We function - and LEARN - despite our horrors, not necessarily because of them.
March 20, in our modern world, marks 2 anniversaries.
The first one I remember is the gas in Japan.
It filled all the trains on 20th March 1995.
It was to be the last world tragedy to which I would respond in a normal manner.
Within a fortnight, my life was to change irrevocably, and the journey to what I am now encapsulates much which is the source of this quote. If I had kept a LiveJournal for these times in 1995, I am sure it would be as full of drama as many journals are today. Even though the situation in my life was something like an ironic tragic-comedy.
Violated all my assumptions on what it is to be tolerant and understanding. Ten months before, I had let Japan and Japanese culture in my life. It was so much to the profit.
Sarin gas and the cult is so frightening. I cannot really conceptualise a blind man with a beard without seeing him. And to think, to so many people, this man was GOD.
I met Japan with suspicion and paranoia. And most of Asia too. I am ashamed now. I have resolved many of these issues over the years, especially over 2001-02 when I was to have so much close contact with Japanese people.
I have said before that September 11 opened things up for the whole world to understand PTSD. (2001)
And if you still don't, I don't know what experience will make you.
March 20 2003 was a really weird day for me. I had workshopped a chapter of some of my first writing in quite a few years, towards a new audience. (This was March the 17th 2003)
I sat there to do my literary work, and then because our tutor had gone to a funeral, I sat there with my Vietnamese acquaintance who has always been decent towards my writing if a bit oddball in other senses. This is not simply on my part. A jobbing nurse said he had social problems.
Well he was there. Then we listened to the radio. It was 4am in Iraq and war had just been declared. We talked about it and then we watched it on the television. CNN and everything and BBC of course. Very reassuring as were the biases. All my ability for critical thinking had been smashed, shall we say?
Was sort of happy to know that Poland was in the coalition. I sneakily admit to finding "You forgot Poland" amusing. It was a slip on Kerry's part. At least I believe it is so.
Well you all know the rest is history. By April we all thought it was over. At least major combat was but there is a lot of reconstruction - that sort of work - to do. Iraq is yet to be a democratic country despite the elections, from what I read. I read the world news very fragmentally. I cannot stand it lots of times, so I skim over much of it. I know this is practically a crime.
This is the end of the anniversaries on March 20 that I remember. I think they are light beams or icons to make us work towards eradicating and admitting our prejudices. If we are strong enough and good enough - that is the legacy of a Puritan/Kantian ethic which I have learnt as a child and young teenager and something in me still clings to. I know as a survivor that the world does not always make sense, and it isn't who is strong and good that will conquer the world. Often it is down to who is most persuasive whether they actually have ethics I can understand or not. Mostly they don't have ethics and that is sad. But it is life also. Oh God help me. How depraved relativist that sounds. I try to be open to other things.
The first one I remember is the gas in Japan.
It filled all the trains on 20th March 1995.
It was to be the last world tragedy to which I would respond in a normal manner.
Within a fortnight, my life was to change irrevocably, and the journey to what I am now encapsulates much which is the source of this quote. If I had kept a LiveJournal for these times in 1995, I am sure it would be as full of drama as many journals are today. Even though the situation in my life was something like an ironic tragic-comedy.
Violated all my assumptions on what it is to be tolerant and understanding. Ten months before, I had let Japan and Japanese culture in my life. It was so much to the profit.
Sarin gas and the cult is so frightening. I cannot really conceptualise a blind man with a beard without seeing him. And to think, to so many people, this man was GOD.
I met Japan with suspicion and paranoia. And most of Asia too. I am ashamed now. I have resolved many of these issues over the years, especially over 2001-02 when I was to have so much close contact with Japanese people.
I have said before that September 11 opened things up for the whole world to understand PTSD. (2001)
And if you still don't, I don't know what experience will make you.
March 20 2003 was a really weird day for me. I had workshopped a chapter of some of my first writing in quite a few years, towards a new audience. (This was March the 17th 2003)
I sat there to do my literary work, and then because our tutor had gone to a funeral, I sat there with my Vietnamese acquaintance who has always been decent towards my writing if a bit oddball in other senses. This is not simply on my part. A jobbing nurse said he had social problems.
Well he was there. Then we listened to the radio. It was 4am in Iraq and war had just been declared. We talked about it and then we watched it on the television. CNN and everything and BBC of course. Very reassuring as were the biases. All my ability for critical thinking had been smashed, shall we say?
Was sort of happy to know that Poland was in the coalition. I sneakily admit to finding "You forgot Poland" amusing. It was a slip on Kerry's part. At least I believe it is so.
Well you all know the rest is history. By April we all thought it was over. At least major combat was but there is a lot of reconstruction - that sort of work - to do. Iraq is yet to be a democratic country despite the elections, from what I read. I read the world news very fragmentally. I cannot stand it lots of times, so I skim over much of it. I know this is practically a crime.
This is the end of the anniversaries on March 20 that I remember. I think they are light beams or icons to make us work towards eradicating and admitting our prejudices. If we are strong enough and good enough - that is the legacy of a Puritan/Kantian ethic which I have learnt as a child and young teenager and something in me still clings to. I know as a survivor that the world does not always make sense, and it isn't who is strong and good that will conquer the world. Often it is down to who is most persuasive whether they actually have ethics I can understand or not. Mostly they don't have ethics and that is sad. But it is life also. Oh God help me. How depraved relativist that sounds. I try to be open to other things.