Women are like Vampries... They suck your emotions dry and your love and expcet you to be ok ..

[durhamrock]

so yes its Thanksgiving... its was a good day worked all day and such ... Did 135 covers fuckin busy... But it was rough cause well it was my first thanksgiving alone ... As I told my lil sis i'm alone now .. Its hurts me everyday not nowing there is none there for you to wake up beside or to comfort you ... Yes i have my friends and my lil sis to talk to but its not the same .. And as for me going all out now and looking for bitchs and hoes ... well i'm over that to... I can't do it anymore it hurts me to much .. Just to say hi and then bye like nothing that stops today as well.. I was talking to Joelle and how I feel still and she didn't have anything to say i can undertstand why because what is there to say ?? Erik you'll be fine just move on and such .. There is nothing anyone that can say to me .. To make me feel better ... Yes i said i don't love her anymore to her face but today and yesterday i woke up in tears ... I know i do love her and always will and thats the way it will be for me ... Can't change that we been through so much and to much for me to say that .. all those nasty things i said well i said it out of anger and jeaslousy it doesn't make it right but yes .... it just meh .. w/e ..

But as for me .. Well yes I do love you Elizabeth Ashely Scanlon despite what you feel for me .. Just thought i let you know i will always be here for you and thats final.. even if you don;t want me to be ..

But back to my weekend ... stayed at matts all weekend and did shroomz and drank (well i drink everynight now) was awesome ... I was so wired.. lol... And then yesterday had thanksgiving dinner with family and such but my emotions got the best of me and i will couldn't stand it i went to bed and then after go up and went to matts.. I'm glad to have my bro with me and my lil sis .. They mean the world to me right now .. Went out and bought a new cd the other day to Melon Colly and the Infiant Saddness by the Smashing Pumpkins.. Man i love that band has been my fav band for along time .. Well i'm back to normal so to say .. well mentally .. emotionally not so good .. So many memerioes play in my head and such and it hurts... Not knowing if i'll ever have them again with that person but only time will till... Only time can say what will happen and hopefully it will all work out in the long run.. just hopefully... Yes i have moved on.. But love is uncondtional despite what everyone says and thats the way it is ... Thats only if you really truly did love someone .. But yes .. I'm in a band now and i have a date with a lifegaurd from work her name is Mandie.. We seem to have alot in commin and maybe there will be something between us ?? who knows lol .. But god damn she is hot lol.. Also on the bright side of things i'm moving to europe for about a year of so or.. After the World Cunliary Cup i'll prolly come back to visit and such .. I'm excited for that.. Really am i get to become what i have always wanted to be a Chef .. and a great one at that.. My Chef told me i will become the next Jamie Oliver if i keep going the way i'm going .. But i'm so empty i just want my Liz back .. i want my old life back .. i want to be whole again ... but only the future can only tell.. I have so much to give and only to give... Thats all i do is keep on giving and if none wants that well thats how it rolls i guess.. Thats life..

but anyways ... none cares anymore of the way i feel .. lol and i don't care i just like to blog the way i feel and will continue to.. Makes me feel better.. So for the end of this blog... all i have to say is that i love you Liz always have always will.. I'm here for you even if you have josh and such .. i don't care but yes i should stop talking its just my thoughts who cares about me and about them none lol .. Its just so hard .. But yes Glad this week is done it has been so hard.. Can't wait till my date tho should be fun ..