard. THUS JIM WAS ABLE TO DECLARE HIMSELF CAPTAIN OF THE WHITE CLAM, and he ruled with the might of the sharpest banana stem in all the seven seas.
Kayla: so tell me
Kayla: does jim
Kayla: get other fruity crewmates
Emaily: OF COURSE HE DOES
Emaily: there's Patsy the Orange with his double eyepatches and toothpick pegleg
Emaily: and Veronica, the most beautiful pineapple any fruit's ever seen, but deadly and dangerous too!
Kayla: WHAT ABOUT ROBERT THE KIWI.
Emaily: HE WAS THERE TOO
Emaily: HE WAS KNOWN FAR AND WIDE FOR HIS INCREDIBLY LUXURIOUS MUSTACHE THAT NO OTHER FRUIT COULD MATCH
Kayla: they can have a dangerous encounter with uh
Kayla: captain morgan
Emaily: lkjsfdhgahsldkfjhaskjdhgiuhdfkjlashdglkja the fruits will be like ARRRRRRRRR THE SHIT WE MAKE TASTES INFINITELY BETTER THAN THAT PISS WATER YOU PRODUCE
Kayla: and he'll be like
Kayla: ARRRRRR PISS WATER
Kayla: ARRRRR
Emaily: OH NO YE DIDN'T
Emaily: and there will be swashbuckling and lots of lemons and limes going to work squirting juice in everyone's eyes
Emaily: Sharp Stem Jim
Emaily: that's Jim's pirate name
Kayla: sharp stem jim will defeat captain morgan in an amazing show of .. swashbucklery
Emaily: and eye stabbing with stems, natch
Emaily: .... BUT THEN!
Kayla: !!!!
Emaily: captain morgan will capture Jim's ONE TRUE LOVE, Bananarina, a beautiful virginal maiden he rescued from a sinking merchant ship!
Emaily: and Captain Morgan will threaten .. TO PEEL HER unless Jim calls his me-- I MEAN FRUIT off!
Kayla: NOT THE PEEL!!!!
Emaily: YES!! THIS WAS JIM'S REACTION!
Kayla: SO WHAT DID JIM DO TO SAVE THE .. BANANA IN DISTRESS
Emaily: BUT HE DARE NOT DISGRACE HIS HONOR BY GIVING IN TO A PRODUCER OF SUCH FIENDISHLY DISGUSTING LIQUID
Emaily: IT'S A TALE THAT BRINGS A TEAR TO THE EYE OF MANY A FRUIT
Emaily: seeing no other way out, Jim did what only the bravest of fruits could do, and SACRIFICED HIS LIFE - BY PEELING HIMSELF! captain morgan, not suspecing the trap, slipped on poor Jim's discarded peel and pitched right overboard. Bananarina was saved! But at the cost of the life of her beloved Jim, who was subsequently eaten by Captain Morgan's parrot ):
Emaily: THE END
Kayla: ... emaily
Kayla: i love you
Emaily: yes
Emaily: you should
Emaily: .............. ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A .......... BANANA
Emaily: its name was ... Jim
Emaily: and one day Jim decided he was really bored with sitting in somebody's fruit bowl and decided to go out on a GREAT ADVENTURE
Emaily: so when the human came by to pick him up he JUMPED AWAY (despite not having any legs) and .. ran .. out the door .. on his imaginary legs
Emaily: INTO THE GREAT BLUE YONDER
Emaily: fortunately for him the human that had bought him happened to be a PIRATE. a pirate .. on vacation. who lived near the docks! so jim ran on out there and was like AWESOME, PIRATE SHIPS.
Emaily: so jim let a little local boy draw a dashing mustache and eyepatch on his peel and now looking suitably dashing, went off to commandeer a ship of his own!
Emaily: SHOULD I KEEP GOING
Kayla: YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES
Emaily: SO WHEN JIM ARRIVED ON ... THE WHITE CLAM ... HE WENT UP TO THE CAPTAIN AND ... poked him in his eye with his stem. and since the captain had been down to one eye already HE WAS NOW BLIND and fell overboard. THUS JIM WAS ABLE TO DECLARE HIMSELF CAPTAIN OF THE WHITE CLAM, and he ruled with the might of the sharpest banana stem in all the seven seas.
Kayla: so tell me
Kayla: does jim
Kayla: get other fruity crewmates
Emaily: OF COURSE HE DOES
Emaily: there's Patsy the Orange with his double eyepatches and toothpick pegleg
Emaily: and Veronica, the most beautiful pineapple any fruit's ever seen, but deadly and dangerous too!
Kayla: WHAT ABOUT ROBERT THE KIWI.
Emaily: HE WAS THERE TOO
Emaily: HE WAS KNOWN FAR AND WIDE FOR HIS INCREDIBLY LUXURIOUS MUSTACHE THAT NO OTHER FRUIT COULD MATCH
Kayla: they can have a dangerous encounter with uh
Kayla: captain morgan
Emaily: lkjsfdhgahsldkfjhaskjdhgiuhdfkjlashdglkja the fruits will be like ARRRRRRRRR THE SHIT WE MAKE TASTES INFINITELY BETTER THAN THAT PISS WATER YOU PRODUCE
Kayla: and he'll be like
Kayla: ARRRRRR PISS WATER
Kayla: ARRRRR
Emaily: OH NO YE DIDN'T
Emaily: and there will be swashbuckling and lots of lemons and limes going to work squirting juice in everyone's eyes
Emaily: Sharp Stem Jim
Emaily: that's Jim's pirate name
Kayla: sharp stem jim will defeat captain morgan in an amazing show of .. swashbucklery
Emaily: and eye stabbing with stems, natch
Emaily: .... BUT THEN!
Kayla: !!!!
Emaily: captain morgan will capture Jim's ONE TRUE LOVE, Bananarina, a beautiful virginal maiden he rescued from a sinking merchant ship!
Emaily: and Captain Morgan will threaten .. TO PEEL HER unless Jim calls his me-- I MEAN FRUIT off!
Kayla: NOT THE PEEL!!!!
Emaily: YES!! THIS WAS JIM'S REACTION!
Kayla: SO WHAT DID JIM DO TO SAVE THE .. BANANA IN DISTRESS
Emaily: BUT HE DARE NOT DISGRACE HIS HONOR BY GIVING IN TO A PRODUCER OF SUCH FIENDISHLY DISGUSTING LIQUID
Emaily: IT'S A TALE THAT BRINGS A TEAR TO THE EYE OF MANY A FRUIT
Emaily: seeing no other way out, Jim did what only the bravest of fruits could do, and SACRIFICED HIS LIFE - BY PEELING HIMSELF! captain morgan, not suspecing the trap, slipped on poor Jim's discarded peel and pitched right overboard. Bananarina was saved! But at the cost of the life of her beloved Jim, who was subsequently eaten by Captain Morgan's parrot ):
Emaily: THE END
Kayla: ... emaily
Kayla: i love you
Emaily: yes
Emaily: you should