I was just searching through the blogs on Google and I stumbled upon yours.
I've read a couple of the entries, and I know how it is to feel this way. I've struggled with depression all my life and have tried, sometimes successfully, to logically provide a backbone for suicide.
But there is no objective way of evaluating the universe, because your chemical state changes it.
But why would you kill yourself? It doesn't accomplish anything unless you are absolutely certain that there is no way your world will brighten. And you've only lived a small fraction of how long you could potentially live, and if you're in college, you've only experienced very limited situations, how could you accurately predict the future?
This isn't to say that the depression will just go away on it's own. There are reasons for your depression. And I can tell you what helped get rid of my depression:
1. Moving away from the cold and dark northeast to go to school somewhere sunny and warm. This was a huge factor.
2. Exercising every day and taking multi-vitamins. It really does help.
3. Reading. Reading anything helps because it is mental stimulation. Reading a good book can take you away from the world you're in right now (and that's the ultimate goal of suicide, isn't it?). The Dune series is excellent if you haven't read it. Art and Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance is what I'm on right now and it's really interesting.
And think, you go to one of the schools with the highest depression rate. There's an incredible amount of stress. It's not that life is unbearable but that the life you've lived up until this point seems to be. And if you change your expectations; realize that where you are is not the real world, and that there is no one acceptable way of living, things should change. But you can't will them to.
I've read a couple of the entries, and I know how it is to feel this way. I've struggled with depression all my life and have tried, sometimes successfully, to logically provide a backbone for suicide.
But there is no objective way of evaluating the universe, because your chemical state changes it.
But why would you kill yourself? It doesn't accomplish anything unless you are absolutely certain that there is no way your world will brighten. And you've only lived a small fraction of how long you could potentially live, and if you're in college, you've only experienced very limited situations, how could you accurately predict the future?
This isn't to say that the depression will just go away on it's own. There are reasons for your depression. And I can tell you what helped get rid of my depression:
1. Moving away from the cold and dark northeast to go to school somewhere sunny and warm. This was a huge factor.
2. Exercising every day and taking multi-vitamins. It really does help.
3. Reading. Reading anything helps because it is mental stimulation. Reading a good book can take you away from the world you're in right now (and that's the ultimate goal of suicide, isn't it?). The Dune series is excellent if you haven't read it. Art and Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance is what I'm on right now and it's really interesting.
And think, you go to one of the schools with the highest depression rate. There's an incredible amount of stress. It's not that life is unbearable but that the life you've lived up until this point seems to be. And if you change your expectations; realize that where you are is not the real world, and that there is no one acceptable way of living, things should change. But you can't will them to.
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