Venting About Old Thoughts
Okay, so here goes...
It's a gorgeous day outside, and unfortunetly I want nothing to do with it. I'm sitting here in my study awaiting the long lost ambition I once had to through on my blades and work-out my neglected lower body.
However, laziness is a virtue that I so diarly need to lose.
So for some reason I am caught up in my past life. Go figure.
I still can't get over how my family back home reacts to me. The sad thing is, I really should just let the past go. But the problem is I can't. With my mother e-mailing me every day about her new controlling husband, and the fact that she's confined to the house they are currently building together.
A dear friend once told me that I tend to over-dramatize my life.
And I finally am realizing that that is such a true statement.
I mean how many married women will pick a fight with their husbands because she is waiting for the first sight romance feelings to come flooding back. Not too many... however I don't know too many married women my age, haha
However I do believe the drama exists because the way I truely view my life as completely boring. With the same daily chores, and same daily turn-outs that really could use a change.
I am definately struggling with making new friends in my surroundings. I find that people in my community are either too old or too reserved to meet up to my free thought, free speaking way of life. I find it awfully depressing to be surrounded by women looking for love or looking for the perfect sperm donations, that it really does seem useless to allow myself to be surrounded by such pathetic excuses of women. I mean whatever happened to the dream of being successful on your own, making a title that doesn't include stay at home mother with no ambition of finishing the college degree.
The sad thing is, I'm starting to just give up. Watching so many women in gaggles pushing the latest roller-stroller around makes me feel like I'm the one lost in dino-land and maybe the evolutionary theory of reproduction is making a come back. But then there is my mother in law's voice in the back of my head.
I keep being reminded that we are really not "stuck" in this city. That really we are just temporarily delayed here on our way to "dink-land" (I.e.: Double Income No Kids for all the perverts out there). And fortunetly kids or no kids I do really want to have a career of my own. The never ending battle of school, minus the added delay of transferable credits my prior university decided to share with my current university... well it's not been a fun journey. I mean who really enjoys starting over with a bigger challenge placed in front a women who felt she was bigger than life.
So with those previous battles mentioned above, mixed in with the everyday struggle of playing the "who wants to hire me for a DECENT job" game, I guess I really feel that I've hit the all time low part of my life.
Looking on the bright side though, I married my best friend, and the best part is, he really wants to help me and encourage me through these dark times. And even though I currently am seeking employment, the three international tenants are providing us with a suitable income that simulates what employment perks really are meant to do.
So with that lovely 5 hours excert, I hope to get off this hard wooden chair and work off the baby belly that resulted from my splurge of chocolate muffins.
Loves and kisses
It's a gorgeous day outside, and unfortunetly I want nothing to do with it. I'm sitting here in my study awaiting the long lost ambition I once had to through on my blades and work-out my neglected lower body.
However, laziness is a virtue that I so diarly need to lose.
So for some reason I am caught up in my past life. Go figure.
I still can't get over how my family back home reacts to me. The sad thing is, I really should just let the past go. But the problem is I can't. With my mother e-mailing me every day about her new controlling husband, and the fact that she's confined to the house they are currently building together.
A dear friend once told me that I tend to over-dramatize my life.
And I finally am realizing that that is such a true statement.
I mean how many married women will pick a fight with their husbands because she is waiting for the first sight romance feelings to come flooding back. Not too many... however I don't know too many married women my age, haha
However I do believe the drama exists because the way I truely view my life as completely boring. With the same daily chores, and same daily turn-outs that really could use a change.
I am definately struggling with making new friends in my surroundings. I find that people in my community are either too old or too reserved to meet up to my free thought, free speaking way of life. I find it awfully depressing to be surrounded by women looking for love or looking for the perfect sperm donations, that it really does seem useless to allow myself to be surrounded by such pathetic excuses of women. I mean whatever happened to the dream of being successful on your own, making a title that doesn't include stay at home mother with no ambition of finishing the college degree.
The sad thing is, I'm starting to just give up. Watching so many women in gaggles pushing the latest roller-stroller around makes me feel like I'm the one lost in dino-land and maybe the evolutionary theory of reproduction is making a come back. But then there is my mother in law's voice in the back of my head.
I keep being reminded that we are really not "stuck" in this city. That really we are just temporarily delayed here on our way to "dink-land" (I.e.: Double Income No Kids for all the perverts out there). And fortunetly kids or no kids I do really want to have a career of my own. The never ending battle of school, minus the added delay of transferable credits my prior university decided to share with my current university... well it's not been a fun journey. I mean who really enjoys starting over with a bigger challenge placed in front a women who felt she was bigger than life.
So with those previous battles mentioned above, mixed in with the everyday struggle of playing the "who wants to hire me for a DECENT job" game, I guess I really feel that I've hit the all time low part of my life.
Looking on the bright side though, I married my best friend, and the best part is, he really wants to help me and encourage me through these dark times. And even though I currently am seeking employment, the three international tenants are providing us with a suitable income that simulates what employment perks really are meant to do.
So with that lovely 5 hours excert, I hope to get off this hard wooden chair and work off the baby belly that resulted from my splurge of chocolate muffins.
Loves and kisses