Sergeant Duncan-O
Well, seven of the most action-packed and fun-filled weeks in The Life and Times of Duncan-O recently came to their inevitable and happy conclusion. First, and most profoundly, I got really fucking sick. For someone who hasn't missed a day of work (at least to actual sickness) in seven years, it was quite a shock. Fever-induced (no, not the fun kind) hallucinations suck. And though I usually feel like I've recovered entirely, I know it's not true. I'm still on the army "dead man" work-restriction profile, and if I move around too strenuously, I get some internal pain right around where my spleen lies. Not only that, but people who haven't seen me in awhile always comment on how much weight I've lost. I know this isn't a good thing, because it's always accompanied by concerns for my health.
I have lost a good deal of weight, maybe even 20 pounds, and I'm not a big guy. This might not be entirely bad, though. I was getting a little chunkier than I've wanted to be, and since the strep/mono thing, I've been able to fit back into my Class A dress uniform much more easily. I was originally fitted for that thing back in basic training, and I was definitely a lot spindlier back then.
But speaking of the Class A's, I have just leaped past what is often considered the biggest single step in a military career. I went before the promotion board and passed it with flying colors. True, most of one's score is political, but I had that covered too--I'm so damn likable and capable, not to mention humble. Also, my unit really needed me to get promoted, and my First Sergeant was a member of the board. But I'm sure that had nothing to do with my 149 out of 150 possible points--it was all due to the fact that I'm the greatest human being who has (or will have) ever lived. Now, provided I don't do anything too stupid in the next couple of months, I should get promoted on May 1st.
The board was just the final event in weeks of cramming military correspondence courses and studying for the board itself. It really wasn't all that hard when it came down to it, but I tend to be rather obsessive and very competitive about my performance on "life tests." For now, though, I'm just glad that I can get my life back a little nearer to where I like it to be: hours upon hours of drunken Duncan-O-to-Interbuttz interface, free of distractions like work, human contact, and sobriety.
I have lost a good deal of weight, maybe even 20 pounds, and I'm not a big guy. This might not be entirely bad, though. I was getting a little chunkier than I've wanted to be, and since the strep/mono thing, I've been able to fit back into my Class A dress uniform much more easily. I was originally fitted for that thing back in basic training, and I was definitely a lot spindlier back then.
But speaking of the Class A's, I have just leaped past what is often considered the biggest single step in a military career. I went before the promotion board and passed it with flying colors. True, most of one's score is political, but I had that covered too--I'm so damn likable and capable, not to mention humble. Also, my unit really needed me to get promoted, and my First Sergeant was a member of the board. But I'm sure that had nothing to do with my 149 out of 150 possible points--it was all due to the fact that I'm the greatest human being who has (or will have) ever lived. Now, provided I don't do anything too stupid in the next couple of months, I should get promoted on May 1st.
The board was just the final event in weeks of cramming military correspondence courses and studying for the board itself. It really wasn't all that hard when it came down to it, but I tend to be rather obsessive and very competitive about my performance on "life tests." For now, though, I'm just glad that I can get my life back a little nearer to where I like it to be: hours upon hours of drunken Duncan-O-to-Interbuttz interface, free of distractions like work, human contact, and sobriety.